Sunday, September 04, 2011

what i think of mat sabu, our pm najib razak, and bersih rally

mat sabu. if i had went to his open house during raya i would be intimidated by him. he just has this no nonsense disapproving uncle look about him. he looks like he owns a rifle and knows how to steer a boat. he wouldn't look awkward in a cowboy hat. he looks like he knows how to rear macho goats. he looks like he's constantly judging you and the rate of judgement escalates alarmingly the nearer you get to shaking his hands.

our beloved pm has supple lips. when he was the education minister back in the days i used to judge him because of the lips. what i didn't realize was i had almost the same type of lips. i always thought i had malay lips but no my lips are niggah lips. and i am proud of it! i love it tbh. back to the pm, yeah he has obscenely distracting lips.

i'm scared of his wife. did y'all see the raya speech? on the left side of her there were fire from those raya pelitas and she did not budge one bit. she is a stone cold terminator. if ever her presence in real life is beheld by yours truly i would run oppositiously flailing and screaming as if the morphing of a giant tadpole to a giant frog about to slimage my city is approaching.

and now for a short review break. GAME OF THRONES IS THE BEST THING EVAR!

the bersih rally stirred a few cockles and cunts when it happened a few months ago. what did i think of it? well i thought it was bullshit. we are not a communist country like the stinking u.s.a., we can't have the population having opinions. i envy democratic countries like north korea where the people obey their leader, i think we're almost there though, our media outlets are already obedient enough like the n. korea ones. now all we need is better news, in the next election any voteage loss incurred by the ruling government must be attributed by the media to the opposition conspiring with the election comission to cheat their way though, and heavy rain.

say what you will about those in disagreement with bersih but at least we are individuals with valid unique opinions. i had talked to a few youngsters who didn't like the idea of bersih. all of them had something fresh to say on why the bersih rally is bullshit, none of them repeated what was brought up non-stop by the newspapers or the tv. in fact i can't recall anyone ever bringing up the "businesses in the city will be affected" or "riot" angle played out by our respected medias. they all had their own distinctive voices. this is why i have so much faith in our youth.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

some shit i watched

haven't written in a while so don't think i can recall everything i watched anymore especially those in the cinema so disclaimer alert i might miss some and another disclaimer alert for myself nobody gives a fuck. i think i might watch fast 5 tomorrow since the rock is in it and it's one of those type of movies you just enjoy watching on the big screen. i also haven't figured out whether i should write reviews in past or present tense or a chaotic mish-mash of both which i sometimes gracefully succumb to but fuck that here goes nothing:

the commitments
some days i randomly nostalgialize the 90s or the 80s and i would download a movie from that era i haven't watched yet. this is from 1991.

the movie focuses on and around jimmy rabbitte who won't rest until soul is properly represented in ireland regardless of whether everyone else share his passion for it "do you not get it, lads? the irish are the blacks of europe. and dubliners are the blacks of ireland. and the northside dubliners are the blacks of dublin. so say it once, say it loud: i’m black and i’m proud!"

with stone cold determination he sets with a newspaper ad and around his (hilariously ghetto - playtime = kids throwing rocks at walls) neighbourhood to gather more than a few misfits, form a working class dublin soul band, and somehow manage them to success. or not. it's not really about the progression of the band, it's all about the culture, the characters, and the humour surrounding it.

this film has a shitload of those.

my favourite part about the movie is the humour of course, it's swift and doesn't pause for laughter. i had to, many times, though

quite an enjoyable blockbuster akin to iron man which started the whole foreplay for the avengers movie (and its sequel hinting at this movie). i thought the casting was done really well, prime example being the son of odin himself, hot as fuck, with a muscular build sculpted by the otherworldly heat that shaped diamonds in outer space and a face fit for the heaviest of viking helmets.

the others were perfect too with my personal favourite being stringer bell (of course.) however natalie portman was pretty boring and thor's whole interaction with the earthlings were pretty dull except for his brief little buddy shit with the professor and that token funny girl. i seriously can't accept his sole reason for having a soft spot for earth was natalie boreman. can't it be something more realistic like say, the internet, or star wars, or japanese game show porn or something. fuck

this was alright. had some good acting from face.  the story was okay, but the film had some cool eye-fucking effects. beats 3d from my perspective

archer (season 2)
pretty much archer, with a new season.

justified (season 1-3)
far be it for me to recommend this to anyone since it's pure indulgence to me so i don't know whether it's good or not but it's basically about a buncha gun-thugs and a buncha lawful gun-thugs. be that as it may, i just have a thing for timothy olyphant

fringe (season 1-3)
someone recommended this on my blog ages ago but i didn't check it out. glad i didn't cause now i get 3 seasons to watch (with the finale coming out tomorrow i think.)

it's pretty much filled with made-up *troll face* problem science? science, lazy-writing, macguyver-like convenience sprawled all around - "let me do this" *does this* *everyone stares* "oh i just happen to take astrophysics with biometric and chemical therapy as a minor back in art school" , needless plot-extending, keanu acting etc etc etc... and i enjoy it.

it has lieutenant cedric daniels playing well, lieutenant cedric daniels with his badass everything and robocop walk. and walter who is always high, gets names wrong, and food cravings while dissecting alien squid monsters. *puts his hand in goo* "oh astro!" "yes" "you know what would be delightful?" "err, nothing that i could think of given a bleeding predator is drooling his molten shit on the fucking table" "goreng pisang... hot, goreng, pisang... mmm" "..."

miranda (season 1-2)
nice little british sitcom about a giant woman with some funny sub-characters in her life. great thing to just chill and watch for some instant entertainment. such fun! © miranda's mother

the troll hunter
a movie about some kids trailing a bear hunter who turns out to be hunting something else entirely. dry norwegian comedy here and there with stone-faced references to local folk-lores in abundance. i think they did a good job with the cg the trolls looked like they were actual

brilliant. johny depp and co did a good job with the voice over. the whole thing is sick though, the animation was beautiful i thought , the story expertly and un-heavyhandedly weaving in references to craft a masterpiece in its own right. not forgetting, a cameo by timothy olyphant

i'm number four
i think i enjoyed this trashy-teen action/horror flick. it's pretty shite but it's reminiscent of some of those trashy-teen action/horror flick from the late 90's which were, shite, but still, sometimes, quite enjoyable. i just can't explain it, i have no idea why i somehow enjoyed it. by the way, the guardian of the alien boy was played by timothy olyphant

sucker punch
boring shit. it was like watching a shitty SLOW MOTION emo music video IN SLOW MOTION of loathsome remakes of otherwise good songs, IN SLOW MOTION

Sunday, March 20, 2011

hikayat merong mahawangsa review

so i watched this movie, here's what i think:

it looks very dark, i mean not dark dark, but dark dark. it's like watching the ong bak sequels (which sucked) with 3d glasses on. i don't know if it's to get some wayang kulit swag on but yeah, bad for the beautiful scenery, but good for the menacing foggy geruda lair

the narrator is rushing it. can't blame him though, he's probably doing it at the station with a train to catch

the audio for dialogues is loud as fuck. it's unique in the sense that it differs from most movies that are annoying with their soft dialogues and loud music contrast but still it's way too loud. either that or the actors in this movie really can talk over a landing airplane

film critics nitpicking on the language shit piss me off. they forget that it's pretty much whatever. so what if the main dude does not speak malay fluently, what is fluent malay. most of the time i watch a malay movie acted by malays they speak an alien language that sounds only vaguely like the malay that we speak daily anyway. it's really whatever-goes especially since it was set in a time where we don't know what the fuck they would speak like and if we did we wouldn't understand it so language in this movie is strictly all about just getting points across not about being authentic or faithful

while we're on about that, the script was pretty decent

the fight scenes were good

the local actors did good. the foreign actors were not bad too

story was dull but i wouldn't know if the source material was already this abc

when i first watched the youtube trailer i thought to myself, that's pretty much the whole movie. after watching the whole flick i was all yeah, that's pretty much the whole trailer

the villain dude is good and funny, with some harun salim bachik + kadir (from kadir doyok) swag on. his commitment towards pervertism is ovation-worthy, i mean his last words were "kelazatan embok masih terasa hingga kini" (my loins are still quivering from the lusty memory of embok's deliciousness... something like that) homie didn't even think twice about having that as his last vocal contribution to planet earth

all in all, an okay effort. i wish they had upped the mysticism in this one, just go ballistic with the crazy purbakala shit. like have taxi drivers carrying civilians on garudas or jentayus (giant birds), or have the old villain dude wear an actual living tiger as his headgear. i don't know, maybe kemawas or whoever the younger villain was could be filmed raping female dinosaurs to satisfy his monstrous carnal requirements. shit i really don't know, maybe wacky historians have a better idea

i guess the makers were more focused on making this comparable with hollywood epics but let's face it except for their technical ability and resources, 75% of the time hollywood sucks anyway. which is why anyone with the opinion that we have a long way to go before being on par on hollywood piss me off. fuck that shit, just do good malaysian movies. fuck that, just do good movies and entertain that's what it's there for. there is no actual standard set by hollywood except maybe technical and aesthetic ones, other than that, blergh

Monday, March 14, 2011

tanda-tanda kau kurus sangat

mamat nih buat tanda-tanda anda semakin gemuk, so aku nak buat isu terbalik, kalau kau mengalami semua ini maka kau tuh dah kurus sangat:

bila kau berdiri tengah-tengah hujan, kau tak basah

kau balik kampung melawat mak bapak. time dinner masa kau hulur pinggan nak nasik, mak kau amik pinggan tuh campak kat syiling pastuh letak periuk nasik kat tempat kau

kawan-kawan kau dari sekolah dulu yang setakat contact kat facebook je berpusu-pusu telepon ajak kau keluar makan

orang yang kau tak kenal telepon ajak kau keluar makan. orang yang tersalah nombor pon ajak kau keluar makan. strangers yang selisih dengan kau kat pekan ajak kau keluar makan. kucing liar pun ajak kau makan whiskas dengan beliau

kau nak bayar lolipop kat 7e akak tuh tengok kau, lari ke sana, lari balik ke kaunter, hulur 50 paket roti yang dia tengah peluk "akak belanja"

everytime kena tiup kipas angin kau end up kat negeri lain

tiap kali kau makan, perut kau buat kenduri kesyukuran, siap sembelih cacing pita dua-tiga ekor

tiap pagi kau tengok cermin bila kau mengiring nak tengok side view kau nampak cermin je

kat kolej kau tengah berdiri tunggu makwe/balak, makcik cleaner tiba-tiba capai kau nak topup penyapu lidi dia

ok byez

Monday, February 28, 2011

set out in the dark, we used to do it out on the park

recently, hip hop has been getting really interesting. this is partly due to the influx of musicians plainly going fuck it and just releasing music, making videos etc. regardless of the market, the industry, or records deals and ultimately getting great response. in most instances, we have youtube and social media to thank for this power of instant publicity granted to a lot of promising talents who deserve it. enough text though, i'm just gonna lay out some shit that got me thinking i'm gonna be an active fan again, i'm gonna step my been-lackluster listening game up and religiously check out for the newest joints again. play along if you're interested in hip hop.

we'll start with the latest hype to hit the mainstream in just one punkish live show:

these guys are okay, but my favorite member from their crew is the infectious (and mysteriously absent) earl sweatshirt whose video went viral and sparked the initial attention towards his crew:

but my favorite out of all the upcoming emcees must be curren$y with the backing of legendary new york producer ski beatz. i listen to this song everyday on the way to work, keeps me chillaxed:

there's also waka flocka flame who with the backing of badass producer lex luger makes fucking gangsta-crunk adlib-booming foes-blasting BOW BOW BOW BOW fuck yeah music:

how about yelawolf, that alabama twang and some indian-american blood equals good shit:

das racist has this one song that i just can't not like, at one point i listened to it almost every hour. the video is too swag:

i just found out about this dude recently. in this particular joint he's got some wu tang shit going on, his delivery is really something:

won't leave out j. cole, some of his songs are pretty hypnotic such as this one (i don't mind drake that much too, but he's pretty big, maybe not that popular in here yet but in the states he is very big):

lil b is not bad too:

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

bronson and glover

sometimes i physically walk out of myself (i have superpowers) and look at myself (i try to make myself invisible while doing this so as to not creep myself out.) i see a boy who does not know what the fuck everything. what the fuck is he doing, what the fuck does he want to do, what the fuck is really all this. and others.

and then i get back into myself to switch back to thinking from a first-person perspective. i don't have an identity beyond my name and my looks, i find it hard or meaningless to fully identify with an identity and i just can't or won't even though sometimes i do.

i'm inconsistent, nobody reads this blog because it's much too all over the place. but i made a vow to myself to not have a formula, or a trademark, just do what i do and write what i write, this is a blog not a website. i lied, i didn't vow, i'm too lazy to have vows, let alone set rules for myself. even if the rules were designed to absolve myself of rules.

maybe it's because in my past i have moved a lot, from here to there to here. thus developing a defense mechanism engineered to avoid myself from local attachments. or maybe

anyway that's the end of my thoughts for today. now back to being a thoughtless little slob. i'm actually pretty big. still a slob though

Monday, January 17, 2011

some shit i watched

since i don't have much to blog about, otherwise.

btw, beware of spoilers.

louis theroux and the ultra zionists

this was really dope! louie theroux is that dude. it's fun to watch him walk around palestine/israel and just interacting with people. the zionists are arrogant assholes but these type of people are everywhere on all sides, just so happen that they have the backing of big world powers. it's just disheartening watching uniformed armed men do the dance of fucked-upness with kids who throw stones. dude, one second is all it takes for all of this to be nothing, one second, the earth is killed and none of this fucking matters. and dude, your excuse for occupying those lands is god, fair enough, then good luck explaining to him when you face him one day why you had to do all the things you did to get it

a serbian film
extreme? yes, maybe. but not interesting or creepy or wild enough to be entertaining. all in all it was actually very boring. it took a year and a half for the action to finally start, and when it finally starts because of the plot's setup you could just about somehow predict what cluster-shit is about to happen onscreen. or maybe it's just me and my fucked up mind.

misfits (season 1-2)
the skinny loudmouthed guy is quite funny, the quiet geek pretty cool. other than that the story is messy as fuck, not as annoying as heroes but still, messy. the time traveling oh fuck don't get me started on that, it's an endless rage-stamping of butterflies with no effect whatsoever. they're just basically taking a piss into the wormhole of time-space continuum.

season of the witch
great setting, medieval times, horses, robes, dirty gritty everything but this film disappoints. if they were seriously trying to make the whole journey a is-she-a-witch-or-not it's just plain silly and not working because it's way too clear cut that she is, or some kind of other supernatural shit. and to be honest, it was okay until we reach the bizarre out of nowhere ending (i think this is pretty much a solid clue that spoilers will follow) in which an anorexic demon presents itself to the travellers.

this fucking demon could conjure fire out of thin air like nature was his flame thrower yet when confronted by enemies decides to complicate matters and just wake up zombies to attack them instead. idiot. but i understand, if he's been paying attention to shitty movies it's understandable that he was hesitant to reunite mr. ghost rider with flames. and while we're on that subject, nicholas cage disappointed, there was hardly any over acting that could've elevated this movie to at least almost cult-status. hellboy did look like he was taking the piss though.

pretty cool man, and the rock is just badass as a poker-faced badass. however, what really puzzled me was the ending. this movie went pretty much the whole movie utilizing nice looking flashbacks and then decides to fuck it all up in the end by making bad santa hollywoodly explain everything to everyone for no fucking reason. even the guy he was talking to was like, dude, i'm just here for... fuck, TMI dude.

true grit
the dude! man... anyways that young chick is brilliant, so was the dude and matt damon. the dialogue is cool and all but it went by too fast for my snaily-mind so i'm prolly gonna watch this again if it comes out in our cinemas, i saw the trailer before watching season of the witch.

easy a
the girl, she's not as horrible as juno, but still pretty fucking terrible at sarcasm.

my ex - haunted lover
BOOM! it's a puppy BOOM! a vase fell from the table BOOM! it's just the curtains BOOM! wait that last one wasn't a curtain. Fuck man i'm a chicken and all but some horror movies annoy more than they scare.

i pretty much slept through a dragon fight. this was a zero.

fair game
decent movie.

tron legacy
when tron came out, what made it so phenomenal was its concept both premise-wise and aesthetically (something like what inception did last year.) to emulate that, tron legacy would have to uniquely stimulate your imagination and at the same time raise the bar of presentation. but this just rebooted the old shit and used graphics that are impressive but just on par with the rest which hardly stands out. still i was all warmth inside watching the dude do his thing. "you messin' with my zen, mannn"

adnan sempit
pretty dope despite the linear storyline, the dialogue makes up for that. these funny malay dudes should just all come together and do a dialogue-heavy stoner movie p. ramlee style, fuck a plot.

hantu kak limah balik rumah
it was alright. funny in certain parts

harry potter part 1
very dope and really well made. the shots are beautiful. i was never a big harry potter head but i went back home and watched all the other movies. now i can't wait for part 2

the social network
that guy whatever his name is i hated him before this movie, he was good in this, as were the supporting actors. well-made movie

pretty good animated movie

bruce lee
the main dude is way too tall, awkward, and unintense looking to be bruce lee

it's always sunny in philadelphia new season

not as good as the other seasons but some great episodes. i'm just glad i got my sunny fix. my favorite tv series of all time alongside the office (uk)

peep show new season
pretty meh

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

some shit i watched

piranha is exactly what it is supposed to be, a mindless flick about creatures that swim and hunt actors and extras whom were paid to act like they are taking their roles seriously without taking their roles seriously. i enjoyed it very much.

reign of assassins
cool love story, could have been a perfect wuxia picture if the well choreographed action scenes weren't marred by confusing hollywood-style fast cut editing.

what the expendables was to action movies, is what this movie is, to expendables (think a retirement escapade for retirees retiring from retirement homes). add to that a twist - other than bruce willis as the anchor, none of his assembled team members in the story were played by action flick mainstays. instead, the roles were filled by mostly veteran character actors. so naturally the casting was near perfect. in fact, i don't think the whole film would have worked without their collective charisma since everything else is pretty much simple and direct. which is why despite the fact that i quite enjoyed it i still have a gripe - for something so straightforward it needlessly dragged too much.

buried is impressive due to you know, the moviemaker's self-applied limitations. but from a moviewatcher's perspective, i don't really care, what matters is the entertainment value. so ultimately, this movie regardless of how awe-inspiring it should be to me due to how difficult it was to pull off and how many political injustice obviousness it pointed out, didn't entertain me. and the ending *eyes rolling a perfect semicircle* i assume was written in to seem clever and avoid being cliche, but in 2010 it IS cliche. i understand the need to avoid a hollywood ending and maintain 'artistic credibility', but to me a story should flow as well as the story could, and in this case the ending in my honest opinion, felt very contrived. van wilder did good though.

scott pilgrim vs. the world
quite well made. the old school video game elements are heartwarming and all but overall it was pretty boring.

good action flick, and like any good action flick it didn't waste too much time not being an action flick. in short, the pacing was perfect. it was so dedicated to being an action flick that the back stories (usually utilized to give the illusion of character depth and evoke empathy from the crowd) of the two main characters were established mostly through a hurried conversation made up of forced summaries as if they were in a rush to rescue whatever town the railway track ran through from a rogue freight train full of explosive chemicals. after all, they were in a rush, to rescue, whatever town the railway track ran through, from a rogue freight train, full of explosive chemicals. i don't mind this at all, every action movie should be more like this, 5 minutes max to introduce him and him and him or her, this and that, and we're off.

i had formed an expectation prior to watching this one due to foolishly reading a review. so i was looking forward to a so-bad-it's-good affair, unintentionally funny everything but overall fun experience. i was disappointed, it didn't reach a sufficient amount of any extreme whether positive or negative to be entertaining, the movie was straddling along the line of mediocrity unable to incite anything from me. it felt like it was made for tv, for a channel that i won't be viewing, not even as a brief transit while on a stereotypically male journey of needless multiple channel browsing. but who am i to judge, i shouldn't say anything since i dozed off momentarily halfway through, decided without a whim of a doubt to just walk away and drive home. that was saying something though.

would have had a greater impact if it wasn't for the concept of adorable villains being already introduced earlier this year, softening the blow. for some reason i felt it just didn't have that extra enough to have an emotional effect because seriously if the storyline had been structured a bit better and the characters just a bit more endearing, it could have been magical. on the other hand, magical is exactly how i would describe viewing it in 3d because in this sense it delivered beautifully. if every 3d motion picture looked like this i would think less than twice about investing in 3d contact lenses.

and another thing i truly have to thank the makers of this for - i have never understood the appeal of jonah hill to movie producers but in this one jonah hill who always plays jonah hill was treated exactly how jonah hill of any incarnation should be treated, as a zero. from now on i don't want to see jonah hill in any other form of predicament onscreen, if only we could also somehow pigeonhole jay baruchel into roles that share the same fate.

hachiko: a dog's story
simple and touching. richard gere and that dog, good acting.