sometimes i physically walk out of myself (i have superpowers) and look at myself (i try to make myself invisible while doing this so as to not creep myself out.) i see a boy who does not know what the fuck everything. what the fuck is he doing, what the fuck does he want to do, what the fuck is really all this. and others.
and then i get back into myself to switch back to thinking from a first-person perspective. i don't have an identity beyond my name and my looks, i find it hard or meaningless to fully identify with an identity and i just can't or won't even though sometimes i do.
i'm inconsistent, nobody reads this blog because it's much too all over the place. but i made a vow to myself to not have a formula, or a trademark, just do what i do and write what i write, this is a blog not a website. i lied, i didn't vow, i'm too lazy to have vows, let alone set rules for myself. even if the rules were designed to absolve myself of rules.
maybe it's because in my past i have moved a lot, from here to there to here. thus developing a defense mechanism engineered to avoid myself from local attachments. or maybe
anyway that's the end of my thoughts for today. now back to being a thoughtless little slob. i'm actually pretty big. still a slob though
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