a lotta people bite their nails whenever they're anxious or nervous, including me. but those are not the only activators of mine. sometimes it's triggered by nonsensical happenings like i dunno, like if i just saw a chick with a reasonable sized boob passing by. or when i'm looking out of the window from a bus (hoping to luckily catch some chick giving fellatio while her dude is driving) or something.
i have a chronically intermittent relationship with a book, or books for that matter. infact, to further put it into perspective, i have a chronically intermittent or perhaps virtually non-existant relationship with anything at all that requires a certain respectable level of attention span. when you were a kid they showed you 3-hour epic movies and black and whites. as you slowly grow up they slowly feed you more and more formulaic hour and a half movies with the same pattern over and over again. conditioning accomplished! but you can't kill my imagination though! it is the imminent result of years and years of hard work. get it? 'hard' work.
i am bad at vocabulary. sometimes it would take ages for me to recall a word that i would wanna use, that i have an idea of, but couldn't quite grasp what exactly. and while doing this i would be moving my hands around like a pissed off italian, or a rapper in the 90's, or an insecure hypnotist. as if the gratuitous and erratic movement of the hands would prompt my brain signals to do the same and scatter around the mind in search of the holy grail of the moment. and i'm not talking about bombastic words, i'm talkin' bout simplistic elementary shit. and it's annoying. but that's what happens when you wank too much.
i think hollywood should make a movie about our nation's current political turmoil. and the ending to be some fight club twist shit. like our country does not actually exist. like we're all just imagining each other, and independence. we're still the brit's bitches. infact the whole world doesn't exist, we're actually aliens hallucinating. tripping out in a big ass space ship on some kind of alien mushroom shit. as we wake up were like 'dewd that was fucked up man'. no i'm not even talking about the movie anymore, i'm talking like reality, now, right now, you know. like we're aliens in space and shit, exploring and shit, taking mushrooms cause it's fucked up being in space all the time. like surrounded by fucking pitch black bullshit all the time. but as we sober up we find out it's not that bad in comparison. unfortunately this mushroom was picked up in some random planet, and its ambivalency is just fucked up and next thing ya know we're all back on earth, back to hallucination, and we can't fucking get out.
so we're stuck here on earth, with human bodies, and human fragilities, and human idiocies. living with people who don't know that they're actually aliens and are tripping over intergalactic mushrooms. fucking arrogant holier than thou bitches acting like this is all real. but we're stuck with them, so to get by we waste our days getting high on anything we could get our hands on like milk or music or cotton buds, helplessly trying to float our way through this torturous life like a dumbfuck ..and then blogging about it.
you know sometimes like when you're doing something you realize that you have to do it a certain way or at a certain time to get optimum results. it's annoying right? like fuck, i'm not in the right frame of mind to do this, i'm gonna suck right now. well actually that's all just bullshit, that's all in the mind, the fucking mind. all you have to do is say fuck that i'm gonna do this right now even if i'm not in the right ___ (i have a word for this but it's just not coming to me right now i'll fill it up later, and no it's not 'mood'). fuck it right! i don't give a fuck, fuck getting optimum results, fuck perfection it doesn't exist, i'm gonna do it and that's how it's done, and that's just that, fuck it. just come out all guns blazing, nothing to lose, balls out.
kick the door open and shake your balls. make it fucking rain. make it fucking rain testicle sweat. wet the world with your manly mandomary. make it fucking flood, the flood will break all barriers. grarkh. i'm coming through baby. with that good shit good shit. pulling my one eyed snake out and making it hiss fffffffffFUCK IT loudly, as loud as a chick trying to pretend as if that anal banging she's getting is not painful. and then do whatever you're supposed to do, and do your best knowing that that's enough.
anyway, there's this really funny quote from supa hans to mark upon seeing mark with one of those one nighter with a wheel typa bags in the latest peep show (season 5 episode 5):-
"you got a bloody suitcase on wheels, real men don't get the earth to carry their luggage mate, they carry 'em themselves.."