Tuesday, November 25, 2008

caliente

i haven't written serious politics in a while yo. it's actually because i'm now 100% pro-government. why? .. lemme tell ya, cause i was up in caltex the other day and looking at the petrol pump meter, this beautiful digit was digitally stamped:

2.00


wahkugeahkugea so no more immature rebellion for me. the gas price is dope. government 4 eva, 4 eva eva, 4 eva eva. long live badawi and kj! kj is a clean and handsome young man who will be the greatest leader in this country and any country at all if they make him their leader. obama ain't got shit on kj like fuh rella.

so what serious politics can you write when you're 100% pro-government anyway, other than anwar is gay bla bla bla lim guan eng is a nerd bla bla bla nik aziz is a cute yoda bla bla bla, boring, so it's better to just stay quiet.

the yoda verdict is apparently out, it's banned for muslims. to me there's always a simple solution for muslim yoga practitioners. just take the yoga elements completely devoid of hindu teachings and incorporate it into another name. yeah it's that simple. just name it with some arabic term and the fatwa council will be like kool dewd, arabic! fah sho it's islamic then and it's kool like kewl. or you can name it tonggek-tonggek or something, something melayu, and they be like, fah sho melayu is islamic that's kewl dewd.

i heard they're gonna be banning bersanding (traditional 'malay' wedding ceremony) too since it originated from the hindus. and just to be consistent, they're also banning any trace of hinduism. which means anyone who's got some kind of indian blood, like maybe you're half indian or something, the indian half of you will be banned since indian has some kind of connection to hinduism regardless of whether it actually does or not and hindu is a bad thing to mankind according to supreme bearded people. no specific guide on how this ruling will be enforced has surfaced yet, but some say the easiest method is deporting. so if your skin seems indian you need to scrape it off and send it to live in perth or something, it's okay you can keep in touch from time to time through phone or letters but being combined back together is a no-no. the same if you're malay outside but indian inside, it's time for your internal organs to take a vacation to non-malaysia land forever. well, at least until supreme malays cease to rule this great nation which is only great because of them.

i say this is good, subtle racial cleansing will surely speed up malaysia's plight to be a developed nation by 2020.

we all know only the malays and arabs deserve a place on this earth.

now we're slowly getting rid of the indians. i guess the chinese are next. allthough i would've prefer for us to concentrate more on the chinese first and foremost since they all have hair that is too suspiciously straight and they work suspiciously hard which makes me suspicious that they're some kind of evil alien. but anything's better than nothing for a start.

what should we go for dear rednecks? oh yeah have you guys seen chi gong? wow it's evil. i was at the park the other day and i saw dragons and shit flying around while they're doing it and one of the students was a muslim! muslims can't have dragons flying around them and shit that's blasphemy, dragons are not islamic, if it was a camel flying around instead it would've been more islamic and okay and shit and you know.

get to working that ban hammer, rednecks. brrap!

4 comments:

Saphuan Awang said...

Shieet... how come nobody ever thought of flying camels and camel dances on hari raya eih?

green apple said...

kulit aku hitam tapi aku bukan Tamil, aku American-Latin.

penyangak said...

cos humans are too lame for camels. camels are badass and kewl dewd.

yeke akak green apple, kira kau nenek moyang aku ah nih, aku chicano, latin american tapi duduk u.s.a. so kulit ada reverse tan sikit haha. tapi america latin dulu red indian, ada indian dalam nama kaum maka ada sikit connection dengan india, india pulak ada sikit connection dengan hindu maka anda diban.

green apple said...

babi..