analisis kehebatan lagu fiona (an analysis of the greatness of classic malay song 'fiona')

an absolute classic. the song that filled my lonely 11-year old days. i was soo into 4u2c i made sure i bought their drinks at least once every week. yes bitches they had their own drinks. if they weren't half rnb half rap (if you can call it that) and instead did super dope hardcore hip hop they could have been our very own wu tang clan. and guess where i got mah 4u2c album? i borrowed it from the indo maid next door, yes indo maids back then were hip and hip hop nahmeen?

to examine the awesomeness of this song, we will have to pay attention to its arrangement.

we start with the intro.

throughout the times, dialogue samples from movies have been used vastly in songs by various rap groups sometimes to indicate the direction of the song, sometimes just to make shit sound cool. like, again, wu tang, who used dialogue clips from old ass kung fu movies to signify their dangerousness. 4u2c took this tradition to another level, they made their own dialogue.

we cannot downplay the intent of this dialogue. it was the best setup for a song.

as this is a jiwa kacau or jiwa meruntuh (broken hearted) song. they must stamp a distinct impression of the guy singing who is joe 4u2c. the interchange starts with a few friends who run into joe, and the most memorable part is when one of them goes 'joe belanja a joeeeeeeeee' (joe please treat us to food), the part where that particular dewd stretches joe's name from joe to joeeeeeeeeeee hints that joe's friends depend on him as if he's their dad, and he is probably the most charitable dewd they know. because usually when you ask one of your friends to treat you food the mildest reaction you would get is at least the middle finger. but joe is not like that.

so now what do we know about joe so far? yes, he is kind hearted, giving, and caring. i mean for fuck's sake the moment his friends saw him the first thing they ask him is 'hey joe gi mana nie?' (where you going joe?) with a worried and concerned tone. everytime my friends saw me the first thing they do is try to go the other way, failing in which they will pretend to read smses on the phone trying their best to avoid me, failing that, they will ask me 'gi mana' with a brash uninterested tone. wow wutafrenz. and guess what's next? they see fiona and all of them point to her for joe. why? because joe is so nice a guy. if my friends saw fiona while talking to me knowing i like fiona they would okay fuck this you get the idea. joe is the nicest dude alive. now that has been cemented on the listener's mind what's next?

they had to give you an idea of what joe is like with the ladies. since it seems everybody knows joe likes fiona, it means joe is not ashamed of having a crush on one lady, that means he's a 'onegina' (term borrowed from that stand up comedian, meaning a monogamist of sorts). and if you've seen the video (youtube upstairs), you would know that fiona is butt ugly, therefore we can safely assume joe is not superficial, he looks for a good personality (well, apparently not, after that phone call, but that's not joe's fault really).

oh yes the phone call? just listen to how polite joe is, he is too polite. and more proof of how much people like him. how polite the dude answering the phone is to joe, his delivery was perfectly-worded too. i would assume this dude is fiona's little brother. you know how assholic little brothers are, this one surely is, but not to joe. cause joe is an angel. after learning that fiona has gone out with farid, joe goes softly 'ok takpelah ye' (it's okay then), wow, he has the patience of a camel. if i had learned fiona was going out with farid. i would've gotten really pissed, the first thing to come out of mah mouth would've been 'piss shit cunt.. ok takpelah ye'. and i would delete all 'farid's from my phonebook. regardless of the fact that most farids are good guys, but this is 2008, this was a 'farid' from the 90's. 90's farids are assholes. i would assume this dreaded 'farid' is a mat smart. the typa guy who combs his hair propah, tucks in his shirt, and rides mountain bikes instead of the badass bmx.

now it has been supah propahly established to the listeners that joe is a male version of mother theresa so they can truly enjoy this song and emphatize with joe who will be singing beautifully, too.

then we begin the 'musical' part of the song with a classic guitar solo and a synthesizing build-up as a metaphor to joe's melting heart.

joe begins the song declaring that the rhythm of this love song is straight from his loving heart for fiona (despite how ugly she is).

joe is soo nice, he would be content with just a drop of fiona's love to satisfy his thirst for her. pure modesty. they say modesty is the best policy. well joe is the best policer.

then starts the chorus.

a classically executed one.

with two groups singing different lines that sound so good together. what does this mean? that joe's homies will kill farid from two different angles if needed. they would do anything for joe. these gangbangers will drive by farid from two sides of the road for joe. normally gangbangers will only take up one side, but this is joe we're talking about here. he is the ghetto angel, he is sivaji the boss. homies will kiss his feet before going home to kiss their wives on the lips.

another viewpoint we could take is that his homies would throw their best words all around fiona just to get her to fall in love with joe. would your homies do that? of course they would, before fucking her on your birthday, in your car they borrowed and promised to fill up with gas afterwards (they won't). nothing doing for joe though, joe is the sweetness of sugar and honey. without joe there would be no cadbury's and coke.

if you've seen the video you would notice the trademark dance. the slow whatever you call it to the side to the front whatever. this is the true mark of an effective pop song, a dance attached to it. but when you think about it, how many slow songs have a trademark dance attached to it? this further establishes the fact that joe was dropped straight from heaven. and the fall didn't affect his face one bit, it's still as handsome and innocent as johny depp as a baby.

sigh.

anyway i just ran out of ideas, lemme just get to the point.

joe is a metaphor for me. and the 'me' that i use to compare with joe is not me 'me'. it's a metaphor for someone else who's a loser.

so ladies, you know what to do. my number is seven three uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

cawl me yaw.