Monday, March 31, 2008

more shit i've watched

God/chance(if you're an infidel) bless mah slowly recovering att. span.

Good Luck Chuck
Dane Cook is annoying on stage as a stand-up comic but I have to admit he's not too bad as an actor. Jessica Alba hmm. I don't really need to say more. Jessica Alba hmm. So cute. I want one. I'll acquire a sugar mummy just so she could buy me one JA. Hmm so kewt dewd.

Is the spiritual spin-off of Freaks and Geeks. I now declare Freaks and Geeks as one of mah fav tv series evva. Just one season? And O.C. and One Tree Hill get to run for decades showing the same shit over and over again. Oh injustice. Undeclared only ran for one season as well before it was cancelled just like Freaks. Oh well at least Judd Apatow has moved on to romantic comedies and is still using his collection of Freaks and Geeks alumni of talents. Btw Undeclared is quite cool, not as endearing as Freaks but it's not bad, really.

Just two? I'll be watching more shit I promise.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

spiderman 3

Took some time out to watch this shit. I delayed watching spiderman 2 too. I learnt the lesson after watching the first one in the cinema and walking out going what the fuck was that emo bullshit.

And how the fuck does spidey has a double chin bigger than mine. Ergh.

And just like my all-time favourite similie, The O.C., the spiderman series has two leading casts that we don't really need to give a fuck about. They suck.

And how the fuck are you gonna let Eric and James Franco get some screen time and then kill them off.

They should've renamed this movie to THE ASSASINATION OF ERIC (who should've been Peter Parker) AND JAMES FRANCO.

How the fuck is changing your hairstyle to some gay shit evil?

If you haven't watched spidey 3 yet, when he gets that venom shit and supposedly turns black and evil, peter parker will sport a stupid emo haircut. Emo is not evil. Emo is emo. He should've sported that haircut regardless causa all his stupid emo bullshit.

Plus the ending scene when Mary Jane sang. I can relate to HER FUCKING CRITICS IN THE NEWSPAPERS. She sucks. Ergh.

The only good dialogue in the whole movie was when James Franco went "what are you gonna do huh?".

Let's build from that and make some plot amendments.

After uttering that. James Franco kicks Peter's ass and goes SYYKKKE like Dave Chapelle.

He then high fives Venom.

They imprison spidey with Mary Jane and force Mary to sing 24/7 until spidey admits that she sucks instead of flashing that annoying smug smile and telling her that she doesn't.

And then James Franco and Eric and Mary jane have a threesome.

The sandman fucks off and is now residing in Port Dickson where he is helping the mayor reclaim the only little piece of beach left for public leisure after most of it has been taken by unfinished hotel projects. Fucking scum.

Eric then takes over as SPIDERMAN!

and James Franco will make a hybrid of the goblin and venom.

Venom on back to the future skates!


surf's up dewd!

Friday, March 28, 2008

the audacity to use a term such as audacity propah or impropah

Just back from the magic mee hoon goreng dealer. Well actually most of the shit is good, the nasi lemak, some of the kuehs. Maybe causa the simplicity. Sometimes cincai mee hoon goreng can taste better than propahlee prepared ones cause we live in fast food times where junk is tastier food.

Thing is, at least two dudes were carrying 50 notes and the dealer didn't have no change. Maybe it's the eternal fiasco that is marring cash transactions everywhere, too much 50, not enough change. Or maybe it's just the audacity of these jokers. How do you expect a nasi lemak dealer opening up a stall made out of a table and a big umbrella to have change for big notes. Wtf. Want some change go to the mamak, they deal with big numbers. I even feel guilty of using big change at 7E's sometimes. One time I felt so guilty and I had no choice since I only had a 50 note, I started picking up more items so the change won't be too much. Well. Yes, maybe it IS the audacity. WTF doggs.

and the winner iz

My aircond is leaking water. If only it leaked burgers or sumin'. My kitchen smells of cat shit (ninja cat), and the dishes are piling up like the pyramids. My super powerful cpu is flashing the blue screen every now and again. Sigh. I haven't washed my car in a month, but that's only being consistent. Argh. There's only one season of Freaks and Geeks and I have finished it - hence no more episodes to watch. GRGKH. But fuck all that cat, if I manage to stay up for 30 minutes more, I could head on outside and get a coupla hits of that good old magic mee hoon goreng. Mm. There must be ganja in that shit. I keep coming back.

I'm drinking plain water. There is nothing like plain water. Just plain water. Not mineral water. No aftertaste. No no. Plain. Kosong. Zilch. Nada. Noodoo. Zalapangkoh. Zatazutu. Zizizuzu. Haha. Man I'm not going crazy. It would be really claustrophobic to go crazy. What if you're just stuck in crazy thoughts if you go crazy. You try to be normal but you're stuck with crazy thoughts and actions. That would be disastrous. Imagine that. Wow. I can't. It's freaking me out right now. It's like being in a fucked up dream you can't wake up out of. Sometimes I wish I could retreat deep into my mind and just chill there. Let me move and do shit like I always do, but me is inside my mind just chillin'. If I could play with shit that exist in my imagination it would be pretty dope too. Cause my imagination knows no boundaries when it comes to women.

If I was a jumper, I would jump out of myself into someone else and just live life somewhere else for fucks. I could jump back to my real self time after time just to check on things. Once I get too used to somewhere it will become too familiar and the novelty would be gone. Time to move on. But sometimes familiarity keeps you sane for no reason other than comfort. Haha, I'm writing all this as if it makes sense and I'm sounding really wise when in reality I sound like a douchebag. But people usually can't tell the difference. Play it safe and you will get nothing. Be a cunt and sometimes you can just get what you want. There I go again trying to sound like I know anything at all about life. There I go again trying to sound edgy by acting like I'm not oblivious to what I'm trying to go do again. Wow. Full circle. It's 6:54 AM.

Blame the fucking time.

The point is this life is food, sex and power. We think about those all the time. Especially when taking a shit, whether we realize it or not.

Because everytime you take a shit, every piece pumped out, means chocolate stains below, but cloudy smokes of thoughtful thinking released upstairs. It's like a sigh of relief let
fly in the form of small bubble clouds. Wow. Can you imagine that.

Can you? If you can't............. "shut the fuck up, you're wrong, kayyy? kayyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Experience has numbed my sense of magic. But no experience can bury completely my sense of hope for magic.

Lalallalalalala. Llululululululu. Wowee. Zoohoo. Pomg Zwnt! Look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal look normal SMILE AND MELT HEARTS. Fuck. Shit. Look normal again. Smile and melt hearts again. Be smart but stupid. Wise but naive. Hahu hahu hahu. Make white wimmin desirable. Hoohaa WOOHAA WOOHAA WOOHAA. Are you still a virgin? No right, you white wimmin. Hahahahahahahaha. Look prettier as you get older, no not prettier HAWTER and HAWTER, wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hawter. Can you still smile and melt hearts. Don't know, maybe I'll run into you somewhere in an airplane on my way to populardom. Why only one season. Oh fuck.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

ninja cat

No I didn't.

I have ran out of crap to excrete onto this blank white canvas of bloggery.

But F.Y.I. I have a ninja cat living with me.

I am unable to physically see it most of the time but it's there, and sometimes luckily I do get to witness its existence, but it (I don't know if it's a he/she) will instantioustacially throw the smoke and escape before I could say "I wanna lick Paris Hilton's skinny boobs".

The background story is this, there's rats around here. I wanted to take from the hometown this murderer cat who could probably solve my rattish woes, but I don't know whether I'll be competent enough to take up the task of taking care of another living being. But it could be good for company too at least right.

And thenn, suddenly appears out of nowhere ninja cat!

I'm not sure whether it's a stray cat or someone else's. But it hangs around this house a lot inside or outside. And leaves a trail of shit sometimes too, but the shit is solid so I could just scoop it up with my lips and nod my head to drop it into the bin. One time I saw it just sitting inside the house, infront of the front door, like an ancient castle guard with ninja-like abilities. One late night I saw it chillin' outside my gate, so I gave it some chicken that I took from the leftovers of a bbq I attended. And although hesitant at first like every ninja who see the potential of poison, it ate that shit soon after I left (while secretly looking). Maybe it saw my kind eyes. Or maybe it has a poison sensing mechanism and poison it hath not sensed.

So when I went out to the world again the day after I decided to stop by the local kedai runcit and get some cat food. I guess we have an agreement, u guard mah house from ratatouille, mah house provides shelter and a place for u to chill, and if you're lucky, cat food poured on the plastic plate.

No petting needed. Ninja cat works alone. Ninja cat has no feelings. Ninja cat works with stealth and efficiency.

Monday, March 24, 2008


I have something to write here you know. Wait till I actually do.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

what have I watched lately

I finally mustered enough courage to finish this one. Actually, if you blank out during the forced dialogues, it's not too bad. And she's pretty cute too. I mean despite the unnatural uncalled for unfunny but she probably think she is - wit which when undressed from her would reveal the true cuteness, yeah despite that.

If you could avoid having homicidal urges caused by the pretentious dialogue, pretentious background music (except for the matt the hoople all the young dudes part), I think there's a high chance of survival watching it. I mean like I said earlier, it's not too bad, there's like the gay nazi dude from OZ who's incidentally Juno's dad and miraculously but fittingly has a lotta witty one-liners that sounds a bit less-scripted than his daughter. There's that dude who listens to Sonic Youth and thinks the 90's was the best time for rock, who will geek out with Juno and what annoyance. When Juno mentioned Stooges as one of her fav bands, it reminded me of when Marissa of The OC said she liked Ramones or something. Why oh why. Oh why. You are so convincing dear vagis. There's that dude from Superbad who's blurriness is not as funny as it was.

The point is, if I ductape Juno's mouth and thrash onions on her eyes, I'd hit it furiously.. dude.

BTW, what is it with that chick who sings half-speech on half-assed acoustic guitars with oh-i'm-sooo-random lyrics on background music. Man shut tha fuck up.

99.9% of indie music made in our time needs to die. Bring back The Gloozebonkers, they'll serve all these indie fucks and show 'em how it's done propah. Fuhreel.

And Juno, I think only the British people could do the whole long sentence wit overkill thingy. Kay? Kayyy.

Brassed Off
Dope. Pretty dope. 90's movie. It's about a brass band in a small mining town in England who are about to be fucked cause they're closing down the fucking mine. I thought it was a comedy at first seeing as that's how they marketed it. But it's more drama, with a little bit of humour and romance. But it's all good cause it's dope. The characters and all that shit you know. Nice music too. I mean. Yeah. Obi Wan Kenobi's in it you know. Oh and that old dude who you see in nearly every Brit flick. Fuck it everyone's goot in this one. Even the old ladies, they're funny too.

Cidade Dos Homens (City of Men)
City of Men is the series which is an unrelated spinoff off the classic City of God sharing the same makers and actors. This is the movie. I haven't watched the series yet. The movie is not bad, it ain't no City of God, but still, it's not bad.

Freaks & Geeks
Watched it at last. Pretty dope! Well I haven't finished the whole season but yeah it's pretty dope. The girl is cute. Seth Rogen is dope, as is his geek version clone, what's that dude with the big glasses' name. I was a bit skeptical at first since I didn't think a series about geeks or freaks could not be cliche and shit, and I thought it was gonna be some strange shit. But as I'm me and I love formulas and high school flicks and this is a simple endearing formulaic high school series, you kno, yea. Yeah I lovez high school flicks, next to romantic comedies and comedies in general. You know, not kidding, I'm simple. Erm, thinking about it, it's good that it's set in the early 80's, the freaks are just basically mustang-driving class-skipping led zeppelin fanboys, the geeks are star wars and partly star trek nerds. I mean imagine if it was set in lyke now, the freaks would be emo and indie faggots, ergh. The geeks would be like, I dunno, what's geeky nowadays, I have no idea.

Sorry movie god, I haven't gathered enough attention span yet to finish No Country For Old Men.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

jumper and malay dudes in handphone porns

Jumper. What a buncha bull. You can tell there's little to no effort taken to make this movie an actual movie. It's just a silicone money tit. Had a nice concept and all. But it's a hundred point one percent bullshit.

Ain't that that Anakin dude? He's got a lot of work to do to atone for the Star Wars bullshit. Either that or he doesn't give a fuck, infact he's carrying on some kind of trademark from that wreck. Like he would be the guy who's supposed to be the good guy but you just feel like deserves a bit of beating more than once in a short while. Like wtf. How does he makes hating a good guy so easy? Oh fuck well.

Don't you just feel like smudging that smug face with burnt coal and rubber. I don't know. Fuck.

And don't every male in this world wanna be Malay? Being an experienced amateur Malay handphone porn audience, I know the pattern. Every clip would usually start with the Malay talking with his dick to a chick who will somehow proceed to suck it for about, what? 5 hours? And only after that will the fucking starts, and guess what, most of the time it's uh.. WOT, woman on top, cowboy. So basically, throughout the porn, the only sweat the dude is gonna excrete.. is in his cum. He's basically just loungin' throughout that shit. Getting blowjobs and chicks riding on him. If that ain't bronsonish macho I don't know what is.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Exile feat. Blu - fly (song of liberation)

This song is pretty pretty prettty beautiful. Take a listen bitch. Blu is this dude who could probably be my favourite new blood in hip hop. He may not be the dopest emcee I have ever heard who is not from the old school or golden age but I dig his knack for picking dope beats/producers and writing good songs (dope structures, dope hooks, dope topics). I don't know which album this song came from it wasn't in his shit with Exile, got it off a mixtape of his done by a fan. Hmm. FLYAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

spawns of lucifer get kicked in the nuts

Lucifer must be really pissed off. You are not corrupt enough dear spawns. Your cheating schemes are too weak, you lost 5 fucking states.

Mah hardcore opposition moms said 'padan muka' to me cause the area I was a slave to the spawns of lucifer for lost and hence no bonus for me.

Mah pops basically experienced the same shit I did before shit hit the fan. Despite the fact that he was a strong reformator during those reformasi days, and nearly all of his good friends running for seats in the opposition, he was a bit skeptical. But restored full support mode after watching Sivaji The Boss' speeches.

Yesterday was tired as fuck but it was really fun.

The only downside was the area I worked in was mostly really cool dudes, so there was no fights. Plus the opposition's hotspot was far away and pretty much had nothing going on.

I really did wanna see some anarchy going on.

I heard some crazy shit went on in Terengganu. Dudes tryna stop dem spawns of lucifer's phantoms and shit.

But whatever.

Today is Sunday. And it is a good day. The weather is cool. Might rain later. But it's a peaceful Sunday.

Told mah moms if those 5 states are taken care of nicely I'll start voting. Especially now that it's evident the spawns of lucifer's cheating methods are not working very well and voting actually has an effect. They don't need to pay me too. Well hmm, maybe they should though.

This is the song to layan special for today.

Friday, March 07, 2008

more on elections, politics, and shit

It's gonna be around 5 hours before election work starts, and I'm gonna be werkin' my ass off for the spawns of lucifer.

And get paid really well.

Before I continue more on general election politics. Let me just say, if you're in Kelana Jaya, you have no excuse to vote for anyone other than the Parti Keadilan Rakyat candidate. Have you seen dude's poster? It's fucking badass as fuck, reminds me of Hong Kong gangster movies. It is so up in the sky badass dude had to sling a camera over his shoulders just so he won't look too badass and a bit more human. In other words, he had to gayefy himself a little bit, if not he would've looked completely like a brutal accountant of a triad/yakuza organization who carries 2 katanas in his car boot. With the camera added, he is but merely a regular man who loves to take pictures but resembles a brutal accountant of a triad/yakuza organization who carries 2 katanas in his car boot.

I wasn't able to document this with pics since I was driving at the time, plus even if I wasn't I was too in sheer awe and was partly immobilized. But here is a re-sketching of what it kinda looked like. He even had some boss looking dude behind him.

Yes ladies and gentlemen that camera really does look out of place but I understand it's marketing, he can't look too gangsta.

I have to admit these PKR posters are quite nicely done. I have been downplaying election posters cause I haven't seen them too often as PKR does not have the multi-billion budget of the spawns of lucifer which is too absurd. Have you seen those big ass the size of a big house billboards? I'm like wtf, we probably have the most surreal elections ever. And all the tv and radio and newspaper ads.

Still PKR has an advantage in their beautifully done posters. Have you seen the NURUL IZZAH posters? wow. She was hotter than she was when everyone of us young reformasi go-ers were stalking her. Way hotter. Some MILFs as well up in this muthafuckah.

A lot of ugly nerds on the spawns of lucifer side though. But they have money. Nerds control everything, you see. That's why I'm working for these nerds, cause as a geek, I consider nerds as the rich older brother/sister, and as the poor idealistic younger brother, I must leech as much as I could.

At the same time hoping this would be the last time I leech from them.

Now back to general election politics.

I think I have changed my mind. My advice is, vote for the opposition. I am not kidding.

I have forgotten that even though my MCGAYGAY hero Anwar Ibrahim is not contending, the dude is still campaigning his black-eyed ass off. And after watching a barrage of his speeches out of my own curiousity, I have sold my anus to him, ALL MY ANUSES ARE BELONG TO HIM. He is still dope as a muthafuckah. The opposition could consist of a football field and him. And I could still hope they win just causa his speeches.

And also cause I learned just recently that PAS won't have the power to change the country's structure even if they win all their seats. As much as some of the people I adore are in PAS - like tuan guru or Ismail Kamus who is dope. I don't think the party is good enough to run anything at all. Much less a country.

I do however have faith in MCGAYGAY a.k.a SIVAJI THE BOSS cause he has afterall helped run this country during its glorious era of development. He knows wassup he will know what to do. He didn't hike the petrol price for 8 years, and it was upped just a few months after he was ousted, suspicious?. The only potential problem is will he have the best support. Are the PKR candidates good enough, I know a lotta them could be bought easily by the spawns of lucifer, will DAP and PAS be giving their optimum support and will it be good enough. Or will they fight amongst each other. Hmm.

I don't know.

And even if lowering the oil price and making education free seems like something impossible right now to me, who knows. I am curious as fuck right now as to if it can ever be achieved. And if the promise of a corruption-free government is upheld by Sivaji The Boss, who knows what we can achieve as a country.

I am extremely curious. But it is either that or complete chaos. Is it a risk yawll should take? (I'm not voting doggz). The thing is Sivaji The Boss has went through 10 years of torture and he is still fighting for this shit when he could so easily just join the spawns of lucifer and lead a much more comfortable life but he's still fighting for this shit so there must be something going on here. I just don't trust too many people especially politicians so I don't know if the opposition can be counted on. And that we're way too comfortable under the spawns of lucifer. Are we ready to risk all the things we could get away with under them?


Btw I didn't give him the Sivaji The Boss nickname, he did it himself in his speeches. Wahuegkahukegkuhahukgea.

And I didn't realize the government media made such a big deal about dude dancing during an Indian gathering he was giving a speech for. WTF? What the fuck's wrong with that. These fucking spawns of lucifer are way too simple-headed. Yet they have an endless pit of funds that I will put my grasping hands into.

Sivaji The 'layan jambu masa sekolah' Boss VS. The dumbfuck spawns of lucifer.

We'll see tomorrow.

Anyone who will make this country a much better place and stop politicians getting 500 million dollar commisions for spending the country's money on bullshit. Just hope whoever it is don't win against the spawn of lucifer I'm working for for if my place loses I won't get BONUSES!

I'm too lazy to do so, unless if I receive some kind of payment, plus my idea of a revolution is taking over the country by force. Until we have a trusted polling system, the spawns of lucifer will always have the upperhand with their dirty shameless tactics.

Still. Like I said, the penyangak party is still on. It is still the best solution for everything that's rubbish and rotten in this hellspawn ruled country.




pie water

Have you seen this particular ad on billboards? |-|-water. |-| = pie. You know that shit you learn in mathematics back in school, or was it physics, ah whatever.

Apparently there's all kinds of plain water, some time ago oxygen water was hanging around the house which I checked out for a while cause I was too lazy to refill plain water in the fridge. Now we have pie water, or it's always been there and only now have I seen the billboard. Not that I have any problems with these plain water tampering businesses.

But for this pie water, this is the catchphrase written on the billboard:

"most similar to your body fluid"

This may or may not be a glitch in the quality of the product. But it's definitely a glitch in marketing.

Which body fluid are you talking about exactly?

It is true that if the water you drink is more similar to the water in your boday it could assimilate easier and is good for your health. I just have a problem with how this catchphrase is worded. Haha.

Cause everytime "body" and "fluid" are put together, the first thing I think about is vaginal discharge. Oh so heavenly.

The second thing is probably sweat.

The third thing is obviously, cum.

The fourth thing is saliva.

The fifth, blood maybe.

The sixth, vaginal discharge of a different density? Wakgkeakhugea.

The seventh, mmm moar vaginal discharge.

Squirt squirt squirt.

So, take your pick pie water drinkers.

Mmm vaginal discharge. MMMMMMMMMMMM.

Shit, now that I think about it. I GOTTA GET this pie water.


God have answered my prayers, and finally I am tagged in this world of cyberspace. By miss ectopy.

Rules. ERGH.
List out five favourite links - the links can be of business sites, affiliate links or whatever that suits the blogger.
Tag five more people to share their links, so hopefully, at the end of the tag, we would be able to share good links with each other.
The links MUST be clean. No X-rated sites.
List out only FIVE links.
You MUST tell the FIVE people you chose.
Provide the link back to the person who tagged you.
Obviously, it should be an active link.

  1. The Resistance Forum - to talk shit (where mah homies chill right, first shit I check everytime I open firefox).

  2. The Ruthless Forum - to read people talk shit (I hardly post, it's the forum for the famed nest of nihilistic asshole reviewers - Ruthless Reviews, like I always say, part of my taste in movies music etc is dictated by the tastebuds of fucking hellbound nihilists, you godless heathens, lolwut).

  3. Bluefame - Indonesian forum. No it's not x-rated. No it doesn't have posts about links to videos of indo and malaysian amateur porn and also various other kinds of multimedia beautifully categorized by the race of wimmin in the particular art. No you won't check out the forum only for that. Unless if you're me whose a member who clicks on the right sections. Wahugkeuagkueahkugea.

  4. Soccernet - you know whatitiz.

  5. Friendster/Myspace/Facebook - to remind myself how much of a loser I am since I hardly get any new updates from these websites. Also to check out cute chicks to wank to wakhugeukagheahkuga just kidding wuahkgheauhkga no, not kidding T_T

- Honorable mention: This blog cause like every freeeeking blogger I use the links section I put up here to visit those blogs.

I'm gonna tag all five of you who read this blog, tell yourself.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


There is a mamak near my place which has berianis that look and taste like the ones in weddings. So bersih. And not so heavy. Pretty dope.

pening kapla aku dibuatnya

Sialla aku nak cerita. Tadi aku nak amik gambar cicak nih aku fikir macam "kalo letak kat blog nih chun gak". Sebab cicak tuh macam kepala dia terangkat cam pelik. Aku try approach slow slow. Lepas tuh dengan bodohnya aku buat "shhhhhhhhh" macamlah ada sekumpulan rombongan krew ambil gambar kat sebelah aku tengah bising. Memanglah cicak tuh lari kalau aku buat camtuh. Isk. Tapi dapat ah aku tangkap gambar ekor dia sikit. Sekali nak transfer dari hemfon aku tableh ada masalah apa tah. ARGKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

tim boots

Should I get this?

Monday, March 03, 2008


aku masih awake dan jam menunjukkuan pukol 6:23 AM haha. nampaknya mee hoon goreng + sambal sudah calling calling. haha. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

walaupun tapi

pagi pagi buter nih digging music untuk layan agak layan.


terbangun pukul 3 pagi. tak leh tidur balik. susah nak tidur balik.

kalau bangun kul 6 ke takpe ah gak. lepak sejam.

pastuh keluar layan mee hoon goreng dengan sambal chun gak kan.

tapi sekarang aku bangun kul 3 pagi.

main cod4 mungkin bleh ah tapi sampai bila nak layan cod je pukul 3 pagi.

kalau ada awek nak chat sampai kul 8 pagi sekarang nih pun takpe gak.

tapi takde awek.

kalau layan bal pun takpe gak. buleh melayang jap sambil dengar music music layan yang sangat layan nih.

tapi aku tak layan bal.

kalau ada pizza leftover ke takpe gak. buleh layan perot jap.

tapi pizza dah habes. lagipun pizza aku order malam tadi size s jack, ada 4 ketul je. aku lupa betapa keciknya size paling kecik, tapi takpe aku order criss cut sekali.

asal aku elaborate pasal makanan aku order malam tadi, kan dah lapar.

kalau ada makwe yang tak geti tidur malam pun takpe gak. buleh call jap layan suara dia ke.

tapi takde makwe.

tapi tak habes habes perempuan kau nih penyangak.

apa nak buat. inilah kehidupan seorang heteroseksual yang lonely macam mp3 player.


betul ah mp3 player lonely.

mana ada orang pakai dua mp3 player sekali. aku pun lepas beli satu mp3 player baru kasi yang lama kat orang lain.

sionnn mp3 player. lonely.

takde ke mp3 player yang dia nye headset macam ringan. bukan ringan ah. tapi macam kalau kau pakai dia macam tak rasa dia ada kat situ. tapi dia ada kat situ. kira macam tak rimas ah. macam maybe buleh pasang cip kat telinga ke. so macam kau leh dengar music sentiasa tapi tak rasa macam kau pasang bende tuk dengar muzik.

chare gak kalo ada.

tapi takde kut.

setahu aku. japanese people? yawll feel me? do something doggz.

kalau aku rajin takpe gak. leh ah kelua jap hartamas ke tengok budak budak kolej yang tak gheti tidur lepak. mungkin ada awek yang choon. buleh lah cuci mata yang tak mengantuk aku nih jap. mm. leh layan burger ke indo mee ke rojak ke apa ke daym.

kalau aku leh terbang jap. landing kat atas klcc. layan tengok kl jap. chun gak.

takpun aku turun mana mana jap. cape town ke hong kong ke singapore ke. layan tengok derang tengah buat apa ke. new york keh.

kalau aku wali mungkin bleh kot.

tapi aku bukan.

kalau layan buat beat ke leh gak. tapi evytime aku cam bosan aku tinggalkan je. sebab aku poyo.

poyo poyo poyo.

poyo poyo poyo.

poyo poyo poyo.

perkataan favourite aku. kalau ada orang tengah bawak kereta macam kurang ajar. dia poyo. kenapa dia poyo? aku pun tak tahu.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Mahathir is the messiah?

Any'a you dudes checked this out?

Damn. Haha.

I always thought dude was a genius and all that, but very evil.

But now he looks like wtf, what happened to him, is he good now? Fuhreel?


This is like that moment when Darth Vader's mask was opened and we see his kind eyes, except this time big daddy black ain't about to pop off.

I'm gonna rekindle my 13-years-of-age victim-of-government-propaganda-in-school-lessons admiration of him.

For sho'.

Saturday, March 01, 2008


I have voted once. But only for a university election. Only cause a friend's younger brother was contending. And also since it didn't require much hassle. Just a student card.

But it was a bit fucked up. There were like a hundred candidates you have to choose from and they don't have party logos besides their faces. I brought in a paper my friend gave me. But the asshole polling officer took it from me.

Being a clueless voter. I just carried on not knowing that I have the right to bring that paper in as long as it doesn't have a logo on it. Or something. Well fuck it. I went into the booth, voted for the dude, then picked whoever's female and has a pretty enough face. There was this one amoi chick who was really cute I have wanted to vote her in ever since I saw her face on the small posters across campus. Regardless of whatever asshole party/committee she represented.

That's not gonna happen in this country's general election. Hardly a cute face. Ugly arseholes mostly. These small posters are marring the beauty of our city.

If you ask for advice from me on voting. I'd say don't unless you're paid well enough to do so.

First off BN (the current government) is gonna win regardless. They're too established and too corrupt not to.

Second off if BA (opposition) wins, you know what's the first thing that's gonna happen? Chaos. Fight. Every fucking BA component party have their own agenda. And the whole BA manifesto is full of fairy dovey crap that's not gonna happen and they're not gonna be fulfilling anytime soon and it's only gonna piss a lot of people off. Most of these guys are just bitter that's all, they don't know a fuck about ruling a country. Especially this one cause they've never done so.

So my ultimate advice I repeat is, unless you're getting paid a good enough sum, don't vote.

The only way for this country to reach it's optimum potential is for me MR PENYANGAK to create my own party.

I'm gonna let Germans and Japs in to mend all the engineering fuckups cause by Mr. Sam.

I'm gonna let Jews come in and make my people smart.

All Chinese, Indians, Malays, and other natives of this country since a certain whatever that whatever deserves to be natives bla bla fought for this country. Are Malays. Fuck you.

I'm gonna throw out the baju melayu and replace it with simple t-shirts.

RAMBO, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, and Vijay are my bodyguards.

I'm gonna let Brazillians and Argentinians in to play football for us.

I'm gonna encourage inter-racial marriages cause mixed parentage = cute chicks.

Especially if there's some Irish, Black, Pinoy blood up in that ass. Well whatever, as long as it's the mix it's usually the shit.

Police force will have a badass uniform. What the fuck is up with dem gay ass uniforms. They need badass shit. They will drive AND ride beamers. Fuhreel.

Daniel Craig and Matt Damon will lead the spy department.

All Soldiers will have dreadlocks. Why? No reason, they just look badass. And all of them will be carrying AK-47's with an ipod+speaker attached to it. Because they're gonna be listening to Public Enemy while at war with, possibly Singaporeans. HAHA you're mine now Singapore.

I'm gonna cut off water supply to Singapore and close all petrol pumps in JB. And then I'm gonna force closure of MRT. HAHA you're mine now Singapore.

And then I'm gonna send recon spies to hijack all murtabak supply over there. HAHA you're doomed now.

And then I'm gonna take over and make them our 2nd capital. HAHA how that feel now bitch. And then I'm gonna give back the soul they lost when they departed from us. It's aight tho. YOU'RE MINE HAHA I CAN HAS SINGAPORE NO? WHAT? YES? YES, IT'S YES NOT NO. NO?

I'm gonna let Brazilians, Mexicans, Koreans, Japaneseans, Hongkeeans, French, British whatever-ians-whomakegoodmovie to make movies for us. Maybe some Americans to help out.

I'm gonna buy HBO and Showtime and make 'em Malaysian.

I'm gonna build houses for all hip hop legends. All of them are gonna be selling crack here.

I'm gonna change the weather to 4 seasons. But not too hot and not too cold. The perfect weather. Fuck yawll.

I'm gonna take over Korea and marry my sassy girl. Hmm.

..and and and

I'm gonna do a whole load of other cumshot things. I mean good things. You know?




On second thoughts. Fuck all that too much work. TMW TMW TMW. Oh God just send me to heaven. Earth sucks ass.