Monday, May 26, 2008

kl's extinguished

read only if you're high or have nothing better to do or is bored and want to be bored further out of spite.

mission - reach destination by 9:30am.

normal route would take around 45 minutes to an hour.

preparation would take around half an hour.

must be awake by 8:30am.

accidentally slept early while watching a movie. nice dreams.

woke up to pitch darkness. doomsday? no. blackout caused by an international superpower about to colonize every country possible before its rival does? no. well it was a blackout, the evening before i saw about 5-7 big ass fire-truck lookalikes with 'silent generators' tagged on 'em. i thought some shit was going on, like maybe a sabotage was about to take place in the country which was detected by a recon mission. better be prepared for war, i slept with my ak. my ak is my dick.

erm. back to reality, i opened all my curtains. assumed that the outside world won't be as dark as this room, my assumption was right, my ass was banging. although the whole street was disabled light-wise, there was some coming from the other side. reddish light, enough for me to see. it was 12 on the clock, for awhile i was like fuck, mission failed, then i was like, fuck me, it can't be this dark on a 12pm. it could be though, maybe the international superpower blacked out the sun. err, don't think so, if they even try, our well trained hadhari astronauts will use their varied "knowledge" of space to halt it.

12am, still early i'm fucked. i stayed put, watching the street, it was as if nobody was there. maybe i'm left alone in the world like will smith, except that i wrote my own rhymes, erm. too much thinking so i grabbed my handphone and turned it on. at this moment nothing or nobody could surpass the importance of my handphone, to shed light on a period of darkness, to be the jamban's lighthouse in the journey of ships sailing straight from my bladder.

phew, moments later, civilization comes rushing back, lights, fans, ac, pc and all that shit. but i'm left only with a primal need for sleep. which dissapointingly, i did not cater to. instead, i watched this 2001 movie visitor q which involved incest, abuse, lactation, necrophilia, murder, etc. it didn't make any sense at all, exactly what's needed for my current mindstate. invasion paranoia. which is why i grab my dick everytime i hear a helicopter passing by.

all i need is a scene involving nipples and squirty lactation to keep my paranoia at a controllable state.

and so i feel asleep as the movie ended.

woke up at exactly 8:30am with the alarm ringing furiously. decided i need maybe just a teenie weenie bit of more sleep. put the alarm at 8:35am.

5 minutes is just a non-blink of an eye.

but somebody please explain to me why i am suddenly in a full-length dream.

i instantly woke up and literally went 'fuck!' upon the first realization that even though a dream could span a few weeks it would last only maybe a few hours in reality-time, that dream which prolly only spanned a few hours couldn't have lasted for only 5 minutes. went 'fuck!' before looking at the clock, but upon viewing my 'fuck!' was validated. i was set-back about half an hour.

which meant i have about almost one hour to arrive. minus half an hour of preparation, that would make it half an hour to arrive. so i cut preparation in half. no obligatory morning shit today. i guess the stomach will have to be content with the feeling of urgency for maybe 4-5 hours. 15 minutes preparation. 45 minutes to arrive. 5 minutes wasted just going down and starting the vehicle. 40 minutes. 5 minutes to get out tha hood.

now if i go the normal route i would never arrive on time. so i decided to use a new route. this is a gamble because i have never gone to the destination using it, i have gone back using it before and that was swift, no guarantees the same result the other way around tho nuhmeen. my only concern was traffic jams. alas, there was none. a stretch of this new highway takes only 10 minutes from one end to another (i timed it this time), so give or take 15-20 minutes of getting to that highway and going from it to the destination.

fuck, i have arrived on time.

the best part of all this is that, i wasn't even supposed to arrive on time like that, i could've come later and it would've made no difference whatsoever, it was just a personal target.

in other words, nobody really gives a fuck anyway.

i am bored.

if my sub-gray-matter's calculations are correct, when i get married, i'm going to take a cab to the ceremony. alone. driven by a chatty cab driver. into a colourful jakarta looking place. with fireworks and everybody running around here and there dressed in red. the roads are narrow, winding, and not tarred. the cabby's invited to the meal.

and i have no idea why i took the taxi alone.

this explains perfectly why i have an invasion paranoia. or as they call it paranoia invasionia.

call indonesia, we need their help to recapture singapore!

call china and india and russia and germany etc, we need manpower, infrastructures and weapons.

call thailand, we need elephants and beautiful women.

call canada and mexico, we need to launch opportunistic attacks upon news of an invasion underway.

guess who's about to invade.

argh. those helicopter or small private plane noises. argh.

call a cab, i need a lift to heaven. i'll pay as much as i can.


Hafiz said...

wut a mindfuckz

Pourpres~ said...

obligatory morning shit! ahahhahaha i lyke

penyangak said...

oh hai hafiz the invite only blogger wtf dawg wut a frenz.

pourpres you likes obligatory morning shit? well it's okay but sometimes (especially after nasi lemak) it makes you skip classes in school and get threatened by your english teacher and throwned out the class.

Hafiz said...

aku dah delete blog aku ah.

ni blog baru,