malingsia vs. indon and 1malaysia

i've heard some shit about anti-malaysia shit and shit, you know indonesia vs. malaysia. oh yeah it's on, dong.

let's say if indonesians wanna throw down with us, i think they'll have to think twice, and we have to think thrice.

they have to think twice cause over here we have gyms and shit, we have like an army of asian vin diesels boutta flex and hustle like for real homie. other than gyms, we also have food, yes, plenty of that, majority of 'em fast and fatty. we have an army of o-beasts bout to get it in, we bout it bout it nahmean, like it's grrrindtime and we all up in this biatch. like for real we get in there and bring the ruck like buck buck buck all up in ya biznatch. bow!

on the other hand we also have to think thrice cause although those indo muhfuckuz are skinny as shit they also fear nothing. i once saw this indo construction worker, he was eating his lunch on this big fucking crane:


he was standing on one foot balancing himself on the tip of the highest point of that shit. he wasn't scared of shit, he didn't have no safety harness, he didn't need no fucking parachute all he had was lunch and his balls. he was humming cintaa taakkk kaaruaaan biikinn peeenaasaraaannn while rendering the big fucking crane his honorary bitch. i was in indonesia once and i saw this indo dude swimming in volcano lava and shit, he was doing it freestyle and breast stroke, once in mid-backstroke he decided to dive like olympic dive but instead of climbing onto a platform he climbed onto a mountain of frozen lava and jumped down. after tiring himself out from his own sheer rambo-ness he dragged his awesome body into one of the lava ponds and chilled out like this:


jacuzzi style except the bubbling water was not water but fucking skin peeling hot as hell lava and his bitch wasn't a blonde but a dragon. yes, a fucking dragon the size of a boeing 747 which flew straight from inside the volcano.

you've seen those indonesian black silat shows in which the dude starts stabbing himself and nothing happens right? and then bats come out his mouth. well fuck me when i was in indonesia cause i saw one dude stab himself with the drill from g.i. joe and then batman came out his mouth. fuck me my dear. fucking batman the size of christian bale came out his mouth and fucked off back to the batcave to buttfuck alfred.

i guess we have to think more than thrice afterall. don't mess about with those indonesians, they crazy.

but of course we also have yours truly penyelamat dunia who could summon both the forces of holiness and unholiness and deliver sheer grimlocking devastation to anyone who dares to enter, this center, sonnn. but he, who is me is on the indonesians' side. cause when they were colonized their colonists fucked them a lotty lot and so they have produced more mixed-bred beauties than we have and i would never do anything to jeopardize my chances with 'ems hot as fuck albeit slightly moustached chickadees. HELLLLLLLLLLS TO THA NO my melayu NO, fuck you melayu, and malaysians too for that matter.

speaking of which, 1malaysia. you see to fully achieve 1malaysia, we have to understand where we come from. in order to unite all races we must know each race. let's do this one by one.

lain-lain - either some fuckers who were originally here before some indonesian badass came and started stamping his shit and pissing territorially on this land or some fuckers who get drunk and know how to use frogs productively.

indians - there are two types, those that guard buildings and tell melayu fuckers to fuck off if they're being rude and tell them how fucked up their race is like in those p. ramlee movies and there's the other type of indians who are really good at talking on the phone and can slide below a lorry riding a horse.

chinese - i believe they're aliens.

malays - generally brown people. you could say they're a cross between early humans and not so early humans with a mix of those aliens (i believe they're called chinese people), if you believe in evolution. if not these fucking malays are just easily a fucking "rojak" (mixed up) race. i once saw a jackie chan looking dude and started speaking mandarin to him and before i could notice that jackie chan speaks cantonese he said in malay i don't understand i'm malay lah kawan. so i said in basic malay that i'm an alien and i'm here to take your land. of course i myself am not chinese, i'm raceless, i was just talking shit. he simply told me he could handle it as long as i "belanja" (treat) him well. ha, you dirty malay biatch.

anyway, the conclusion and the solution is malays are already the perfect race for this country to represent 1malaysia. so send the indians back to india, send the chinese back to whichever planet they came from, and just pile up the lain-lains and hide them down an underwater cave below some giant river or something. takkan melayu hilang di dunia.

or if you don't approve of this idea JUST FUCKING SIMPLY STOP BEING IRONICALLY RACIST FAGETS SCREAMING 1MALAYSIA WHILE YOUR OWN FUCKING POLITICAL PARTY IS 1MELAYU MORE THAN ANYTHING ARGKH GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGKH I'M HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD I CARE ABOUT FUCK ALL ELSE SO IGNORE ME I'M NOT DRUNK I'M JUST LIKE FUCK ALL Y'ALL.

now where is cosmic beauty i need to get mellow.