MALAYSIAN ELECTION 2008

I have voted once. But only for a university election. Only cause a friend's younger brother was contending. And also since it didn't require much hassle. Just a student card.

But it was a bit fucked up. There were like a hundred candidates you have to choose from and they don't have party logos besides their faces. I brought in a paper my friend gave me. But the asshole polling officer took it from me.

Being a clueless voter. I just carried on not knowing that I have the right to bring that paper in as long as it doesn't have a logo on it. Or something. Well fuck it. I went into the booth, voted for the dude, then picked whoever's female and has a pretty enough face. There was this one amoi chick who was really cute I have wanted to vote her in ever since I saw her face on the small posters across campus. Regardless of whatever asshole party/committee she represented.

That's not gonna happen in this country's general election. Hardly a cute face. Ugly arseholes mostly. These small posters are marring the beauty of our city.

If you ask for advice from me on voting. I'd say don't unless you're paid well enough to do so.

First off BN (the current government) is gonna win regardless. They're too established and too corrupt not to.

Second off if BA (opposition) wins, you know what's the first thing that's gonna happen? Chaos. Fight. Every fucking BA component party have their own agenda. And the whole BA manifesto is full of fairy dovey crap that's not gonna happen and they're not gonna be fulfilling anytime soon and it's only gonna piss a lot of people off. Most of these guys are just bitter that's all, they don't know a fuck about ruling a country. Especially this one cause they've never done so.

So my ultimate advice I repeat is, unless you're getting paid a good enough sum, don't vote.

The only way for this country to reach it's optimum potential is for me MR PENYANGAK to create my own party.

I'm gonna let Germans and Japs in to mend all the engineering fuckups cause by Mr. Sam.

I'm gonna let Jews come in and make my people smart.

All Chinese, Indians, Malays, and other natives of this country since a certain whatever that whatever deserves to be natives bla bla fought for this country. Are Malays. Fuck you.

I'm gonna throw out the baju melayu and replace it with simple t-shirts.

RAMBO, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, and Vijay are my bodyguards.

I'm gonna let Brazillians and Argentinians in to play football for us.

I'm gonna encourage inter-racial marriages cause mixed parentage = cute chicks.

Especially if there's some Irish, Black, Pinoy blood up in that ass. Well whatever, as long as it's the mix it's usually the shit.

Police force will have a badass uniform. What the fuck is up with dem gay ass uniforms. They need badass shit. They will drive AND ride beamers. Fuhreel.

Daniel Craig and Matt Damon will lead the spy department.

All Soldiers will have dreadlocks. Why? No reason, they just look badass. And all of them will be carrying AK-47's with an ipod+speaker attached to it. Because they're gonna be listening to Public Enemy while at war with, possibly Singaporeans. HAHA you're mine now Singapore.

I'm gonna cut off water supply to Singapore and close all petrol pumps in JB. And then I'm gonna force closure of MRT. HAHA you're mine now Singapore.

And then I'm gonna send recon spies to hijack all murtabak supply over there. HAHA you're doomed now.

And then I'm gonna take over and make them our 2nd capital. HAHA how that feel now bitch. And then I'm gonna give back the soul they lost when they departed from us. It's aight tho. YOU'RE MINE HAHA I CAN HAS SINGAPORE NO? WHAT? YES? YES, IT'S YES NOT NO. NO?

I'm gonna let Brazilians, Mexicans, Koreans, Japaneseans, Hongkeeans, French, British whatever-ians-whomakegoodmovie to make movies for us. Maybe some Americans to help out.

I'm gonna buy HBO and Showtime and make 'em Malaysian.

I'm gonna build houses for all hip hop legends. All of them are gonna be selling crack here.

I'm gonna change the weather to 4 seasons. But not too hot and not too cold. The perfect weather. Fuck yawll.

I'm gonna take over Korea and marry my sassy girl. Hmm.

..and and and

I'm gonna do a whole load of other cumshot things. I mean good things. You know?

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On second thoughts. Fuck all that too much work. TMW TMW TMW. Oh God just send me to heaven. Earth sucks ass.