Based on a true story.
I was walking to the kitchen in boxers and t-shirt. Handing out the sink my used bowl of yesterday's (or 5 days before) indo mee goreng.
Suddenly out of nowhere this roach appeared and started prowling around the sink furiously. He shocked me.
He then proceeded to climb up towards the edge of the sink and look at me.
I was pissed.
I was like "you know you're gonna get killed when rentokil comes, don't you? you fucking cunt".
He was like "ah whatever fat boy".
He scowered back into the sink.
I went to the toilet to take a piss.
What a rude roach I thought. He probably was drunk. All roaches in this house are drunk for some reason.
One particular dude ended up on the edge of a highly placed pipe on the toilet wall one day. He just stood there. He was like "what did i do last night, how the fuck did i end up here, can i fly? i don't know.. fuck".
He just stood still. Drunk and all. I got out.
I went back to take a piss hours later. He was still there, standing still, drunk and all.. fuck.
And all these roaches are dudes. I wonder if roaches have genders. All of them look like rude, drunk dudes. Over here they don't even go to your feet anymore.
Ever notice how roaches like to run for your feet? They don't do that over here anymore, they just run around clueless, drunk and all that, and they're rude too. If they ever run towards you, they'll stop short and just look at you, sizing you up and all that.