Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Circular Motion

I think I would make a very bad tourist guide. "Oh, there's a lot of good stuff in Low Yat and Sg. Wang, I used to live in the south, JB, over there the piracy is also very very good, errrr I mean bad, hahaha", "There's the zoo, but the zoo at your place is probably much better", "Well except the beaches, there's nothing much here for tourists, there's loads of shopping complexes though". But whether you like it or not, the best tourist attractions in Malaysia are the beaches, the piracy, the rempits at night, err and whatever else, don't you think they should advertise rempits in brochures, I mean come on, they are a sight to behold, allthough they do piss off us drivers, but nobody's perfect. Oh! and there's also the kids on scooters, I don't mind kids on scooters, but there's this particular street in hartamas where a stadium full of them just sit down and look bored, maybe if they do that long enough someone will give them money to buy something at burger king thus having a purpose in life.

I don't know, I'm not one to judge.

Then there's also the MRR2, what a sight to behold! If I'm not mistaken visiting hours is 9PM-6AM. To those not in the know, MRR2 is also known as "The Big Tease", after making us sweat and curse for a few years, we finally get to fuck it with the promise of more fucking till at least 20 years in which we might need to find something younger and less bitchy about being fucked f.o.c, wrong, a few years and the bitch decides she's not fit for fucking and needs, no not a makeover, but a few prosthetics just to keep her legs from falling apart while she spreads them muthafuckaz again, so this hard dick in desperate need of some MRR2 lovin' has to be put on hold for a while, down boy down. Man fuck this, give me a hot slut whore like LDP anyday.

I'm straying off topic.

The World Cup has ended. The best match was the England Portugal one cause it had balls being stomped, I wouldn't encourage testicle stomping, but this was a Chelsea player getting it, it's okay Carvalhoe, you can check with your gaffer back at the EPL, he might have some extra balls to give away, I've seen him spit them out effortlessly in press interviews. And Beckham giving up the captain armband is not something I would like to read in yesterday's paper, it's something that's due years ago, you cannot ever make a metrosexual captain of a football team, give 'em to testicle stompers, fuck England, boring. Argentina was out early too, pity the coach made two of the most costly bad decisions in his life, I mean he built a great team. Props to Germany, I used to hate their boring asses, but you have to appreciate their art when handling calculative shits like penalties, I mean I know another boring team that knows fuck all about that art, and they have a soulless silicone hoe-fucking captain too.

I support Man Utd, as you all know, and as all you "True" football fans detest.

But fuck Ronaldo, the bitch wants to run, fine, sell him for a fucking fortune and get some muthafuckaz who can actually play (Ribery? Mascherano? Torres? Why Fucking Not?) football without having bad skin complexion, stupid looking gel heavy hairstyle, running like he's on a treadmill with not enough rubber, cries like a bitch when confronted by Ruud - who the fuck would cry because of Ruud other than to stop from laughing at the odd construction of his facial bone, does stepovers that could very well prove fortune tellers might not be lying when they say they can predict your future as everyone seem to know he's going to do it before he does, shoots the ball over the bar at every given chance allthough this could very well just be nitpicking as like everyone of you males I am also aware of the WC statistical wonder that is Lampard, did an ad with another "Skillfull" catastrophe - Ibrahimovic, dives like he was from Portugal, etc.

Go join Becks in the metro club, maybe the both of you can do your nails together, maybe you can learn to cross from him, maybe you can fuck Posh Spice with him, threesome, maybe you can do your nails with Posh Spice, maybe you can learn bad hairstylings from the master himself, maybe you can learn how to speak funny, maybe you can learn how to make millions of girls support your club for no reason other than your ugly metro ass.

Whatever it is, get a fucking plane ticket and fuck off cause Rooney and his Carval-hoeing boots are out for your balls nigz.

I've watched some interesting movies like say, American Graffiti, or A Fish Called Wanda, movies I've been wanting to watch for years, and a few more as well like say Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I want to write about them. Wkahrhkakghahkgahkga. Peace.

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