"You have pretty eyes" said the photo shop camerawoman. Later on I looked at the developed pictures and those wasn't my eyes, it was as if someone photoshopped Elizabeth Taylor's young eyes onto mine. Fittingly enough, I woke up.
I once had a friend who had pretty eyes. The teacher told the female students to never look into his eyes for too long or they will fall in love. So the female students didn't and if I was my friend I would be damn well pissed off and consider injuring the particular teacher's motorcycle.
If I had pretty eyes, girls will tell their girlfriends "i looked into his eyes, now i can't come back". They would of course be LYING as they will be going BACK, to their condos/apartments. Me trailing so I could look at they asses cause they don't have eyes as pretty as mine.
If I had pretty eyes, as I'm taking a shit I would stop for a minute(this takes skills, beatch) to look in the mirror then fall in love with myself, go straight to bed with myself and wank the night away. Of course for these string-of-events to happen, I wouldn't really need pretty eyes.
If I liked a girl with pretty eyes I would say "you have pretty eyes, I am lost in it" and continue looking at it. She would blush. I would add "I really wanna fuck right now". She would be like "fuck what, my eyes?", I would be like "why not?", she would be like "you're right, why not", I would be like "why not, indeed". I summon the spirit of Japanese people and Bob Saget - may the fucking of her eyes be blessed by thee and thee.
As I'm writing this my winamp suddenly shuffled to The Pogues - a pair of brown eyes for no reason. with a pair of brownnn eyesss.
I'm looking at my eyes again, are they really not as pretty as the dreamed picture. No they're not, they're very regular. Oh well, at least I won't have teachers telling chicks not to look at them, that would piss me off greatly.