the ritual

i guess if you're doing work at home, the safest choice for winamp is r&b or good old malay ballads/rock kapak.

listening to jazz is a no-no. i don't mean michael buble norah jones jazz are those jazz anyway, ok safe jazz maybe. i meant like wanking jazz, like some miles davis or coltrane or shit. it can fuck up your heartbeat pattern and in turn fuck up your work.

it will bring you to dark places. and you can't do work in dark places cause like duh, it's dark, there's no light, duh, how am i supposed to do work.

not that i'm doing work or anything, just a thought. i mean jazz music has a very fucked up stream of tempo/beat, it could switch at any time whereas r&b for instance has the same bpm the whole fucking song. so it doesn't attract too much of your attention and as you slowly get deeper into your work it creeps into your subconscious and stays there and doesn't bother you too much.

i might be doing something that's good for the advancement of my artificial career part of life soon. i don't know if it's a good thing or not, cause i'm just one of those dudes who doesn't give a fuck about the world. i see through form, structure, protocol, and civilization. i see through all that and all i wanna do is avoid it. i wanna be free from all that. but if i was i would amount to nothing. and this is a nothing i can't avoid because all of that is what determines what's nothing and what's something and the something that i could achieve from not heeding all that does not exist cause i am where all that rules.

i prefer doing something that doesn't require much thought, or like/love, and get paid for that. but no good opportunities just yet. so those are just side shit. for now.

maybe i should be an actor. i act so good up to the point i'm given a chance to move up in the artificial career part of me. i'm sorry (to some people) but it was all an act. the real me is a formless arsehole. hoping that when i die i get sent to heaven. i'm sorry atheists and nihilists, you dewds are cool but your beliefs of what happens afterlife is mostly dull. i prefer to believe in heavens, and fucking angels, with wings the size of a fucking planet. i have made my choice to believe in what some people might perceive as fairy tales, so fucking what.

i wanna be sent to heaven. so i could chill and not do all these humanly bullshit born from civilization. maybe i should have been a gorilla, fuck all day. then die and get sent to heaven, but then again i wouldn't have the right brain cells to enjoy more shit. maybe i could be given a human brain when i get to heaven. and the body of a human. or what i am now. from a gorilla. to me. and in heaven. i will fuck all day, drink cunt juice from the cunt river, all day. get sent to earth so i could have an adventure but with superpowers straight from a higher being.

i rule T_T

btw, that fucking IRON MAN was crack! it was the fucking shit. robert downey jr. is fucking dope. that iron man armour, that is sex in armour form, i would love to rub my cock against it, all day long baby. i watched that shit at 2am in the cinemas, and i was sleepy as fuck, coupla times i dozed off unbemeaningfully but woke up in a jolt when the iron man armour was onscreen, INSTANT BONER! it was dope okay. simple ass comic book movie. i think along with batman begins, the best comic book movies so far. fuck spiderman. eat a dick cookie emo fag. go fucking rip off an umbrella and parade it around times square you dickwad.