fifteen is a magical number

if this entry sucks, it's thinker bell's fault. she (or he) incited/inspired the idea.

erm.

my first wank was when i was 15. and incidentally was also the first evidence of my akil balighness (puberty/manhoodiness). i mean usually dewds get it from wet dreams but i don't think i've had wet dreams before i was 15. and like i might've gotten some cum on me whenever i woke up but have always thought it was sweat. yeah, ladies you're gonna love this entry. it's gonna be legen wait for it wait for it .....DARRR-RYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

what was the cause of it. oh yeah, strip poker.

before i continue we should go a bit further back for my porn history. my porn viewing started around 11 when me and a buncha school friends sneaked out and went back early from school after borrowing a tape from another friend who stole it from his uncle. we went back to one of my friend's house (line clear), this friend was coincidentally, our school's headmaster's son. and he ballsy-ly kept the tape in his schoolbag. lolwut.

after that i don't think i did watch much porn. but let me tell you the first time i watched that porn my dick hurt, but it was a good kind of hurt. it's like the dick is bonering out of the normal boner i would have. this was a new kind of boner. my dick totally outbonered its usual bonerism. and i had to lie face down on the carpet to soothe it. it was funny, but wow.

the next time i had more ponerisms was when i was 13 and i used to always chill at my friend's house after school. his parents had all kinds of porn hidden. well to put it simply most of my porn experience was caused by the porn collection of friend's parents, so can you see the social commentary in all this. lolwut.

sometimes accidental though, like when i was way younger, maybe 8 or 9. my uncle bought this movie thinking it was like conan the barbarian or something. turns out, he wasn't too wrong, but it was the soft porn version with topless amazon wimmin wearing fur underwears all around. lickadilly wut wut droolah.

anyway, for some reason through all this pornery there was no wank involved. i always act like i know what lanchap or tocheng is when friends are conversating but i didn't really know what it was/is and whether i should do it or not.

until one fateful day.

i had gotten a copy of the latest strip poker pc game from one of my geek friends. and being the computer geek that i was/am, i found out a way to skip all the poker-ing and just view all the nude pictures.

one lonely afternoon.

no one else in the house.

fingers started rubbing. wow what am i doing this feels good.

went into the room and picked up the blanket.

more rubbing.

ahh.

whaghkeakhgeaukga.

what is this feeling. wow.

out come the wolves. i meant the cum.

uh yeah baby. i'm in love.

what should i do with it.

maybe scrape and put it in a jar on my study desk.

and if the parents ask just say it's a science experiment.

no too risky. plus these were school kid days. fuck it i was even afraid my parents would find out i have a nirvana videotape. i hid it behind all my books.

so i figure out - this magical liquid is part of me and i could make more of it if i wanted too. right? right. so into the toilet then.

by the way i was glad i must say. because 15 is the deadline age for manhoodiness. if i didn't have cum coming out after 15 i could've transformed into a lady. thankfully, i didn't. oh bless you strip poker.

that's the end of that. i hope you ladies have a good time reading it. so that if we ever date you don't have to start a conversation with 'so when was your first wank?', cause you already know. instead, you can start the conversation with 'would you like me to wank you?'. just kidding. actually, no. please. pleaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.