Saturday, August 29, 2009

CRPM Condemns 'Cow Head' Fiasco

PUTJARAYA, August 29 - The Chief Rocka Prime Ministah today offered a wary perspective on the shameful "cow head" incident.

Yesterday, a small mob of angry appropriately dressed men threatened bloodshed over the relocation of a Hindu temple into a predominantly Malay neighborhood.

What was originally a peaceful demonstration almost turned riotous as protesters started spitting and stamping on the severed cow's head. The frenzied crowd only stopped short of putting it on fire as doing so would cook it and this could disrupt them from functioning properly as they were fasting.

The Chief Rocka Prima Ministah said today that he was bewildered and ashamed by what he deemed as disgusting behaviour.

"As we prepare for Merdeka celebrations with my 1Malaysia campaign in hand, this sort of thing just you know, spoils shit."

He also called for investigations into the demonstration techniques of the energetic group now known infamously as "Head Bull".

"First of all, what would something like that achieve? We're all grown men here, a simple memorandum or face to face talk would have sufficed. In fact, if I was to be involved and had no other choice but to go the severed animal head route, I would have gone with the mastermind of the temple's relocation waking up to a bloody horse head on his bed... GODFATHER STTYLLLE .. Nahmsayin'?"

When asked to comment on what further actions will be taken by the authorities, Dato' Seri explained that Malaysia is a multiracial country and we all must live in harmony. He also expects the opposition parties not to start politicizing this issue and making a big deal out of it.

"I mean, Anwar's got his sodomy trial accusations and whatnot, that poof, shouldn't that be the bulk of his worries?" He said.

"Chinese, Indians, they're all humans. When my ancestors welcomed them as they arrived on a boat, who would've expected the immigrants overstaying their welcome and start being involved with our economics and politics and shit. But that's all in the past, we're all okay now. Hey I wouldn't mind tappin' some of that non-Malay meat myself brotha. And if that ain't proof nuff that we multi-racially cool ... bitch I don't know what is."


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