Friday, July 28, 2006


Just wondering why geckos (Cicaks) in the thrash compartment of my house are always of the coloured kind, while the ones in the house are of the caucasian kind. As the boy of the house I'm always assigned to throw thrash out and everytime I open the door of the thrash place there would always be one or two geckos runnin' away and from my experience since I was a kid, they would always be either of the black or brown coloured ones. Is this some kind of social commentary shit the geckos are pulling on us or are they still practising apartheid. Whatever it is I surely hope their Mandela stays in prison cause as much as I fear geckos, I'd rather only the white ones be inside and the coloured ones, yo, please stay outside, thank you. I'm not being racist, I'm talking about geckos here, hello, I'm brown myself, I bet if I was a gecko I'd scare the shit out of humans. Peace.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Smart Never Relevant


A quote :-

Syed Ahmad Johari, a public school teacher, who wears a serban and also dons a jubah (robe), said he would discuss with his lawyers the probability of taking the matter to the Syariah Court.

“Although it is a defeat for me, it is a victory for Islam because this issue has been brought to the highest court of the land. At least, the public would be aware of it,” said the 48-year-old father of six sons aged nine to 18, who all came to court together with turbans.

And I say, what the fuck? Who the fuck are you to represent Islam?

No, this is a defeat for Islam, and a victory for FASHION STATEMENT, so fuck off holy one, fuck the fuck off.

I wouldn't mind if they were fighting for rights to pray at school, THAT would be a fight for Islam, but this petty bullshit, why don't y'all take off the turban, and use the money you would spend to buy it in the first place to donate to the plight of Palestinians or something, I'm not saying y'all don't donate, but maybe you'll get a few more ringgits more by ignoring fashion and those few ringgits will fucking COUNT, fucking believe me.

Fucking idiots. I love Islam. I just fucking hate a lot of Muslims, maybe we should start converting Jews into Islam, them are some fucking smart peoples.

Monday, July 10, 2006

A Tribute To ZIZOU

As a tribute to one of the best human to ever lay his kicks on a ball I will synchronize my post with the title, just for you Zizou.

I can just imagine what he's thinking around the 80th minute of his last match evva - "Trezeguet's a slow fuck, we're not gonna win this match, the fucking Italians are gonna defend their balls off and take it to penalties, and they're gonna win cause taking a penalty with Barthez defending the goalpost is no different than taking a penalty with a can of WD-40 placed in between the goalposts, all you need to do is act like you put in effort kicking the ball so as not to offend the skinhead, all's well end's well for them Italians, so I'm gonna be remembered as the fuck who played well but lost to the fucking Italians, I'm not taking this shit"


"Man stop fondling my nipples, piss off, what the fuck you saying? No I don't understand your language, you palm tree fuck stop mumbling, what the fuck are you saying, *Smiling* Can you believe this guy? What the fuck is he bitching about? What a funny sounding language, pizza crafting fuck, I'm not taking this shit..."


"I'm not taking this shit".

"Italy won the World Cup" "What? Whatever, ZIZOU! ZIZOU! ZIZOU!"

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Circular Motion

I think I would make a very bad tourist guide. "Oh, there's a lot of good stuff in Low Yat and Sg. Wang, I used to live in the south, JB, over there the piracy is also very very good, errrr I mean bad, hahaha", "There's the zoo, but the zoo at your place is probably much better", "Well except the beaches, there's nothing much here for tourists, there's loads of shopping complexes though". But whether you like it or not, the best tourist attractions in Malaysia are the beaches, the piracy, the rempits at night, err and whatever else, don't you think they should advertise rempits in brochures, I mean come on, they are a sight to behold, allthough they do piss off us drivers, but nobody's perfect. Oh! and there's also the kids on scooters, I don't mind kids on scooters, but there's this particular street in hartamas where a stadium full of them just sit down and look bored, maybe if they do that long enough someone will give them money to buy something at burger king thus having a purpose in life.

I don't know, I'm not one to judge.

Then there's also the MRR2, what a sight to behold! If I'm not mistaken visiting hours is 9PM-6AM. To those not in the know, MRR2 is also known as "The Big Tease", after making us sweat and curse for a few years, we finally get to fuck it with the promise of more fucking till at least 20 years in which we might need to find something younger and less bitchy about being fucked f.o.c, wrong, a few years and the bitch decides she's not fit for fucking and needs, no not a makeover, but a few prosthetics just to keep her legs from falling apart while she spreads them muthafuckaz again, so this hard dick in desperate need of some MRR2 lovin' has to be put on hold for a while, down boy down. Man fuck this, give me a hot slut whore like LDP anyday.

I'm straying off topic.

The World Cup has ended. The best match was the England Portugal one cause it had balls being stomped, I wouldn't encourage testicle stomping, but this was a Chelsea player getting it, it's okay Carvalhoe, you can check with your gaffer back at the EPL, he might have some extra balls to give away, I've seen him spit them out effortlessly in press interviews. And Beckham giving up the captain armband is not something I would like to read in yesterday's paper, it's something that's due years ago, you cannot ever make a metrosexual captain of a football team, give 'em to testicle stompers, fuck England, boring. Argentina was out early too, pity the coach made two of the most costly bad decisions in his life, I mean he built a great team. Props to Germany, I used to hate their boring asses, but you have to appreciate their art when handling calculative shits like penalties, I mean I know another boring team that knows fuck all about that art, and they have a soulless silicone hoe-fucking captain too.

I support Man Utd, as you all know, and as all you "True" football fans detest.

But fuck Ronaldo, the bitch wants to run, fine, sell him for a fucking fortune and get some muthafuckaz who can actually play (Ribery? Mascherano? Torres? Why Fucking Not?) football without having bad skin complexion, stupid looking gel heavy hairstyle, running like he's on a treadmill with not enough rubber, cries like a bitch when confronted by Ruud - who the fuck would cry because of Ruud other than to stop from laughing at the odd construction of his facial bone, does stepovers that could very well prove fortune tellers might not be lying when they say they can predict your future as everyone seem to know he's going to do it before he does, shoots the ball over the bar at every given chance allthough this could very well just be nitpicking as like everyone of you males I am also aware of the WC statistical wonder that is Lampard, did an ad with another "Skillfull" catastrophe - Ibrahimovic, dives like he was from Portugal, etc.

Go join Becks in the metro club, maybe the both of you can do your nails together, maybe you can learn to cross from him, maybe you can fuck Posh Spice with him, threesome, maybe you can do your nails with Posh Spice, maybe you can learn bad hairstylings from the master himself, maybe you can learn how to speak funny, maybe you can learn how to make millions of girls support your club for no reason other than your ugly metro ass.

Whatever it is, get a fucking plane ticket and fuck off cause Rooney and his Carval-hoeing boots are out for your balls nigz.

I've watched some interesting movies like say, American Graffiti, or A Fish Called Wanda, movies I've been wanting to watch for years, and a few more as well like say Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I want to write about them. Wkahrhkakghahkgahkga. Peace.