Thursday, February 21, 2008

fanning the forest

I finished showering, balls still wet, what do I do.

Suddenly I'm reminded of my boarding school days.

Back in the hostel, infections are aplenty, so you always have to keep your cock and balls dry.

In dorms, there would usually be two ceiling fans. But in my school it's not the regular spinning fan, it's kinda like the fans you attach to the wall, the one with grills right. But it's erected on the ceiling instead. And it can spin small 360 degrees circles to cover up almost the whole dorm.

So what I used to do after showers was put on my kain pelekat.

Open it up. Go below the fan and let the hostel breeze enflower my wetty balls.

And because the fan spun 360 degrees, I have to follow it too. All while holding up my kain pelekat.

It was so funny and weird. Yet it's a necessity. Survival of the fittest.

Another thing most of us have to do is not wear underwear, cause somehow it prevents infections.

So basically there were numerous forgot-to-zip-pants cock-dangling-out incidents.

But no fuss. We do what we do to entertain the ladies.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

something in the way hm hm hm

Everytime I do something clever I go "you're so clever".

Everytime I get a good idea I go "that's a good idea ... you fucking idea machine".

That's not good is it talking to yourself?

I do get out of the house you know.

A lot.

I go there and there. Sometimes.

I have a lot of outer house activities.

But I will always be a home person.

Talking to myself.

"you're a home person, you know that?".

"yes, me".

the big apple

Based on a true story.

I was walking to the kitchen in boxers and t-shirt. Handing out the sink my used bowl of yesterday's (or 5 days before) indo mee goreng.

Suddenly out of nowhere this roach appeared and started prowling around the sink furiously. He shocked me.

He then proceeded to climb up towards the edge of the sink and look at me.

I was pissed.

I was like "you know you're gonna get killed when rentokil comes, don't you? you fucking cunt".

He was like "ah whatever fat boy".

He scowered back into the sink.

I went to the toilet to take a piss.

What a rude roach I thought. He probably was drunk. All roaches in this house are drunk for some reason.

One particular dude ended up on the edge of a highly placed pipe on the toilet wall one day. He just stood there. He was like "what did i do last night, how the fuck did i end up here, can i fly? i don't know.. fuck".

He just stood still. Drunk and all. I got out.

I went back to take a piss hours later. He was still there, standing still, drunk and all.. fuck.

And all these roaches are dudes. I wonder if roaches have genders. All of them look like rude, drunk dudes. Over here they don't even go to your feet anymore.

Ever notice how roaches like to run for your feet? They don't do that over here anymore, they just run around clueless, drunk and all that, and they're rude too. If they ever run towards you, they'll stop short and just look at you, sizing you up and all that.

Frat roaches?


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

wait what?

Wait I was supposed to write about the grammys in the last entry. I put it on the title. But you didn't watch it penyangak. Oh ok. Hee hee hee. Ahaks. Peace.

elections, and the grammys, what? what

I find myself jumping and dancing yesterday after learning I will be continuing work in around next month. Not that work is enthusing me and I have betrayed the ways of lazytown, but I want some money to buy some shit. My job is not as orthodox as most but it actually pays well if you think hard enough. For example, this job will not require me to spend a lot of money, unlike most jobs which will probably pay higher but have more expenses. Fact, cause right now I'm still using money I saved from my salary from like 3-4 months ago. I was even allowed to go to HK and shop a bit, not that much though, I'm bad at shopping, I needed mah homies to force me to buy shit, if not I'll be going back to KLIA with some money lost in currency exchangation.

The elections are coming. I asked some young looking dude in a restaurant if he's voting, he said he never wants to vote. Idealistic. I asked why in a very stern almost-slightly-dissapointed-with-the-youth-of-the-nation manner. He babbled on and on and on and on about something I wasn't paying attention to as I was picturing Maya Karin giving me an armpit job, and then asked me aggresively "so why the facking hell do you feel the need to vote?", and I went "err, I never vote as well ok byez", and left him bewildered.

He chased me.

He wants to beat me up for making him waste energy.

I said "no please don't beat me up I was just fucking around"

"don't you think that's why I badly want to rip you into pieces right now?"

"yes, but you're ugly"







I ran towards a fire hydrant.


No reason.

I ran past it.

The fucker kept chasing me.

I'm losing a lot of fat right now. So I stopped and tried to reason.

But he's a fiery youngster, he doesn't want reasoning, he wants to beat me up.

Okay. I asked him "how heavy are you?".

"61 kgs".

"I'm around 150 kgs".

He said "bye have a nice day", and left.

I wasn't supposed to write all that but you never know what'll happen when the BLOGGER LOGO starts to possess your being.

No I have never voted, ever. Why? Cause, no not cause I'm a communist, I'm actually more of a post-neo anarcho-social-democratic sadist.

I .... DONOT .... GIVE .... A FLYING .... FARGHKING .... FUCK


Yes really.

Tell us more penyangak.



I might be campaigning for the demonic hellbound colour-coded government party though. I say why not. What would it feel like. Really. It could be fun. I'll get some money, those fuckers are rich. Remember I also work for a project under the government, I know these fuckers are rich and throw money everywhere. To my inanimate joy of course. What the fuck does inanimate mean. Haha. Any relation with mating, mate? Yo.

What will it feel like. Kinda like Fidel waving an American flag in Singapore. I don't know. What? How? Exactly. Yeah. Figadeeeeeeeeeeely whuut.




Hip hop wannabees these days like to say mayne. It's the funniest thing you know.

Monday, February 11, 2008

sum movies and mr. bill

Casino Royale
Dope. Superbly dope. The action scenes were fucking dope. Fucking on a fucking construction site man that shit is dope.

The Sleeping Dictionary
Every guy you know will want to see this after having discovered the concept. It took me a while to muster the energy needed to watch a crap movie just for the Alba but I finally did yesterday and today (I always watch my movies not all at once due to att. span lackadence). It is a crap movie. Jessica Alba is always a fucked up sight to look at. You will clench your fist and bite your lips. Shandy Aulia kinda looks like her.

Y Tu Mama Tambien
Let it be known that I did watch this movie when it was out. Thanks to pirates. Like I said the influence of pirates, I can never repay. The reason I re-watched it was just purely for the sex scenes. Cause that older wimmin they brought along, she's fine in a way. Like daym. Back then I couldn't wank cause I was living with people, I meant I could wank but not in comfort, and definitely not while watching. Guess what happens nowadays? Come on, guess, come on now, guess guess guess.

Into The Wild
Well could be inspirational, I mean it's a Sean Penn movie. But somehow maybe cause I had very high expectations since it's a nature movie, it wasn't satisfying. I didn't find the nature shots all that beautiful or fascinating, I wonder what Herzog could've done. And the story was more white man bullshit to me more than anything. Okay you have some thoughts about life and shit, okay I respect that, you had some family problems, okay I understand, but there was no need to be an obnoxious idiot. I liked the actor though, he played that Jay dude in that Dogtown movie. Not a bad movie overall, but definitely did not move me in any way.

The Kite Runner
Pretty dope. Although I bet it could be way more dramatic if it followed the book more closely (no I haven't read the book, yes I wikied it). Still fuck it, I thought it was very well done. The dude who played young Hassan was dope as a mufucka, just his face and facial expressions, I have to give props to the casting crew, bra fucking vo. Also Baba and his best friend, they were very very dope actors. Baba reminds me of Amitabh Bachan + Al Pacino. He's fucking cool as fuck. His friend is a more gentler version of him. Their characters were dope, two honorable men. Fucking dope. Watch this movie it's sick.

The Lost Interview - Bruce Lee
One of my favourite childhood heroes for sho'.


Haha wtf.


For now that. Movies I will try and make attention span to see as they have already arrived in my HD: Shaolin vs Wu Tang, Atonement, Brassed Off, Manhattan, Tropa De Elite, Circe De Rogue, Amarcord (shit I've yet to finish this, halfway), The Simpsons (yes I don't know what you're referencing), Sonatine, A Shot In The Dark, The Castle (halfway), American Gangster (should I?), Control (should I?), The Harder They Come, oh and yeah I need to download a good copy of No Country For Old Men, all the downloads I tried fucked up. Yeah a lot of movies to cover, lucky I'm not a movie reviewer eh?


Ever since I got the stand up bug again (as illustrated in an earlier entry I am too lazy to link), I've sifted through a lot of the Bill Hicks old footages I've got. And made up my mind that two of his shit is probably my favourite. One is the Chicago gig where he got heckled the fuck at and started responding in the most hilariously ruthless way possible, instead of outsmarting the hecklers he just straight out went crazy, and no not in a kramer sort of way. That was stupid. This was Classic. The other is the Igby 1993 gig, supposedly his last show since he managed to secure a television show in which he will hunt down all celebrities he hates and the world will be a better place, the sun will shine, the birds will chirp, the crickets will.. um crickeet, and he will shit a solid shit after having not being able to for a long while. Oh yes, a lot of new material here, most of his gigs have the same material as those were prolly shot in around the same era, as he wasn't that successful in the stand up circuit and didn't have too many footages. Maybe. But this shit is good, the way he delivers that shit is fucking superb, his response to shit is priceless, I like it when he mimicks an audience, like in a funny voice: so tell us more Bill Hicks? Okay. Or when he goes okay? kayyyyyyyyyy. One of my favourite parts was when he was talking about the concept of Australia as a prison for criminal brits........ an Island bla bla nice place bla bla if you commit crime you go there ............ phhhhh bummer. Wawuhkghkugeahkuga. Okay you won't understand if you haven't seen it. Why don't you put up links later Penyangak? Okay. Maybe it's just his Jimi Hendrix intro. Or the suit he wore. Or his beard. I think I prefer dude with beard.

What a pity he left us. Like some dude said in youtube, imagine the amount of shit he could talk about in this way more fucked up day and age. Those were the 90's man, ain't shit compared to now. Right. Right. Okay? Kayyy.

valentine's day and underground rapper

Turns out in about 3 days times - valentine's day. I have never experienced this day. I am also not bitter about it. Despite the fact that being bitter about it and relating it to various unislamic things equals cliche and I am prone to clicheness, trying to go against cliche is also clicheness and being that I am prone to clicheness thus it is what I am like in these days of pure torture. Imagining people and their people partners straight or not straight and trying to keep a straight face. The last thing I remembered about valentine's day was when my girlfriend went missing and I am at home chatting with strangers. But I am not bitter, infact bitterness is for the stupid, masturbation is for the truly enlightened.

Check out this song '98' by Nocando on his !!MYSPACE!!, click play, guntha. It is really dope. I really dig Nocando's flow. I really do. I really fucking do. I really dig his rhyming. I really do. I really fucking do. Nothing beats a black nerd. Nothing does. Nothing fucking does.

We can play myspace music now. We can really do. We can really fucking do.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

nasi putih + sambal macam kuah + ayam goreng mamak + bende macam cili goreng tuh

Happy chinese new year. To yawll and me too since I'm 1/5 chinese.

Living in a chinese dominated neighbourhood means everything is kosong today. I went to the mamak just now and the nasi lemak section where I usually steal a bucketload of sambal was closed.

Wow since when do I italize every malay term I use, usually I'm not this considerate.

Back from deep sleep. See if I sleep one way on my bed and without a/c I'll get really deep sleep with complex and in depth dreams. If I sleep the other way not so, but easier to sleep especially after watching something / wanking.

Some jiwang songs for people to consider:

Jackson 5 - all i do is think of you
A part in this one goes "i can't wait to get to school each day, and wait for you to pass my way". Do you remember those days. Being a lazy fuck means you don't want to go to school or learn. But females dawg. Females. Sometimes they're the reason you go to school. Beautiful broad. You don't even know if she's an arsehole, she probably is the biggest form. But that's not the point. She's perfect. Cause she has a perfect face. At this time you don't think too much about boobies. Boobies are for whores. The angelic face. And she's always close with assholes. She always has some ugly ass arsehole but supposedly charming senior hitting on her. It's okay though. As long as I get to sit behind or infront of her in the library. I'm happy. It doesn't take much to make me happy and content to be in a school where they teach you nazi bullshit.

Talk about school I'm reminded of this Paul Mooney joke in which he's talking about how teachers nowadays are sex maniacs wanting to fuck they students. He said something like "back in my days the bitch loved apples". Wahkugeahkgeua.

Jerry Butler - just because i really love you
A lot of stupid things are done while doing this drug. You bitch, just causea you I'm learning how to drive a speedboat. That's not the point. Anyway.

The Charmels - i'll never grow old
I'm always young, baby. Wauhgheakuga.

Monday, February 04, 2008

im cool u cool? if u cool den im cool

post two dope songs with "cool it" in the title

Well, ok, if u say so. I meant if you ask of me so. Sumfin' like that.

The Velvet Underground - cool it down (cover by some band cause I can't find one by TVU).

New Edition - cool it now


Really high on minyak kapak.

you do not know what it feels like to be all depressed. wait yes you do

High on minyak kapak. listening to Barry White and Guitar Wolf.

Masuk angin'ed cigarette on the lips. Wait I don't smoke. Scratch that.


Waking up at this hour with a potential headache. Banging to LOK AND LOL! Will cause a headache, but instantious applicationing of minyak kapak will help neutralizer the situation as fast as possible.

Watched Casino Royale earlier for the first time. It was pretty dope.


Hardly any rapidshare of Guitar Wolf as I sought out to re-fill the lost collection of mp3 albums I have of them. Why is that. Can I has their movie too. No? Internet? Rapidshare? No? Fuck you.

Seriously I need a Halle Berry.

I'll call a heli on her cherry.

An airstrike on her merry.

Vagina pure jelly.

Poke a hole on her belly.

And call it a day.

Pumpgun her waist and stunt cunt her face.

With pure white baby food.

Why am I writing like this I'm not Ghostface Killah.

or Killa Cam.

Me and mah homies we neva lonelayh.