this post is as long as my dick.. LOL april foolz mah dick is short lolwut? ............. T_T

When you sleep, a distinct or loud sound can wake you up right? What if I tell you this morning a lack of sound woke me up. Fuhreel dogg. It's like my air conditioner is old and it's noisy as fuck. So whenever I'm in slumber I'm kinda used to the rumblings. This morning around 11 the electricity went off and I woke straight up! It then went on again in an instance and like a robot I walked off to the house alarm cause if I don't enter some kind a number the alarm will usually go off. Some other neighbours with a more probably securer alarm system's alarms went off instantly.

I slowly went back to sleep.

At around 3 pm the electricity went off again and so did the air conditioner and that automatically prompted me to wake up. Again, like a robot I woke up and walked straight to the washing machine, hung some washed clothes outside, then fixed myself a healthy dose of instant indo mee goreng tom yam flavour, then poured out the catfood onto the catfood plate for ninja cat, like a robot.

That's life innit. No I don't have work right now, for some reason I haven't been called up yet.

Anyway, my streamyx is fucked up right now. I don't know why. And I don't feel like calling them up cause this particular streamyx line is not supposed to be up in the first place, it's supposed to be transferred to the line upstairs since I'm gonna be moving up there. These jokers eh. And they even claimed they moved the line already, as if we can't check it ourselves.

You jokers can't trick me I've worked under dem before I know all the bullshit. Technicians will make up all sorts of shit to say they've done shit. I blame the bosses really, they don't focus on actual service, to put it simply, they go for quantity over quality. I worked on the phone, technical helpdesk, and because of the bosses everyone is obsessed with making calls short and dismissing customers as much as possible.

Even I fall prey to this but sometimes I just won't give a fuck, if the customer is polite enough, I'll be helping them with problems I'm not supposed to. The most common is old chinese ladies, they are so propah and polite, but very very clueless. Like I spent nearly an hour helping this particular madam to attach pictures in her e-mail. Hahahaha. It was very hard to explain everything on the phone but I enjoyed it anyway. Don't get me wrong I'm not that helpful, if some assholes demand help I'll usually brush them off, don't waste mah fucking time bitch. I once gave a sermon to some dude for trying to tick me off cause his router is not working, I'm like yo if you use routers you have to be knowledgeable enough to handle it cause usually if the router is not werking it's your fucking fault. The dude thought he was in control at first bullying me and I'm being polite and all and then suddenly I just snapped and gave him a long sermon beautifully worded in perfect english, and he hanged up. HAHA BITCH PWNED.

Foreign callers are dope too sometimes. Some (only a few) of them are too racist and will start using terms like "you people", but most of them are really polite and will endlessly praise you if you do a good job. Some will even have a chat with you, I joked with an australian couple once about terrorism when they asked my name, I'm like I gave my name then went yeah I gotta be careful at airports and shit, bad joke really. The best was once the wife of the argentinian ambassador (I think judging by their address) called up and she had such a sexy south american accent, and again cause she was clueless and polite I helped her check out where her router is, the instructions I gave even prompted her at one point to crawl under the desk and I'm having a boner imagining her yeah you know. Anyway enough about this.

Where was I again?

Oh yeah streamyx is fucking up. So my regular playing of the first person shooter game COD4 is constantly distrupted. So I'm like fuck this I put on my r&b playlist on the foobar so as to fill the moments when I'm waiting for my streamyx connection to get back to stable mode.

You see playing COD4 - blowing heads off inciting genocides and shit while listening to r&b is not that ironic. Thing is there's not much difference between war and r&b.

While I'm shooting newbs and murdering they asses wif mah extra cool blue tiger sprayed AK-47 (I swear AK's are the coolest looking weapons)! I be like don't take it perrrsonallllllllllhuuuuuu (Monica - don't take it personal). And when I'm being an asshole and I kill my own dewds from the same team I be like tatatatak (smooth soul drum kicks in) yes I broke your ribs in twooo and I want the whole worrrlddd to know I'm sorrrrreeeeeyyyyy (The Delfonics - i'm sorry), tralalalalla you know that I loveeeee uuuu eh wait no haha no homo. Anyway when I kill enough fools and get to airstrike, and I call in a super doooper kewl dewd airstrike and genocide befells mah foes, and one by one they get consumed by the kewl dewd bombs BOOM BOOM BOOM I go oh beeelaaaaiiiannn jiiiiwaaaaaaaa (Innuendo - belaian jiwa).

And after the airstrike I get a helicopter. I call in mah airwolf dudes and they start machine gunning and missiling their way through the battlefield oooh FRAG AFTER FRAG I GETS! I wish it would never stop I go like lett'ss make it lassttt foreeevaahhhhhhh (Keith Sweat - make it last forever).

And then and then and then I brag and shit I go over the chatline and type in "ZOMG PWNT" I'm crazy and shit, I start shooting my AK-47 bullets up the air like an arab terrorist. I'm laughing and shit AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA ZOMG PWNT PWNT PWNT BOOYAKA BOOYAKA BOOYAKA. Wgheaukhgukeahgukeahukga. But because of my assholeness I didn't hear the clinging sound of a tin can dropping on the ground where I'm standing. That particular tin can is actually .. a frag grenade. BADABINGBANGBOOM! I get blown off. And as I watch my limbs fly away right before mah eyes I go..........

Ohhhhh welllll there'ssss still tomorrroowwww, ohhh wellll I'lll tryyy againnnnn (Boyz II Men - oh well).

Sigh.

..

So I've watched two movies that you could say typifies part of my childhood - rambo and twilight zone. Rambo 4 and The Mist. Well The Mist is not exactly a Twilight Zone spinoff or anything but it has the same premise and all, it's a Stephen King adaptation. It was pretty cool and all not too bad. Rambo 4 was badass as expected. I got goosebumps, and 8 boners in one boner when Rambo snuck up on the gook on the big gun right on time and started blowing up every shit. I liked sniper dude as well who made perfect headshots head asplodez! They should bring him back for the next one, he was cute too you know no homo. There should be a scene with him and John Rambo having a threesome with the religious chick. Hmm tasty like chickin.

I also watched Battle for Haditha. About a small genocide in Iraq. It seems on one hand you have the U.S. marines who have been guilty of killing innocent people. On the other you have the Al-Qaeda terrorists who are guilty of not giving a fuck about Iraqi lives and won't feel remorse sacrificing it to the Americans just to get more Iraqis on their side. Both of these jokers foreigners. So in the middle you have the actual Iraqis, who either join the terrorists to nobly fight for their countries and would and should actually feel guilty about innocent lives, or just wanna carry on living a normal life. This is a pretty even-handed movie with the feel of a documentary. It is after all made by Nick Broomfield.

Anyway check out this fanmade trailer of an imaginary CONTRA movie! Starring Sly Stallone and Arnold Scwahgaeafzer (most fittingly).