TV Talk About Radio

What is wrong with this world, two of my favourite TV series, or prolly best generally - House and The Wire, they both have british actor as the leading character/asshole, House has this guy, and The Wire has this guy.

They're both so good at accents they can carry the US accent very convincingly and when called upon in the series to mimick a limey accent as a US citizen - they do it badly, get it, a US citizen mimicking a limey accent and sounding like an asshole.

Also, not forgetting the coolest character with the coolest dialogues in the whole wide world, Al Swearengen from Deadwood. At first I thought he was a US actor who can do a mild limey accent and is blessed with a script full of british humour, then I realized I had the internet and thus am able to do some mild research, he is played by this guy, a fucking brit. Fucking cunts, arsehole, arseprick.

I'm currently watching House as it goes. But this month alone, I've finished all fucking three seasons of The fucking Wire, it is so fucking sick I went non stop with it, stopping only to get out of the house to get some air. Now I need the fourth season, I've stopped going to the pirate, I don't think it's still out in pirate land yet, so I'm trying to download that shit. Man it is so sick I'm gonna write about why it is the shit.

Why The Wire is the shit

• Season 1 has a real cool theme song (A nice remake of Tom Waits' way down in the hole)
  
  
• The arsehole leading actor cop fucks anything that moves and goes about his job like he owns the fucking police department and doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything other than pussy, beer, and police work
  
  
• The conflict in the drug gang - between two leaders - the old school gangbanger and the business-minded fuck, the business-minded fuck being one of my favourite characters
  
  
• The lesbo cop is cool
  
  
• The old cop who does miniature doll furnitures to kill time is cool
  
  
• The earlier story about the guy in dilemma between gangsterism and straightism was nice
  
  
• At one point in season one some random dude in the background shouted "Wu Tang killah bees"
  
  
• Method Man was featured in season two and three, and I think the Onyx guy was some insignificant muscle who got punked by Omar
  
  
• Omar (Every drug dealer's nightmare) is the muthafucking shit, even tho he's a faggot, yes a real one, and no he's not a cop, he robs drug dealers
  
  
• The port union story in season 2 was pretty nice even tho it started quite slow
  
  
• How the cops had to manouvre between having fucked up equipment and fucked up career police politics was pretty cool
  
  
• Dialogues are cool, realistic, funny, wokeva
  
  
• The lieutenant is cool
  
  
• How the series started by focusing on one gang, then it evolves into paying attention to the other gangs, from the old school ones to the new school with this one young'n bad cold muthufucka by the name of Marlo
  
  
• The fucking sex scenes, and how they go about them, like my favourite was this one where Jimmy (The arsehole cop) was drunk as fuck, ends up in a diner, waiter comes, he looks at the waiter *ZAS* AHHA hhahhh fuck scene
  
  
• The "Fuck" scene, where Jimmy and his old partner Bunk was checking a murder scene, and all they muttered for 5 mintues were variations of "Fuck"
  
  
• The dialogues between them blacks didn't annoy me, they were really cool, or maybe just because it was near NY, seriously ebonics usually annoy me for some reason, but these negros were cool as fuck with it, numsayin
  
  
• AND FUCKING OTHERS ETC., fuck it I hate making lists on the top of the dome, fuck

Okay that's done. Why do I love House? Cause of House, he's a cool muthafuckah. Anyway about Deadwood tho, I kinda left after season one cause I hate cowboys but if there's one reason to see it, it's Al Swearengen, his fucking dialogue.

Back to The Wire, it's a pity that it's not so popular and well promoted as much as Grey's Anatomy, everyone seems to like that show, okay I admit I watch it too, but compared to shit like House and shit, it's fucking shite. They have one good character, that Alex fuck, but he has as much screentime as a monkey in One Tree Hill. And how annoying is that nerd fuck in One Tree Hill? What the fuck? What happened to nerds? Nerds used to be cool. Argkh fuck it, fuck the world like 2pac.

And The Wire prolly has the largest cast of good black actors. Seriously, these muthafuckaz can fucking ACT.

Something Strange Happens

Damn I can't believe I've been chatting with some of my friends for hours, looked at the clock - 3:10 AM. I had a long day, went out to eat at a very tacky place, even sitting down looking blur required energy. It's a windy early morning, it rained during the evening, now it's just cold and wet, I opened the windows, letting some air in - no way, close it - the wind is way too chilling, giving me unnecessary goosebumps. My arms are sore from slothing through the traffic jam on the way home from junction to junction, traffic jams at 10 PM, my muscles weren't prepared for it hence the extra tiresome effect. Oh well, maybe I should stop chatting and just lay on the bed to enjoy one of the dvds from yesterday's dvd rampage. But there's something discomforting about this night, a strange feeling, the same feeling you get when you're all alone in a big mansion working on a novel in the attic, a big tree within window view, wind blowing as if for no reason at all. I don't know, I opened the door, checked the study - my sister has already stopped chatting.

I guess I should switch off the wireless router, keep it fresh for the next broadband session, it's always good to not let your cheap ass appliances catch heat. Okay then, turn off the lights, put on a dvd, maybe a light comedic heartwarming movie to even out the chilly atmosphere of nature outside.

.....Okay this movie's not bad, but why the sad ending? I hate sad endings, I'm the type of guy who strongly feels that art is escape from reality, and in reality, I hate sadness, oh well I've been watching too much Hollywood I guess.

*Knock*Knock*

There's a knock on the front door, oh well I'm too lazy to get up, but no one else's downstairs. After much hesitation I headed to the front door during which I realize why would someone knock on the door when the gate is high and definitely not left open and we definitely have doorbells?! I panicked......Be cool you're a guy, it could be a family member for some odd reason, be cool, it could be an emergency, it could be a guy with a bloody head and one of the arms swinging around as it was out of his control since it was bitten off by the houndaifnhakSTOP okay be cool, open the door slowly.....

No one was there, I panicked again, I've heard such stories in my hometown of people getting heavy banging on the door and no one there when opened. But this was a light knock, I closed the door. However curiousity can sometimes overcome fear, maybe one of my socialite friend back from the club is pulling a prank on me. I waited for a while... 5 seconds........ 30 seconds..... I opened the door with one swift swing, a white object flies away from the door.

I hastily chased it. It was a piece of paper with something written on it :

Dear next door neighbour,

i know we don't talk much only the occasional smile or nod of the head, but i have always appreciated this one luxury you have always provided for me, you bless me with this one thing forbidden in my house as my parents see it as the devil. see i have a long distance girlfriend who i love so much and would never think of neglecting, i don't want to lose her, never! she needs my attention, and there is not one event better in my days than speaking to her, but since the world is not flat and her timezone is different i have had to wake up at unfortunate times to gain access to communication with her, and i understand u need to sleep and all, but i hope it's not rude of me to ask that you leave on your wireless router for a while longer, maybe u can let it rest when u're executing your morning urinatings since i'm pretty sure i'm cool by then, i usually only need a few hours with her on msn, usually around 4AM - 9AM. i sincerely hope u will think about this, thank you dear neighbour, smile or nod of the head to you later.

PS : Plz fix the doorbell, I nearly scratched my balls climbing your thief hating gate. ok byez


*I dedicate this entry to all wireless broadband parasites out there. WsffasaKUhgka.

Kopek Meme Besor

Ah fuck it, props to mr malay male for tagging me with a MEME, let's go

1. Who the fuck cares?
Tree huggers, hippies and PETA dicksuckers, they care about everything, even animals *gasp*

2. All I got from the NEP is a free bag of manure.
Pickup a fine lady, spread a plastic sheet on your bed, to be continued.

3. How much wood would Lee Kuan Yew chuck if Lee Kuan Yew could chuck wood?
He's chinese right? He won't be chucking wood, that's for indians and malays.

4. Who's sitting under the apple tree? No one else but me. Who's sitting under the apple tree? No one else but me.
"Fuck you hasselhoff" - The Saurus

5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Haha just kidding chickens are too stupid to know there's an other side.

6.What do you get when you cross KJ and a piano?
One midget fucking a pony, and another one fucking his ass.

7. Who the fuck are you?
A god fearing barbarian.

8. Fuck you.
How uncivilized of you to use such words oh survey or meme, wuteverr.

9. I want a Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba sandwich. With cheese.
Pizza Hut won't see this mozzarella fuckfest coming.

10. If you find out that you're going to die in three months and suddenly those three months are up and you're dead and went to Hell, where would you go?
Well, I'll go to hell, give satan a two weeks notice, get the fuck out, get back to earth, go back in time and invent blogs.

Shopping Complex

I walked into the elevator with a friend on the way to my room, the elevator rumbled for a while as if malfunctioning, it was then released underwater. A big magnet pulls the elevator its way and we arrive at the main entrance to a heavily guarded underground apartment. In my room a few of my other friends are already there, they have just finished performing music somewhere and I was unable to attend, I kindly let them stay in my room but they will go back to wherever they came from after their last show on sunday which I hope will allow my attendance although it was most unlikely as somehow I felt like I had something to do on that day. The pretty lady who walks the corridor is the caretaker of the apartment - manager, guard and maid. She walked into my room and cleaned the fan, she looked at me, smiled and explained that my friends had asked her to clean it. Unable to think of a quick witty pickup line as I was attracted to her, I resorted to telling her that she could be my housewife, this could be subtle sexual abuse to some, but she just smiled and resumed cleaning the classic fan, why would I need such a home appliance in this day and age when we have far advanced methods of cooling, I wouldn't know as it came with the room rental package.....TO BE CONTINUED.

31 OGOS

Is obviously the EPL transfer deadline, come on Bayern, don't be an asshole, sell the bitch already.

Leave Your Wine

Man Utd is trying to buy Hargreaves, cool.

I'm nearly finished watching my MIND YOUR LANGUAGE collection DVD. You 90s kids might remember this British sitcom being re-run, fuck it I didn't even know this was a 70s show, it's not even dated, you can easily observe most contemporary stupid American instant templated comedy movies trying to imitate its concepts.

However, while when I was a kid I just simply digged it's jokes, the Italian guy's man's man coolness (The curly hair will tell you something is amiss about the rebonded Italian football team though), and Danielle. Now, watching it as an adult (Or basically someone with a brain slightly more developed than a little kid) I realized something I've never realized before. The message. Yes. The hidden message is, if we're all stupid, naive and just naturally good hearted the world would be a safer place. Look at those fucks, they're fucking stupid, not in a George W. Bush way, that's not stupid, that's dumbfuckingdumb, in a, mmmmmmmm, YEAH! HOMER sort of way! Duhh, definitely, they're stupid yet sometimes they say things that stand up comedians waste a lot of coffee just to come up with.

And as amazingly stupid as they are they just don't give a fuck, they're just happy that way, they make fun of everything, the only smart among them is the teacher, and he's a convert himself, seemingly comfortable with the way things are, and alarmingly laidback considering the amount of progress (Or decline) Of his students' knowledge of English recorded since the class first started till the end.

Their accents accentuate just how fucking different they are from each other, racial stereotypes are insulted on an minutes' basis, a few of the students are mortal enemies among themselves, the Chinese girl keeps fucking over every fucking Capitalist she knows or discover, yet they miracufuckinglously get along like Jay and Silent Bob. Is this that ever so elusive type of irony that we as human beings have failed to adopt? Is this that ever so rare type of ignorance that we have failed to embrace? Am I asking these ever so well-constructed questions because I genuinely don't know or because I just want to point out that as humans, we're pretty much fucked up.

Why can't we all just make fun of each other, piss each other off, fight over trivial things like football clubs and women with each other, then go to the bar with each other to shoot darts AT THE DART BOARD and have a good laugh together.

Just kidding, that's never gonna happen, fuck you Anti-Christ.

Okay so Hargreaves, yeah I'm quite happy, he's an underrated player as is Michael Carrick, he's been played out of position and being criticised because of it, just give him that DM place already. I'll be glad to have him in Old Trafford, he'd be a Phil Neville sort of figure who'll run as fuck everywhere to get the ball and then Carrick can distribute it to the right areas and fuck up defences. I hope we get him. Cross ya balls homes.

And the late Barry Evans is just adorable as the English teacher. And Danielle is not as hot nowadays, maybe I had different tastes as a kid, maybe nowadays I'd dig the German chick more, what am I talking about here, Whawuahkhguehga.

Por favor? When that Spanish dude says that it just always gets me, wakuheghahukga, ahhh sawwrightt.

Hmmmmmmmmm, and fuck all this political correctness bullshit, get that wood out ya splintered asses you p.c fucks. Peace.

Tyronnosoros

Sempena Lina Joy melanguk kat tagboard aku aku nak cerita pasal kes Lina Joy, oh ye aku tak tahu apa-apa pun pasal kes tuh, tapi aku rasa memang lancau hukum Melayu = Islam nih, apa lanchau? Shows you how much balls Muslims have, near to none, if you have so much faith in your own beliefs why the fucking paranoia? Why do you need to force shit into people's throats, yeah, balls, have it. It's stupid, tunjuk sikit dalam Al-Quran atau Sunnah yang certain race kena masuk agama Islam teros masa lahir pastuh tak leh tukar sampai bila-bila, kepala lanchau, asal takut sangat orang nak masuk agama lain? Kata berani kerana benar, apa nak takut? Nak orang jadi Muslim pasal terpaksa ke orang jadi Muslim dengan ikhlas, dah lah lanchau racist, apa lanchau melayu bagus sangat ke, melayu nih penyakit, ataupun cult, apa-apa pun aku tak tahu ah, memang penyakit, minah tuh nak masuk Kristian biar ah dia, suka hati dia ah, maybe Muslim keliling dia macam sial dia macam what the fuck is this, baik aku jadi Kristian, lagi baik dari dia jadi munafik apa, what the fuck, idiots, tunjuk sket kat mana cakap dia tak leh keluar Islam sebab dia melayu, tunjuk sikit kat mana cakap orang murtad kena bunuh. Aku bukan menggalakkan murtad, tapi pada aku lagi bahaya munafik a.k.a hipokrit, orang agama apa pun, tak kesah agama apa, kalau dia baek dia memang baik, orang Muslim sekalipun, kalau dia macam puki, memang dia macam puki, puki bai cibai bai bai lanchau chau ok byez.

Parrots

Just wondering why geckos (Cicaks) in the thrash compartment of my house are always of the coloured kind, while the ones in the house are of the caucasian kind. As the boy of the house I'm always assigned to throw thrash out and everytime I open the door of the thrash place there would always be one or two geckos runnin' away and from my experience since I was a kid, they would always be either of the black or brown coloured ones. Is this some kind of social commentary shit the geckos are pulling on us or are they still practising apartheid. Whatever it is I surely hope their Mandela stays in prison cause as much as I fear geckos, I'd rather only the white ones be inside and the coloured ones, yo, please stay outside, thank you. I'm not being racist, I'm talking about geckos here, hello, I'm brown myself, I bet if I was a gecko I'd scare the shit out of humans. Peace.

Smart Never Relevant

here, READ THIS

A quote :-

Syed Ahmad Johari, a public school teacher, who wears a serban and also dons a jubah (robe), said he would discuss with his lawyers the probability of taking the matter to the Syariah Court.

“Although it is a defeat for me, it is a victory for Islam because this issue has been brought to the highest court of the land. At least, the public would be aware of it,” said the 48-year-old father of six sons aged nine to 18, who all came to court together with turbans.

And I say, what the fuck? Who the fuck are you to represent Islam?

No, this is a defeat for Islam, and a victory for FASHION STATEMENT, so fuck off holy one, fuck the fuck off.

I wouldn't mind if they were fighting for rights to pray at school, THAT would be a fight for Islam, but this petty bullshit, why don't y'all take off the turban, and use the money you would spend to buy it in the first place to donate to the plight of Palestinians or something, I'm not saying y'all don't donate, but maybe you'll get a few more ringgits more by ignoring fashion and those few ringgits will fucking COUNT, fucking believe me.

Fucking idiots. I love Islam. I just fucking hate a lot of Muslims, maybe we should start converting Jews into Islam, them are some fucking smart peoples.

A Tribute To ZIZOU

As a tribute to one of the best human to ever lay his kicks on a ball I will synchronize my post with the title, just for you Zizou.

I can just imagine what he's thinking around the 80th minute of his last match evva - "Trezeguet's a slow fuck, we're not gonna win this match, the fucking Italians are gonna defend their balls off and take it to penalties, and they're gonna win cause taking a penalty with Barthez defending the goalpost is no different than taking a penalty with a can of WD-40 placed in between the goalposts, all you need to do is act like you put in effort kicking the ball so as not to offend the skinhead, all's well end's well for them Italians, so I'm gonna be remembered as the fuck who played well but lost to the fucking Italians, I'm not taking this shit"

...

"Man stop fondling my nipples, piss off, what the fuck you saying? No I don't understand your language, you palm tree fuck stop mumbling, what the fuck are you saying, *Smiling* Can you believe this guy? What the fuck is he bitching about? What a funny sounding language, pizza crafting fuck, I'm not taking this shit..."



Zizou : THE ULTIMATE LEGEND

"I'm not taking this shit".

"Italy won the World Cup" "What? Whatever, ZIZOU! ZIZOU! ZIZOU!"

Circular Motion

I think I would make a very bad tourist guide. "Oh, there's a lot of good stuff in Low Yat and Sg. Wang, I used to live in the south, JB, over there the piracy is also very very good, errrr I mean bad, hahaha", "There's the zoo, but the zoo at your place is probably much better", "Well except the beaches, there's nothing much here for tourists, there's loads of shopping complexes though". But whether you like it or not, the best tourist attractions in Malaysia are the beaches, the piracy, the rempits at night, err and whatever else, don't you think they should advertise rempits in brochures, I mean come on, they are a sight to behold, allthough they do piss off us drivers, but nobody's perfect. Oh! and there's also the kids on scooters, I don't mind kids on scooters, but there's this particular street in hartamas where a stadium full of them just sit down and look bored, maybe if they do that long enough someone will give them money to buy something at burger king thus having a purpose in life.

I don't know, I'm not one to judge.

Then there's also the MRR2, what a sight to behold! If I'm not mistaken visiting hours is 9PM-6AM. To those not in the know, MRR2 is also known as "The Big Tease", after making us sweat and curse for a few years, we finally get to fuck it with the promise of more fucking till at least 20 years in which we might need to find something younger and less bitchy about being fucked f.o.c, wrong, a few years and the bitch decides she's not fit for fucking and needs, no not a makeover, but a few prosthetics just to keep her legs from falling apart while she spreads them muthafuckaz again, so this hard dick in desperate need of some MRR2 lovin' has to be put on hold for a while, down boy down. Man fuck this, give me a hot slut whore like LDP anyday.

I'm straying off topic.

The World Cup has ended. The best match was the England Portugal one cause it had balls being stomped, I wouldn't encourage testicle stomping, but this was a Chelsea player getting it, it's okay Carvalhoe, you can check with your gaffer back at the EPL, he might have some extra balls to give away, I've seen him spit them out effortlessly in press interviews. And Beckham giving up the captain armband is not something I would like to read in yesterday's paper, it's something that's due years ago, you cannot ever make a metrosexual captain of a football team, give 'em to testicle stompers, fuck England, boring. Argentina was out early too, pity the coach made two of the most costly bad decisions in his life, I mean he built a great team. Props to Germany, I used to hate their boring asses, but you have to appreciate their art when handling calculative shits like penalties, I mean I know another boring team that knows fuck all about that art, and they have a soulless silicone hoe-fucking captain too.

I support Man Utd, as you all know, and as all you "True" football fans detest.

But fuck Ronaldo, the bitch wants to run, fine, sell him for a fucking fortune and get some muthafuckaz who can actually play (Ribery? Mascherano? Torres? Why Fucking Not?) football without having bad skin complexion, stupid looking gel heavy hairstyle, running like he's on a treadmill with not enough rubber, cries like a bitch when confronted by Ruud - who the fuck would cry because of Ruud other than to stop from laughing at the odd construction of his facial bone, does stepovers that could very well prove fortune tellers might not be lying when they say they can predict your future as everyone seem to know he's going to do it before he does, shoots the ball over the bar at every given chance allthough this could very well just be nitpicking as like everyone of you males I am also aware of the WC statistical wonder that is Lampard, did an ad with another "Skillfull" catastrophe - Ibrahimovic, dives like he was from Portugal, etc.

Go join Becks in the metro club, maybe the both of you can do your nails together, maybe you can learn to cross from him, maybe you can fuck Posh Spice with him, threesome, maybe you can do your nails with Posh Spice, maybe you can learn bad hairstylings from the master himself, maybe you can learn how to speak funny, maybe you can learn how to make millions of girls support your club for no reason other than your ugly metro ass.

Whatever it is, get a fucking plane ticket and fuck off cause Rooney and his Carval-hoeing boots are out for your balls nigz.

I've watched some interesting movies like say, American Graffiti, or A Fish Called Wanda, movies I've been wanting to watch for years, and a few more as well like say Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I want to write about them. Wkahrhkakghahkgahkga. Peace.

Scrambled Eggs

Iron maiden - killers (Live somewhere)

Huhu. What's better than Iron Maiden playing killers live? Another version of Iron Maiden playing killers live. Har har har di har.

Have you ever eaten a cheese sandwich, stared at a desk fan, and wondered what it would be like if someone put a cicak (Gecko) into the spinning blades. I did, before finishing the sandwich, I don't really like cheese sandwiches, but I was hungry.

Black Combs

Why don't you imaginary readers let Mr. Penyangak sidetrack a bit from his usual blogging topics so he could write about current affairs! Like when KL was dubbed one of the rudest cities. All if not a part of all I have to say is, rude = cool, ever seen the cartoon Rude Dog? The dog was cool, so why are you bitches whining? Man get with the times nigz. I'm socially awkward so sometimes I appreciate a saleshuman not bugging you too much, you came in to buy something, ask a few specific questions, get a few specific answers in flat monotone, buy that shit, say welcome, and get out of there, you dropped your papers, nobody is helping you pick 'em up, good, some say it's rude, some say it's letting people be independent, some say it's not being a busybody, some say it's not wasting energy, and I will always appreciate anyone who go out of their way to not waste energy, you walk into a lift or whatever, nobody smiles nobody says a thing everybody looks at exactly somewhere completely different from each other, no small talk, no nothing, you walk away happy and all smiley. Okay, I'm kidding, it breaks my heart to not get seven star treatment everywhere I go in the city :( just kidding. Rude drivers on the other hand, should be bullied by other rude drivers, sorry I should be more creative and bad ass, they should be.....Errrr....Blood....Human waste....Goree....Whatever. Peace.

Oats & Cereals

What cup gets a man's attention more than a C?! World, of course! Lame joke but if I actually gave a fuck that it was I wouldn't post it in the first place. Okay to the curious ones (Bunyik cengkerik dalam hutan), I support Argentina, not that I have anything against Brazil, but I grew up with two things :- Madonna, and Maradona. Plus, I was born in Argentina, just kidding. But spiritually I'll support any team that plays good attacking football. Argentina is the shit because of TEAMWORK, yes, I know there's no Argentina in Team, but err, yes they have great teamwork, and the passing is great, not to mention they have two maradonas in the subs cause they're not 100% fit (Messi and Tevez) Ready to fuck you up, I mean other World Cup teams. Okay that's all for now biatchez, peace.

Actually that's not all for now biatchez, unpeace, I kinda watched this Chris Rock sitcom in the plane and it was the shit! At last, a decent sitcom, it's kinda like wonder years meets negroness. I'm downloading season one as we speak. Peace.

I Am Obviously A Jock

What I want so badly right now - No, not an alligator that could take a piss standing up like the common male human or the occasional gifted female human, but jeah :- Elder Scrolls Oblivion

The last time I played a game in the Elder Scrolls series, I wasted half a day of my days, ignored nearly a hundred percent of my uni classes, forgot there's a world outside with actual people who don't carry battleaxes and have blue skin complexion, cursed my old pc and bought a new one......And other assorted self decaying qualities etcetra etcetra.

A lot of people tend to think RPGs = Final fantasy, not really, that's among loads of typical linear Japanese RPGs, I've never touched that - you're part of a storyline, Elder Scrolls is an open ended LOTR-injected RPG, where the storyline is just a canvas for you to fuck over thus making it "ROLE PLAYING" (For you kids think GTA with loads of customisable shit and a world influenced by LOTR, and remember LOTR existed way before the movie, I'm not saying I myself knew this cause I don't, apologies o' wise book pplz). The last one was Morrowind, it was amazing, it rekindled fond memories of losing sleep during school days over Ultima 7 (An old legendary D&D / LOTR influenced PC RPG game), but then Morrowind had a lot of flaws which were ignored due to the beautiful world bestowed upon the RPG nerd fluently caressing the mouse and keyboard.



After reading some reviews, like dayum, they rectified those flaws and made a much much much better game than Morrowind. Tak percaya? Check this shit out homes :-

• A compilation of review quotes from the official website


• GameSpot REVIEW

Orale carnal! To the boneesssssssss

So basically I'm fucked. I'm not much of a game player, I used to be because it was kinda trendy during those early IT days of this country, now I only pay attention to shit like GTA which is the shit, some football management games and currently I'm wasting precious time on stupid games like Street Soccer 2 on the PS2, and the PS2 is my sister's, I have a laptop that does not like to be played games on, before buying the laptop I didn't realize the heavy work I usually do on my old fucked PCs are not too applicable on the laptop, the laptop is for carrying around surfing internet on small tables at cafes with chairs not built for me. So basically I'm fucked (Ulangan), cause one weakness this game has is - It's double barrel machine gun + BFG on the other hand fucking graphic heavy, not that that's a bad thing to your senses, only to your reality - You're fucking poor and devoid of a dreamy game machine, I mean I'm.



I have two choices - Buy a desktop PC or buy the X-Box 360, I'm going to instantly denounce X-Box 360 (What an inappropriate use of the word denounce but it sounded cool) Since I'm not a hardcore gamer, and it wouldn't pay off as most games for shallow non-hardcore gamers with super attention deficit disorder and a hard-on for footie are on the PS2 anyway, so fuck the X-Box for now, The desktop PC would be nice since it's a multi-tasking muthafuckah, and I need to do a lot of work which requires the ultimate heat absorbing powers of a desktop PC, but that's just like, what, side shit, work only cover a teenie weenie bit of my life, even so, it's sharing a single bed room with studies, the rest is all FUN! Shying away from the real world FUN! Not showering in the morning FUN! Having a bedroom alter-ego FUN! Not having a material girlfriend FUN! Facing one way for hours FUN! Slashing crocodile + yeti hybrid monsters FUN!

Fun not usually associated with a perfectly normal socially adept human being.



My point is, if you have an extra 5K to give away, call me asap, tq ttyl ok byez.

(I also changed my header image, oh I also just came back from another country, oh and I also finally watched Gubra, good movie! Worth damaging a culture over, oopsie daisy).

Kura-Kura Ungu

I needz perempuenz.

Tepung Perisa Putih

Sempena semalam aku stuck dalam jam selama 2-3 jam di ldp aku teringat satu cerita masa aku kat j.b, aku tengah lalu jalan skudai tuh, sekali jam gila, aku dengan sorang member nih, so memang jam gila lah jalan tuh, tension nih.

Jadi aku dah macam "Something really really cool better be happening in front causing this jam, if not this stupid fucking jam won't be worth it", cakap b.i lah pulak, jadi maka, memang aku mengharapkan macam lori terplelanting pastuh dia macam cucuk jalan dan berdiri tegak, ataupun ada awekz eksiden, pastuh masa awekz tuh nak keluar dari kereta baju semua serentak terkoyak, teros tinggal baju dalam je, pastuh semua orang berhenti, takpun ada female nudist demonstrasi ke, takpun ada awek yang bogel tengah jalan tanpa sebab, bende bende mulia macam tuh ah, dan aku juga menambah yang "Aku akan bengang kalau sejam aku traffic jam kat sini, sekali tengok depan tuh polis ke jpj ke tengah buat road block, memang tak berbaloi, dan memang bodoh, tak praktikal, dan sangat inconvenient, serta tak berapa best yeehaa"

Dan setelah hampir sejam dalam traffic jam, aku sampai ke tempat yang menyebabkan jam.

Tak, memang bukan polis tengah buat road block, kalau tak, dah tentu aku bengang.

Ye, aku lagi bengang dari bengang.

Elok-elok aku sampai je kat tempat tuh, polis baru habis buat road block, dia tengah angkat angkat kon dengan slow motion. ARGKhhkgkhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Aku rasa kalau kena road block pun ada lah sedikit lapisan berbaloi walaupun sehalus kapas. Aku nak je keluar pastuh cakap kat polis tuh "bang tolonggglah tahan saya bang, tolonggggglah, kasilah berbaloi sikit saya tunggu berjam jam dalam jam nih, arghhhhhh tolonggg ahhhh tolongggg, tadi sambil drive saya main sms, pastuh pulak, saya pakai seat belt, tapi tak buckle, sebab tak muat, tolongggg ah tahan saya tolonggg ah, saya pemandu tak berhemah bang, kadang-kadang masa kat tol kat penchala link tuh, saya buat wheelie dua tayar, lepas tuh passenger saya keluar dan seret helmet dia kat lantai sampai berapi bang, tak caya saya buleh tunjuk sekarang, tapi kena amik step dulu ah, apa-apa tolonglah jadikan insiden trafik jam nih berbaloi buat saya"

Argkhhhhhhhh. Maghah, maghah.

Adventures Of A Plastic Bag

Why do I feel so vulnerable right now. What should I write about right now, what is happening to me right now. I'll try to write crappy shit while waiting for something to cross my mind, some shit, some shit. Hmm, what's the next best thing after having someone to love or being in love? not having someone to love and being hurt. Don't you think being hurt is a pleasure? Like dayum, man, imagine driving at night alone, with light and easy on your speakers, and thinking about how much of a loser you are, nothing beats that to me, for now, emotion is not a weakness, emotion is not an excuse to be uncool, look at blues musicians, they got the blues mayne, are they cool? Yes they are. Man United, maybe I should write about me clubz I support, maybe I'll write a season end review, maybe, maybe. The Joga Bonito ads are pretty cool, very cool, goosebumps, CLICK HERE BEYOTCSH nearly had tears in my eyes, especially with Eric Cantona hosting that shit, he's a cool fuck, why did I love footie so much when I was a kid? Maradona, why did I support Man Utd? Ryan Giggs, why did I like Ryan Giggs? Cause he can dribble like Maradona, why did I like Eric Cantona? Cause he's a muthafuckah, footie is full of character and flair and and and and and beauty, "Never grow up, my friend". I had a perfect childhood.

Childhood?

Yes. Not talking about that. I feel sedated today, don't know why. Someone asked me why I don't smoke last night, "I don't know". Truly, I don't know, I feel it's because everyday my parents pray for me to be protected from shit, cause see, I'm lazy and stupid, but I've gotten good grades in school, I have a degree, it doesn't match with my effort, AT ALL. I'd be nowhere without this life given to me, this perfect life, everytime someone or something gives me a reason to be down or emotional, ok byez this is boring personal shit, anyway, how's your day my friend? Pada pendapat aku, like getdayum, aku tengah berfikir pasal satu bende nih, satu bende nih, pasal semalam aku berborak dengan seseorang dengan sangat lama, tetapi apa yang aku cakap sewaktu berborak, tak seperfect apa yang aku patut cakap, apa yang aku fikir aku patut cakap sewaktu itu selepas waktu itu ada faham? Lepas tuh, tengah berak, terkeluar ayat-ayat yang patut aku cakap, yang lebih perfect, dan lebih meaningful, tetapi, tetapi, tetapi, ini berlaku semasa aku tulis lirik untuk lagu lagu rap, lirik yang lebih aku suka setelah sekian lama adalah lirik yang aku tulis secara spontan tanpa berfikir panjang, dan cuma letakkan saja perkataan demi perkataan on the spot, ataupun ditambah dengan ayat ayat yang aku terfikir time berak atau drive, bukan sesuatu yang dirancang yang penuh dengan perancangan yang lantang dan gampang.

Yeke?

Ha'ah. Dulu aku selalu fikir untuk lagu ini, aku kena construct betul betul, kena guna perkataan perkataan power nih, kena betul betul bla bla fuck off, tapi entah ah, maybe to be good, things are not required to be literally perfect, but worldly perfect. Tiba tiba masuk ayat b.i. Jadi berbalik kepada itu perbualan, mana yang lebih bermakna dan feel - benda yang kau cakap in the heat of the moment, benda bodoh tak bermakna yang kau cakap tuh, benda yang tak perfect, dengan susunan ayat tunggang langgang dengan "errrrr" dengan penuh pause untuk berfikir dan kau akan menyesal tak cakap secara lebih perfect, ataupun benda yang kau cakap setelah kau plan semua ayat perkataan demi perkataan, mana yang lebih best? Mana yang lebih best? Aku tak tahu mana yang lagi best sebenarnya, aku selalu terfikir pasal nih, erghhhhhh, aku akan cakap yang lagi satu yang best, yang spontan, sebab sebenarnya aku fikir pasal nih sebab aku nak sedapkan hati aku bila aku tak dapat luahkan apa sebenar aku nak luah dengan susunan ayat yang aku nak, jadi setiap kali aku cakap dengan penuh tak perfect, aku tak nak menyesal, buleh ke macam nih? Sebab apa patut aku pedulik, sebab, keupayaan untuk tak dapat berkata-kata apa yang sepatutnya kau perkatakan jika kau dah fikir apa yang patut perkatakan sehari lalu, itu semua agaknya adalah sebahagian daripada aku, ataupun perangai aku, ataupun, arghghghhgh what the fuck, nanti kat jamban masa tengah berak aku akan terfikir patut aku buleh tulis entry dalam blog ini dengan lebih perfect dan profound dan insightful sehingga membuatkan awekz awekz terbaca jatuh cinta, arghhhhhhhhh fucking, pendejo homes fucking maricon. Anyway.

Yes, anyway.

"WHATEVER" - Is a way of life.

Gangster Unit

Bosan, huhu. dimana dimana dimanaaaaaaaa. Aku nak tengok cerita Gubra ah tapi aku malas doh nak tengok wayang. Asal diaorang kecoh sangat cam dengki kat direktor tuh, siapa nama eh, siapa tah lupa. Sebab aku rasa kalau filem-filem P. Ramlee keluar zaman ini, mesti kena condemn dan di dengki macam kebanyakan filem-filem independen kat sini, direktor-direktor melayu redneck mainstream style movie cakap bahasa melayu yang aku tak pernah dengar member aku cakap kecuali secara tak serious semua mesti ingat diaorang memperjuangkan seni melayu, tapi sorry ah cibai-cibai sekalian, aku rasa semangat P. Ramlee ada dalam hati hati direktor direktor yang jujur, yang tunjukkan kehidupan sosial sebenar, yang ditindas oleh "Pejuang-pejuang seni" yang banyak duit dan buleh shoot dengan filem sesuka hati tapi gambar cam puki jugak, lagi lawa shot digital minah yang direct Sepet ngan Gubra tuh. Anyway, server the serrvanttsssssoh nooooo.

Lagi satu, budaya? Fuck budaya, itu je aku nak cakap. Deem me raceless. Ada berani bincang pasal Islam? Movie korang ada berani nilaikan dengan hukum-hukum Islam? (Nih pasal diaorang cakap movie Gubra rosak budaya, apa lanchau budaya, buleh bawak kubur ke?)

Asal aku marah dengan orang orang-yang aku tak kenal nih. Wkahrkauhkgaeggka. Manusia.

Dia Berkata

The Pharcyde - she said (DJ Premier remix) (LAYANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

See, I always use this temantapimesra term in convoz sometimez. So I read Judd explaining the term in his blog in detail. I actually have never heard the song nor know the meaning of the term. All this while I've always thought it meant fuck buddy, wahrkhahkga, thanks Judd, whoever you are, for clearing that up. However I wanna stay ignorant, so fuck buddy it is. Wakhrkahkahkga.

Am I mature? I like someone, but that doesn't mean you want that someone fuck everyone else she has, maybe it just means you want to know that someone better, if it was meant to be worry none me will be, it will be, this may be, the first time I feel and act this way, I'm so cool negro. Comin' through rocking cikickikickic wild like rock starsss who smash guitarrrs. Peace.

Maybe I Should Talk About My Life, Just Kidding, WTF?!?! Pok Pok Pok Bujang Lapok

I'm feeling reviewy right now. Let's see what I've been listening and watching to too.

Banging to what?! Oh yes, that day I walked while listening to the walkman for the first time in my fucking life

• Non Phixion - rock star - Provides me with one reason why you can't fuck with hip hop. One of the best beats Primo ever made


• P. Ramlee - aci aci buka pintu - This guy is twisted


• Thicke - brand new jones - He's white?


• Snoop Dogg feat. DPG and Warren G - ain't no fun - The reason why Snoop Dogg sucks now and why Kurupt should have been consistent


• Adam F feat. MC Conrad - f jam (vocal mix) - Some DNB to listen to before you sleep, chill that shit out


• Dillinja - go dillinja - Only drom n boise can make kentut sound cool


• Atheist - air VIDEO IN YOUTUBE! - Dayum, on some tight death jazz shit (Find that shit in youtube, you won't regret it)


• Mocca - life keeps on running - I saw Mocca in person! Fuck yeah, this song is groovy yet meloemotic, whateverthefuck that is


• Astrud Gilberto - a certain sadness - Obviously sad, nostalgic


• Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot - la madrague - Yes, is this jiwang or psycho? I'm not sure


• Rossa - pudar - Yes, I do like this song

What Have I been viewing??!?!?!?!?!?!??!

A Dirty Shame
This is not a movie, this is a straightup let's just fuck around on film without actually fucking around, it's pretty twisted.

Hotel Rwanda
Poor black people on some anarchic shit, I guess I'm attracted to this kind of scenario, partly because I can't relate, it's something very alien to me, you could say it's even sci-fi. This movie is about the Rwandan massacre, militant Hutus taking revenge on Tutsis, well not really, that's the setting, the movie is about a hotel manager who sheltered around a thousand of Tutsi and moderate Hutu refugees from the savage Hutu power brutal murderers. What I like about this movie is the hotel manager himself, Paul, he looks very conventional with his straight face and neat attire, but his type of heroism is indeed, very unconventional, instead of being superman and out of his way to save people, he just keeps doing what he is best at, a hotel manager, to save people, instead of fighting the system, he uses the system, to get what he wants, bribes, redeeming favours, anything at all to temporarily delay murder long enough for him to shame people into bringing them out of the place. And also not forgetting how it reminds you of how fucked up the world is, if Rwanda had oil fucking rednecks would go out of their way to shelter them muthafuckas.

Lord of War
This movie made me wanna dig back my City of God because of the lord of war's dealings with some poor black people from I forgot where, poor black peoples are so cool. This movie is just OK, gangstermovielite, with a setting I'm not familiar with but got used to pretty fast. Nothing standing out.

City of God
One of the best movies ever made. I read that from the dvd cover. It's not too often pirated dvd covers don't lie.

Barry Lyndon
Beautiful, but that's just it. It's Kubrick but I just didn't like this movie that much, not just because it unusually had less sex.

Sitcom
This is probably frenchmovielite, but it's still crazier than the norm, incest, bondage, all caused by a hypnotic mouse, you don't have to make sense to be french.

The Pianist
On some Nazi killing massive Jews shit. I kinda bought this movie because of Adrien Brody, I don't know why, he has some kind of British charm to his face, I don't know what race he is though, he's kinda like what Eric 70's show would look like if he looked good. The good thing about this movie is the fact that his acting was so effective he made my stomach hungry, after heavy dinner, and how he potrayed someone who seems to survive for no reason at all except for human instinct.

Hustle and Flow
Proof that it's not what you do but how you do it. This film is about an aspiring crunk rapper, but it was really good and inspirational, good leading actor too, but crunk is still like King Kong sound effects, too loudly annoying, I'll stick to deth metal thank you very much.

The Aristocrats
The aristocrats is a joke that can be improvised, it starts with a family going into a talent agency to showcase their show - Insert familial phuke inducing sex taboo infusing act like mom sucking dad's dick and dad fucking son's ass and daughter being fucked by dog - and ends with talent agent asking "What do you call yourselves".. "The aristocrats". Yes, the best version to me unsuprisingly was from my childhood hero Bob Saget "Child's eyeballs jumped out, the father with his cock out sees this as an opportunity" (Guess where it goes from here), there's also loads of other comedians with their own take and opinions on it. Huhu. And yes Bob Saget's one dirty muthafuckah, he probably groped the olsen twins when they reached 8 cause 8+8 = legal. Wakhrahkgkagkahga. I couldn't stand to watch a stupid home video show unless he's doing the crazy ass commentary. There's also this other funny one in which "A mother climbs a ladder, the son climbs on top of her, the father smokes cigar, puts it in the mother's asshole, the mother farts makes a ring out of smoke, and the son jumps down into the ring". There's the fuckable Sarah Silverman being fuckable, George Carlin being some kind of serious narrator, Eric Idle (Monty Python) in the DVD specials telling a very funny joke "A guy walks into a bar, another guy hits him on the head with a bottle, the guy asks "Was that a joke or are you serious?", the other guy answers "I was serious", the guy explained "Good, cause I can't stand a joke like that"". Wkahrkahghahkgahkga. Not consistently entertaining, but the certain moments from cult comedy figures are just priceless.

King Kong
Very loud. King Kong sonning the three t-rexes was the shit. The gorilla dick loving girl was CUTE as fuck. The Adrien Brody guy was very strange. King Kong will teach you one thing, true love is when you have made the girl stoop down to your lowly animalistic ways. I wanna be a gorilla, a real one, fucking everyday to get sedated, a true Gorilla, not on some fake shit like 50 cent.

Graveyard of Fireflies
One of the saddest movies I have ever watched. And it's a fucking cartoon!

The Man
Stupid template autopilot odd couple comedy shit with two good actors.

Fearless
Stupid template Jet Li shit. Okay it's not stupid, just mindless.

Prime
Okay romantic comedy. But still boring and unfunny. The hero, made out to be a funny type of guy, is not funny at all. But there was a part in the end, after they broke up, in which the guy saw the girl in the bar from the door glass pane, they stared eye-to-eye and their good memories flashed one by one, that was really beautiful.

Magnificient Seven
Autopilot Seven Samurai shit. But reminded you of the times when Americans were actually cool (There were such times, trust me), fucking cowboys, what's his name Steve McQueen, and Charles Bronson, and that guy who only had two lines of dialogue but the illest skills.

Bubba Ho-Tep
Bruce Campbell up in your muthafuckah. I digged his acting as Elvis. But this film lost steam towards the end

*Okay maybe I'll find pics of the movies later, not now, obviously it can't be now.

Hilang Rasa Jiwang Buat Sementara Waktu

Lama tak updet, rupanya memang betul masa bulan puasa tuh ajaib, setiap hari aku updet, like whoddy-who. Tengah boring nih. Sorang perempuan yang aku mencintai dan satu satunya mencintai yang juga ku gelar setan kecik aku jumpa kat friendster, pastuh ada kat msn aku dah, dia accept setelah setahun pending, wkahhrkakhhkga, percaya? Serious tak tipu, siapa kenal aku, serious aku cakap aku tak tipu doh, tapi dia ignore jelah kot. Macam tak betul sial, tapi betul, memang sial.

Eh, boring ah. Lagu-lagu tengah aku layan playlist ah lebeh kurang :-
The Who - la la la lies
RATM - wake up
Led Zeppelin - when the levee breaks
Beastie Boys - get it together
Pastuh album Remi Shand tuh
Pastuh apa tah, mm, album Serge Gainsbourg dengan Brigitte Bardot tuh, psycho!
Pastuh lagu apa tuh, entah ah

Aku tengah ketagih HOUSE nih, cerita best gila siak, cerita lain dah rasa cam boring, tengok ah, padahal satu lanchau aku tak faham medical apa lanchau diaorang tengah lanchaukan, tapi dia memang hero dunia ah, setaraf Mahatma Gandhi.

Boring, boring, jom buat cerita guna lagu-lagu BOYZ II MEN, kasi jalan :-

Lonely heart - Berpisah dengan Championship Manager, oh sungguh sedih, tapi sudah sedar betapa pentingnya kehadiran sesuatu yang fizikal sebagai kekasih

In the still of the night (Cover song) - Oh jiwangnya, nih baru nak jatuh cinta nih, berpegangan dengan awek dan sungguh cinta awek, betul ke? betul ah

Fallin' - Ye jatuh cinta lagi dan lagi

I finally found - Eh silap orang, rupanya jatuh cinta dengan orang yang perkenalkan kepada awek yang jatuh cinta mula mula tadi. Wakrhakgawakhga

Uhh Ahh - Fikir sendiri ye

I'll make love to you - Makin lama makin gila seks nih, tak ingat dunia punya jujur tak cover sound tepat kat awek tersayang "Tolong buka baju plz sekarangz"

End of the road - Alamak, rupenye awek tak suka boyfren gila seks, berpisah lah nampaknya

Please don't go - Pujuk lah sikit lembut lembut, aku tak berniat aku tak berniat

On bended knees - tak tahan dah nih, kena agresif sikit, melutut, pastu kononnya selagi awek tak terima tak nak berdiri nih, muka serious nih, confiden nih, commited pulak tuh

Oh well - Macam separuh terima betapa awek tuh tak kisah langung pun sebenarnya, asik lalu rumah awek setiap hari, tengok atap dah sedih syahdu, eh, camno ekau buleh berjalan jang? Tadi kata nak melutut sampai awek terima balik? Tuh ah lainkali nak agresif buatlah bende yang senang sikit nak register dalam otak dan badan, bodoh, kan dah kantol

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday - Eh apa lah buleh buat, terima jelah kan, sedih memang sedih, tapi gentleman lah kan (Butoh gentleman, kalau gentleman masih lagi melutut sekarang nih)

Doin' just fine - Eh dah sembuh nampaknya, dah gembira, dah kutuk balik awek tuh, siapa suruh tinggalkan aku, sekarang awek nak balik kat kau, ah tak dapat jack, kau buat salah kat aku (Padahal dia yang gila seks sampai awek lari), awek tuh bukannya nak balik, awek tuh accept request kau kat friendster je padahal, kau dah anggap macam dia melutut nak kau balik, selagi kau tak terima dia balik dia takkan berdiri, padahal dia melutut pasal dia ajuk engkau masa engkau melutut konon tak nak berdiri balik, bodoh

THE END

Hermaphrodite

This morning Flyguy played Tai Mai Shu (peace outside!) on his show, huhu, sempena Chinese New Year. Huhuhuhu. I love his show, now I can get myself re-connected with pop music. Recent pop music is actually quite bearable if you have good djs, and we kinda, erm, had a big gap after Flyguy and Lil Kev left the airwaves and left morning hitz fm with a bunch of people who did the impossible, made themselves more unbearable than an emo band's showmanship. Now he has his own station, and he's mellowed down a bit, it's quite different, but it's still as entertaining, and his partner Natalie compliments him well, or maybe it's just that the standard of local top 40 radio morning shows have dropped so low over these few years, even if Flyguy's giving minimal effort it's like, urm, it's like, urm, it's like, urm, I dunno, a hermaphrodite in an all-male maximum security prison? Kinda. Well they're pretty creative with the show. Huhuhuhu. Peace.

Kasi Pancut

Anyone watching Blastoff? JIAJA, need I say more. It's not just because they play the good rock music (Which is obviously classic rock), but just listen to them play that shit, look at them, you'll know what I mean, they don't even bother to say anything, they just get straight to the rockin'.

IT HAS ARRIVED

Yeah let's usher in the prosperity burger. NYUM NYUM *droolz* RajaFarahSalon *droolz*.