ninja cat #2

is so sombong. he/she will appear out of nowhere while i'm outside and look at me. and then dissapear. of course i know that look. my hometown has like, 70 cats and i know that look homie. that can i has friskies look (the brand i bought was whiskas though, what's the difference really?).

is a mystery. is he/she a stray cat or someone else's, i'm still curious. if ninja cat is someone else's, then that particular someone else must really be neglecting him/her, like hellooo your cat is chilling in my lounge, eatin' mah whiskases? you're not doing your job as a pet owner, duh. i'm not familiar with stray cats, are they friendly or not? cause ninja cat surely isn't. those stray cats in restaurants, they surely are friendly. they will purr they asses off. you will ignore them. they will go somewhere else. they will come back. they will purr they asses off.

you give them leftover chicken.

that'll shut you up.

they shut up and eat. nom nom nom.

they go somewhere else.

they come back.

they purr they asses off.

again.

ergh.

you give them a whole piece of chicken.

they shut up and eat. nom nom nom. they go somewhere else. they come back. they purr they asses off.

you go to chilli's and get a set meal.

you come back.

you give them it.

they thank you and leave.

ergh.

yes they don't have no shame. of course. why should they. these are ghetto cats. have you ever met a shy and reserved rempit with minimal vocal decibel levels?

only if that'll get 'em pussy for the night. only. you get mah point.

maybe ninja cat IS a ninja cat. kinda like a samurai kinda. like an out of job ninja. he/she used to be a recon spy for barisan nasional.

when i registered as part of the last election's barisan nasional workforce. the powers that be weren't sure of which side i'm on so they sent a recon cat to spy on me. so basically what this cat would do is.......... spy on me. duh obvious.

and then BN lost selangor. and kl too of course. so recon cat is out of work.

recon cat is a masterless ninja.

ninja cat.

ninja cat must survive.

ninja cat must use his/her most treasured trick.

the i - appear - and- give - penyangak- 'i can has friskies? :/' - look - then - dissapear - then - appear - again - when - food - is - poured - out trick.

no smoke is needed.

just the underbelly of a car. since penyangak is too gemuk to see down the car. ninja cat just hides under it and penyangak's limited reach of vision is cleverly exploited.

from under the car, ninja cat will observe the fiendish orange plate which might or might not be blessed with the crackle of brown thingies normal people call cat food but penyangak calls things that cost money.

as food is dropped from the box of spellbinding catty things.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

ninja cat lives another day with a full stomach.

but the strife will never cease.

every day is a multitude of multilongings ninja cat.

penyangak wishes he could turn into a ninja cat so that he could SKODENG.

mm SKODENG.

SKODENG.

nice word.

good night.

more shit i'm watching

How I Met Your Mother
oh yes i have the capacity to watch shit that came out after 2004 as well aight. haha. this shit is not bad, i'm nearly finished with season 1. granted, the main character is a smoldering piece of shit of annoyance and assholeness. sucks major ass. nearly every episode we have to watch his ass get into dilemmas over dilemmas and are we supposed to feel sorry for him? I do feel sorry for him. I feel sorry that I am not in New York to put him out of his misery.

doogie howser is dope as fuck! say whuuuuuuuut? freeze-frame high five!

i think this character suits him best. a suit who is cool as fuck. kinda like ari(from entourage)-lite in terms of behaviour but vincent(from entourage) in terms of sex life. he just holds this series togetha. the dude from freaks and geeks and his gf is cool too. he's partly why i'm watching this shit. there's 2 geeks from freaks and geeks cameo too. and not forgetting all the hot chicks that doogie howser brings to the plate all the time and dumbass main character keeps on fucking upping.

and my love of course. my love? who? what? neva heard of her?



SCHERBATSKY!

isn't she the cutest. isn't she fucking gorgeosus (how do u spell that?)?!?!?! she is right?! right?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she is so adorable. and her name is the sexiest. imagine making sweet humpy love to her and shouting SCHERBATSKY! oh scherbatsky! yeah scherbatsky! INCOMINGGGGGGGGGGGG.

she's just too superb, she reminds me of that bartender chick in early seasons of Becker. HUMPH.

how the fuck she is thrown into the scenario of having sexual/emotional tensions with the dumbfuck main character is BEYOND ME. ergh.

she should be having major sexual tensions with doogie howser, even though he's gay, but who cares, gays still have dicks. i mean shit. i hate that main character, whoever his name is. every other character in the series is cool. and doogie howser and scherbatstky definitely make me go for more episodes even though this ain't one of the better sitcoms i've seen.

oh scherbatstky.

daym.

i can't stand beautiful women. oh scherbatstky tv crush! did i say i can't stand beautiful women. whenever i see them on television i bite my knuckles and punch a dumbbell (by accident). i know i could never have them and in reality nearly all beautiful women are worthless. but yeah, can't stand them, still they're beautiful. maybe all the good wimmin will look like that in heaven and they'll all be mah hoes right? oh God please.

Aight i'm gonna go out and get some food and just enjoy this dope ass city we all live in. Toodles. Okay what the fuck was that penyangak? toodles? you kidding me? oh drop it i'm in love with a tv character will you give me a break you cunt. okay.

sambungan...

sudah pukul 9:50 malam sabtu. sudah tentu cerita yang start pagi tadi dah habis kan? dah tentu aku buleh sambung kan? maka aku sambungkan lah di sini tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.

aku start enjin kereta kan?

aku lenjan baiknya dalam gear neutral kasi bunyik jregnggggggggggg.

hati aku dah nekad.

tangan aku urat semua dah keluar dan merentasi segala lemak yang wujud dalam kulit aku.

aku genggam kuat kuat.

kalau kita marah kita rasa macam menggigil kan macam gila babi nye menggigil, aku macam tengah bogel kat kutub utara sekarang nih.

mata aku dah tak merah lagi dah, dah warna biru, kan api yang paling panas warna biru.

api berwarna biru berbentuk 666 terpancar dari anak mata aku kan.

aku tekan minyak lagi.

aku tekan dan tekan.

macam batman yang nak keluar dari batcave nih.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

vroooooooooooooooooooooomm.



...........cibai.

anyway haha. sorry puan ectopy kerana menyangka yang cerita bodoh ini suatu fiksyen. jikalau anda mengenali diri saya maka anda haruslah mengetahui yang saya sudah hampir 5 tahun tidak berdating. bukan jual mahal tapi takde nak beli.

lagipun apalah aku buleh buat kalau aku dating dengan perempuan pon. kau cakap dengan orang yang penah bawak awek tengok bola pastuh layan tengok lumba drag haram, oh awek tuh sungguh bosan dan menyumpah seranah dalam hati doh, tapi aku tak perasan sebab aku lelaki yang ignorant. lagi terok aku pernah bawak awek tunjuk dia tempat aku first jumpa awek aku yang sebelum itu. kalau ada wujud golongan hopeless romantics aku nye application akan direject dan diaorang akan refer aku kepada golongan hapless romantics. yang akan tendang aku jugak dan di refer kepada golongan hapless hopelesses.

cuma dengan sorang je dating aku menjadi, dengan tangan aku. all night long baby.

weekend nih. apa aku buat kat sini mengarut sorang sorang. argh. aku kene keluar gi mamak lepak. nantilah doh. argh.

nih asik duk lepak rumah download lagu lagu rock melayu dengan 4u2c. oh darling i miss u kembali padaaaaku. sambil tengok how i met your mother kekadang. next entry plz.

sedang aku berkelana, pahit manis aku rindu, hingga aku diaasyikkan sejuta mimpii, sebuah mahligaiii impiaaannn, akan kuturutiii walaupun aaakuuuuuuuu

oh aku bangun awal pagi tadi. pukul 4 pagi. aku lepak dengan internet kejap sampai 6 pagi, lepas tuh aku makan satu elai daging ayam dan satu elai daging daging (lembu), dua-duanya jenis lean, dicampur dengan sos + baked bean.

kenapa aku makan? sebab aku lapar. tak relevan kalau aku cakap sebab nafsu makan aku tinggi, sebab ianya sentiasa tinggi. macam nafsu buas seksual jugak. doh.

hari nih sabtu doh. aku ada date arini. dengan perempuan (memang lah perempuan doh sejak bila kau homo) nama dia gavina. everytime dia lalu depan laki-laki, laki-laki cakap "wow dik tak cukup kain ke?".

apa agaknya aku nak buat untuk impress dia eh? takkan movie + dinner je, tuh terlalu standard untuk dia, dia tak suka standard, dia suka oter oter, tapi barang dia semua tulin eh, harap maklum. dia perempuan bandar sophisticated babe tapi bukan sophisticated thug macam ras kass. setakat movie takde punyalah, dia tak layan, dia layan bende bende macam art gallery, theater, book sales - semua bende bende yang rempit macam aku tak layan. malah aku kutuk orang orang yang layan bende camtuh. sampailah hari nih bila aku kene date orang yang layan bende camtuh. oh sungguh tak layan keadaan nih.

tapi kene layan pasal awek paling hot gitu loh.

camna aku nak biken nih? oh masalah masalah. oh mama saya mahu kawin. bole bolelah.

aku kens buat sesuatu yang whimsical, bak kata omputih.

tiba tiba phone aku bunyik oh ada sms rupenyers.

'awk dh bgn lm sy hlf dy hr ni awk tk o9 ker lolwut'

asallah perempuens suka pakai short forms melampau dalam sms abang tak faham dik oi intan payung baju hujan dsb. lalu aku reply:

'wtf?'

lepas tuh tunggu lama sikit baru dia reply balik:

'nth jst rmmbr tdy oky bye'

'handphone kau ada tiga butang je ke untuk huruf cibai?"

'eh nih saper?'

'penyangak'

'sorry wrong number'

ler wrong number gupenye aku pulak bodoh tak tengok nama siapa kat sms tuh main bedal je sangka ituh dia penawar hatiku. lagipun bila masa dia sms dalam bahasa bm. aku masih lalok nih sebab amek ubat batuk banyak sangat. aku ketuk kepala aku sikit dengan cpu pastuh aku spray febreze kat tekak aku. nafas kasi segar sikit yah.

aku lepak jap atas katil. tengah pikir nak lancap ke tak. pasang koleksi 3gp, tak stim pulak. bilalah lagi artis nak kantoi 3gp. biarlah lookalike pun takpe cam ida nerina. apa salahnya. anggap je tuh artis sebenar. aku nak tengok ziana zain T_T (menangis gumbira). daym nilla. pergh. wau tiba tiba bila terfikir pasal tuh terstim lak. aku teros..................

tengah nak mencapai puncak sms pulak berbunyi.

kali nih betul daripada si dia.

'don't forget our date today okay dear?"

oh dia panggil aku dear. oh cairnya hati, cair bagaikan condensed milk. condensed milk kalau letak atas jelly memang chare. tapi jangan ah salah sangka eh, aku nye cecair tak condensed, susu pekat manis eh, tolong sket, kosser.

reply 'yes'.

pastuh cepat cepat sambung balik ................... sebelum si dia yang lagi satu merajuk dan hilang mood.

lepak lagi. pilih baju apa nak pakai. itupun belum decide nak bawak dia mana nak buat apa semua. takpe baju lagi penting. hari nih takleh merempit, kena style, kene elegance. kena pakai khakis, t-shirt kaler bright, kasut pun kene gentleman. ok settle.

sekarang fikir nak bawak dia mana.

korang agak dia layan zoo negara tak? haha memang idea bodoh. teringat cerita member aku yang protect awek dia daripada burung yang tiba tiba menyerang di taman burung. maka selama sebulanlah insiden itu menjadi sumber kutukan kami buatnya. thoughtful kan? tak kot, dahlah panas, sabtu lak tuh. tableh blah.

kalau taman tasik lak dia layan tak? eh apa aku cakap nih. baru korang tahu aku nih memang takde idea yang bagus untuk dating sebab tuh lah takde perempuan suka aku walaupun aku hemsem macam lembu (kecuali sidia lah). tapi aku tahu korang mesti cam tertanya-tanya aku pernah 'do' dia tak. oh tidak, tidak, walaupun aku remps tapi aku sopan-santun, aku tak kesitu lagi. walaupun perempuan sophisticated nih biasanya 'lobos' atau bahasa lebih simple 'longgar' aku masih respek, lagipun takkan sebab dia perempuan sophisticated je aku nak sedap sedap assume dia lobos, oh tidak, tidak, aku tak se kampung itu.

kalau lah ada date consultancy services kan. kau call. kau cakap awek kau nih camna semua, pastuh dia bagi idea nak bawak mana buat apa semua. gila kau, tak semua laki tahu je apa nak buat dan cakap macam dalam romantic comedy.

masa aku mula mula jumpa dia takde de dialog yang camnih:
'hi' <---- aku start
'hi'
'nice handbag *wink*'
'thanks i didn't know men look at handbags, are you gay?'
'if that's what it takes to build a bridge to your heart, i'm elton john and george michael combined'
'aww you're so sweet and charming'
'so are you free this saturday?'

tidak, sesungguhnya tidak, sebaliknya dialog yang sebenar beginih:
'bang kasi goreng pisang dua ringgit, dengan karipap seringgit, berapa semua?'
'tiga ringgit lah bahalol tak geti kira?'
'hee hee hee (gelak comel) sorry my mind wandering somewhere else'
'aku tak faham inggeris sayang'
'hee hee hee (gelak comel) sorry lagih, ok nah lima ringgit'
'kalau kau tak kasi nombor telefon kau dua ringgit duit lebih nih aku punya'
'hee hee hee (gelak comel) yelah, nombor saya 011.......'
'ok aku misscall kau, kau jangan nak tipu aku'
'saya tak tipu lah'
*kring*kring*
'ok kau tak tipu, tuh nombor aku, simpan, letak kat phonebook nama 'abang hamsem''
'tapi tak hensem pun'
'kau nak aku baling kau dalam kuali goreng pisang nih?'
'hee hee hee (gelak comel) hensem hensem'
'dah dah abang misai tuh dah merah padam bengang tunggu nak beli apam balik, lapar kot baru balik keje, berambos lah kau ye'
'bye, call tau'

romantik? tak? eh aku pedulik apa yang penting itu nombor sudah dapat apa lagi mau diperbungakan? layan sudah.

wah ada dalam 1 jam lagi nih. kena mandi.

aku capai anduk (chewah bahasa) lalu teros gerak ke bilik airs. layan berak jap. macam macam aku terfikir. kalau aku dengan dia terputik cinta sejati. wah memang chare. aku bawak dia jumpa orang tua, orang tua pun approve semua. kita pergi holiday sesama gi langkawi intai orang putih topless mabuk. oh aku dan dia exchange kata kata chenta macam rhumi dan juli. aku peluk dia dari belakang sambil kiterang baring atas pasir kat port dickson, sambil gelak gelak sebab tengah cadang cadang nama nama anak anak nanti. 'darling i want to name our baby dollah lah', 'kau ingat nih team bola selangor keh' 'huhu joking, kalau perempuan nak namakan apa?', 'rihanna', 'hee hee hee (gelak manja) terok lah you nih', 'eh serious lah okay apa?', lepas tuh kitorang gelak gelak sambil music jiwang masuk sebab malas nak fikir dialog, selalu macam tuh kan dalam movie romantik. bayangkan aku dengan dia kat dapur bersama-sama memasak untuk sesama sendiri, lepas tuh semuanya jadi hangus dan tak jadik pastuh akhirnya kami cuma order pizza sambil dua dua senyum kepada masing masing oh sungguh bahagia. bayangkan aku dan dia berjalan-jalan di kota pastuh laki laki rempit nih asik usha pekat dia aku pun bengang pastuh aku daring balik, lepas tuh dia rasa macam aku comel sebab aku jealous pastuh dia senyum lalu cium pipi aku 'sweet lah u nih sayang'. bayangkan dia bawak aku pergi kawan-kawan dia yang sungguh sophisticated pastuh aku cam malu malu pastuh kawan kawan dia sakat aku semua pastuh diaorang rasa aku nih cam comel sebab aku segan segan kucing semua walaupun muka macho bagaikan m. nasir. bayangkan aku nyanyi karaoke untuk dia sambil menari nari bodoh dan tukar style baju macam orang bodoh macam dalam filem filem korea dan dia tepuk gembira oh chumelnyer. bahagianya. flush. mandi. habis.

capai tuala masuk bilik nak tukar baju.

masih lagi tak tahu nak buat apa dengan dia sabtu nih.

erm.

check handphone.

eh ada sms. nih mesti time aku mandi tadi.

'sorry i couldn't make it today dear'

reply.

'zomg kenapa?'

pakai baju. tiba tiba hati rasa drop. tapi pakai gak baju dating sebab aku optimistik. kalau setakat dia kena pegi office kejap ada kerja tak settle ke aku leh tunggu kejap (ini aku expect sebab dia dah cakap awal awal kekadang sabtu dia kene panggil ke office dua-tiga jam). aku faham lah, bukannya nih hari ahad, maybe kalau tak dapat arinih leh tukar esok. hmm. shit. terkilan jugak.

*tetet tetet tetet* (bunyik ringtone sms ah duh)

'there's this guy in office i have had a crush on since like forever, he asked me out today, i'm sorry, maybe next time, dear?'

dear kepala pantek ekau. ado bersepai kpalo arini. next time kepala kau kau ingat aku nih apa gro.

ini bukan kena pergi office kejap sebab ada kerja tak settle, ini ada kerja dari office yang nak settle kan dia.

aku tahu apa aku nak buat sabtu nih.

aku capai beg adidas aku yang berkulit keras.

aku isik dengan parang-parang aku.

aku zip.

aku pakai pagoda warna putih.

oh baby i wanna see his blood on my clothes.

saturday, bloody saturday.

aku start enjin kereta.

kalau sebelum nih dalam cd changer lagu The Ramones 'i wanna be your boyfriend', kali nih Dwarves 'i wanna kill your boyfriend'.

i wanna kill yewr boyyyyfreeeeennnddd, i wanna kill yowr maynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, do u wanna deewwaaannceeeeeeee, rawgkh

aku pegang stering.

muka keras.

mata merah.

zero to hundred in 6.3 seconds.

bersambung............................................

aku kau panggil sayang dia kau panggil sayang

You know this soul classic by Lenny Williams - because i love you right? Dude is practically crying while singing. Here it is:


It kinda reminded me of my school days when I did listen to malay rock (can't escape this yo I live in a very malay world, maybe not so anymore but back then nahmean) and there was this one particular song where dude was at some parts was almost like crying while singing as well. I had to search youtube high and low for it since I don't remember the title although I was sure it was by Scoin but I wasn't that sure so I had to click on all the malay rock songs I know and I really can't recall the title cause all they titles sound the same. Cinta-cintaan? Rindu-rinduan? Rindu jadi kenangan, rindu jadi rinduan? Rindu jadi cinta, cinta jadi rindu? lalalalallaa cinta rindu kenang kasih syahdu pasrah mimpi bunga bla bla bla no yes? LOLw00t.

Anyway I think this is the one, so can we say this is the natural spin-off to Lenny Williams' classic?


OH YES WE CAN, bitch.

Lulalaulu

Dewds and dewdettes check this out right. Me was pickin' up a friend in a hilly neighbourhood right. It was raining and thundering right. Then I saw a badass right on a house on the hill right. I thought he was commiting suicide what with the height and lightning right. But he was just an old badass indo construction werker maybe tryna get sum renovs up for some upper middle class fam right. But forget about that right. He's actually pulling his dick out to the world and singing Judas Priest tunes while dangling his cock left and right, pissing on the trenches of humanity looking at the sky with his right fist pumping in the air to the rhythm of pure new wave of british heavy metal in his head. Rock on dewds! He roars.

And uh. Last time mah wallet had a beautiful colourful GILA-GILA REMAJA sticker on it. But it deteirotiated so I had to remove it. Now I have a new sticker. A more subtle one. GILA-GILA REMPIT! Rock on dewds!

this post is as long as my dick.. LOL april foolz mah dick is short lolwut? ............. T_T

When you sleep, a distinct or loud sound can wake you up right? What if I tell you this morning a lack of sound woke me up. Fuhreel dogg. It's like my air conditioner is old and it's noisy as fuck. So whenever I'm in slumber I'm kinda used to the rumblings. This morning around 11 the electricity went off and I woke straight up! It then went on again in an instance and like a robot I walked off to the house alarm cause if I don't enter some kind a number the alarm will usually go off. Some other neighbours with a more probably securer alarm system's alarms went off instantly.

I slowly went back to sleep.

At around 3 pm the electricity went off again and so did the air conditioner and that automatically prompted me to wake up. Again, like a robot I woke up and walked straight to the washing machine, hung some washed clothes outside, then fixed myself a healthy dose of instant indo mee goreng tom yam flavour, then poured out the catfood onto the catfood plate for ninja cat, like a robot.

That's life innit. No I don't have work right now, for some reason I haven't been called up yet.

Anyway, my streamyx is fucked up right now. I don't know why. And I don't feel like calling them up cause this particular streamyx line is not supposed to be up in the first place, it's supposed to be transferred to the line upstairs since I'm gonna be moving up there. These jokers eh. And they even claimed they moved the line already, as if we can't check it ourselves.

You jokers can't trick me I've worked under dem before I know all the bullshit. Technicians will make up all sorts of shit to say they've done shit. I blame the bosses really, they don't focus on actual service, to put it simply, they go for quantity over quality. I worked on the phone, technical helpdesk, and because of the bosses everyone is obsessed with making calls short and dismissing customers as much as possible.

Even I fall prey to this but sometimes I just won't give a fuck, if the customer is polite enough, I'll be helping them with problems I'm not supposed to. The most common is old chinese ladies, they are so propah and polite, but very very clueless. Like I spent nearly an hour helping this particular madam to attach pictures in her e-mail. Hahahaha. It was very hard to explain everything on the phone but I enjoyed it anyway. Don't get me wrong I'm not that helpful, if some assholes demand help I'll usually brush them off, don't waste mah fucking time bitch. I once gave a sermon to some dude for trying to tick me off cause his router is not working, I'm like yo if you use routers you have to be knowledgeable enough to handle it cause usually if the router is not werking it's your fucking fault. The dude thought he was in control at first bullying me and I'm being polite and all and then suddenly I just snapped and gave him a long sermon beautifully worded in perfect english, and he hanged up. HAHA BITCH PWNED.

Foreign callers are dope too sometimes. Some (only a few) of them are too racist and will start using terms like "you people", but most of them are really polite and will endlessly praise you if you do a good job. Some will even have a chat with you, I joked with an australian couple once about terrorism when they asked my name, I'm like I gave my name then went yeah I gotta be careful at airports and shit, bad joke really. The best was once the wife of the argentinian ambassador (I think judging by their address) called up and she had such a sexy south american accent, and again cause she was clueless and polite I helped her check out where her router is, the instructions I gave even prompted her at one point to crawl under the desk and I'm having a boner imagining her yeah you know. Anyway enough about this.

Where was I again?

Oh yeah streamyx is fucking up. So my regular playing of the first person shooter game COD4 is constantly distrupted. So I'm like fuck this I put on my r&b playlist on the foobar so as to fill the moments when I'm waiting for my streamyx connection to get back to stable mode.

You see playing COD4 - blowing heads off inciting genocides and shit while listening to r&b is not that ironic. Thing is there's not much difference between war and r&b.

While I'm shooting newbs and murdering they asses wif mah extra cool blue tiger sprayed AK-47 (I swear AK's are the coolest looking weapons)! I be like don't take it perrrsonallllllllllhuuuuuu (Monica - don't take it personal). And when I'm being an asshole and I kill my own dewds from the same team I be like tatatatak (smooth soul drum kicks in) yes I broke your ribs in twooo and I want the whole worrrlddd to know I'm sorrrrreeeeeyyyyy (The Delfonics - i'm sorry), tralalalalla you know that I loveeeee uuuu eh wait no haha no homo. Anyway when I kill enough fools and get to airstrike, and I call in a super doooper kewl dewd airstrike and genocide befells mah foes, and one by one they get consumed by the kewl dewd bombs BOOM BOOM BOOM I go oh beeelaaaaiiiannn jiiiiwaaaaaaaa (Innuendo - belaian jiwa).

And after the airstrike I get a helicopter. I call in mah airwolf dudes and they start machine gunning and missiling their way through the battlefield oooh FRAG AFTER FRAG I GETS! I wish it would never stop I go like lett'ss make it lassttt foreeevaahhhhhhh (Keith Sweat - make it last forever).

And then and then and then I brag and shit I go over the chatline and type in "ZOMG PWNT" I'm crazy and shit, I start shooting my AK-47 bullets up the air like an arab terrorist. I'm laughing and shit AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA ZOMG PWNT PWNT PWNT BOOYAKA BOOYAKA BOOYAKA. Wgheaukhgukeahgukeahukga. But because of my assholeness I didn't hear the clinging sound of a tin can dropping on the ground where I'm standing. That particular tin can is actually .. a frag grenade. BADABINGBANGBOOM! I get blown off. And as I watch my limbs fly away right before mah eyes I go..........

Ohhhhh welllll there'ssss still tomorrroowwww, ohhh wellll I'lll tryyy againnnnn (Boyz II Men - oh well).

Sigh.

..

So I've watched two movies that you could say typifies part of my childhood - rambo and twilight zone. Rambo 4 and The Mist. Well The Mist is not exactly a Twilight Zone spinoff or anything but it has the same premise and all, it's a Stephen King adaptation. It was pretty cool and all not too bad. Rambo 4 was badass as expected. I got goosebumps, and 8 boners in one boner when Rambo snuck up on the gook on the big gun right on time and started blowing up every shit. I liked sniper dude as well who made perfect headshots head asplodez! They should bring him back for the next one, he was cute too you know no homo. There should be a scene with him and John Rambo having a threesome with the religious chick. Hmm tasty like chickin.

I also watched Battle for Haditha. About a small genocide in Iraq. It seems on one hand you have the U.S. marines who have been guilty of killing innocent people. On the other you have the Al-Qaeda terrorists who are guilty of not giving a fuck about Iraqi lives and won't feel remorse sacrificing it to the Americans just to get more Iraqis on their side. Both of these jokers foreigners. So in the middle you have the actual Iraqis, who either join the terrorists to nobly fight for their countries and would and should actually feel guilty about innocent lives, or just wanna carry on living a normal life. This is a pretty even-handed movie with the feel of a documentary. It is after all made by Nick Broomfield.

Anyway check out this fanmade trailer of an imaginary CONTRA movie! Starring Sly Stallone and Arnold Scwahgaeafzer (most fittingly).

gagagaga

when i was a kid i took april fool literally and thought it ran for the whole month. at one point i was april fooling everyday for the whole of april.

when i was about 18 or 19 or something i learned that it was only for the 1st of april. and i was like "oh okay".