Thursday, October 11, 2007

mufuckaz ain't shit to me

Who here has never had a black metal phase? Okay fuck you stop judging. I had one and it wasn't not fun, okay. Infact, me and my friends once painted our faces for a picture although I wasn't taking it too seriously cause I was wearing a striped-down boxer, holding a broom and *black metallers say BLASPHEMY!!!!* was too lazy to put on the white paint (it's too much fucking work, how do you band dudes do it!).

Black metal is the gangsta rap of metal. Not the good gangsta rap either. The stupid new-age ponce gangsta rap, think 50 cent, or I dunno, fuck should I know.

I've bought metal mags. I've cursed at stupid clueless fucks who send letters to metal mags asking why bands like Sil Khannaz or As Sahar have growl vocals and don't sing like the mainstream metal bands (think XPDC or FTG (by this time they've already gone mainstream)) (and I still think muthafuckaz who can't understand growls eventhough I don't dig it anymore are crybabies). I cursed at the government when a band called Destinity (no real idea who the fuck they are and what they sound like) was banned from coming down. I've viewed Harian Metro as the devil for being so melayu and mega-sensationalists, still do, those bitch-asses.

Thank God or chance if you're a godless heathen only propa Heavy or Stoner and Death metal stuck with me.

I used to have a hardcore phase, mainly due to going to their gigs down south, I was so clueless I didn't even know hardcore came from punk. They have good crowds, crazy as fuck. Why are kids nowadays against this type of crowd, performers love a crowd that brings the fucking ruckus. Well maybe not all, maybe some prefer a more intelligent crowd. LOL@intelligent.

I missed out on the punk and rock kapak phase cause I guess that wasn't my time. That was the older dudes' times. I guess that must've been a very fun time, I loved reading old editions of my school's magazine cause you can see pictures of rock kapakers with their Loudness/Iron maiden t-shirts and pointy guitars performing in the same hall I once mimed an Innuendo song in (Innuendo is dope, aight), shout out to whoever drew a Bloodshed casette on one page of the mag too, dope shit.

That was their time, what else was my time?

I had a grunge phase, well this is my first ever phase after POP. Everybody without influential older siblings start at pop. Although grunge was pop back then it wasn't exactly pop, it was a loophole, it was actually alternative/indie rock (no not faggy rock as it's known now). Everybody born within the same era as I did had a grunge phase, it was the easiest fad to adhere too. If you're a sloppy slacker loser, you don't need to go to a motivation camp to learn to be yourself, just be yourself. Girls back then listened to almost the same shit as you do, so if you have a Nirvana lyrics folder (I did) or Offspring (Offspring was raw back then, aight)/Rancid or softer ones like Blur cassettes, cool chicks with "alternative specks" are gonna be looking for you. Bless you Kurt Cobain.

I also had a rap metal phase, oooh I really did have this phase, it was simultaneous with my nu metal phase, but rap metal was closer to the heart cause my favourite nu metal music had vocalists who liked rap - Deftones, Limp Bizkit (I know this is standard preference but fuck it 1st album only okay?), or Korn. But Rage Against The Machine was that shit. In my batch I was the only one who listened to RATM, not trying to be different I also dug whatever was popular in the hostel mainly punk (Carburetor Dung, The Bollocks) or skinhead punk (A.C.A.B., The Official) (strangely no metal movement at all in my hostel except maybe one dude who listened to Iron Maiden, hip hop is totally out of the question here cause I didn't school around KL), but I had a very soft spot for RATM, I'm that dude who listens to RATM. One time my friend found a junior who listened to RATM that junior was instantly referred to me. RATM was my shit. My table at school had RATM quotes that I don't even understand or care about, but it sounded cool so FUCK THE NORM. Enter University, my locker had a printed-at-the-faculty-lab pissing-off-the-kakak-jaga-lab RATM propaganda posters, my books had plastic covers and RATM propaganda pics slipped inside them.

RATM was introduced to me by my first internet friend. Bless her. Girls used to be cool back then, what the fuck happened? Females get your shit togeva I toldja.

Fucking phases. I prolly had more phases and more details towards phases but fuck man it's so hard to recall everything, on the drive balik kampung some detail might pop up and will piss me off cause I won't have TEH INTERNETS for a few days. So I'm gonna put this disclaimer to avoid me being pissed off, while hungry, in a traffic jam.

I wish I had a hip hop phase but I didn't. I've never properly spent my time in a hip hop infested environment. Most of my childhood in a small town, most of my teenhood in the dirty south. Hip hop was 100% my own decision, a curiousity driven by my own will, it was a closet thing, it was like being a fag, everybody around you would mock and make fun of hip hoppers, and you're laughing half-heartedly. But fuck it right. Escape to the headphones in cybercafes. Back then I had to download real audio as mp3 was too big (times have changed), one of my favourite tracks was killa hill niggas which showcased two crews that ruled my hip hop getaways - Cypress Hill and Wu Tang Clan. My first cassette was 2pac's.

Moved on from cybercafes to the car. My car was hip hop. I continued with hip hop the tradition of always checking out local shit when it was with rock. I was going to classes listening to Sicksiderz - rap tak ingat it was my car's anthem, all of my friends knew the words, these are regular joes with superregular flows, so they'll have big macs, no pickles... and regular cokes wukaghkeaukga sorry couldn't stand the momentary MARVWON lapse. Erm what was it yeah nama akuu ada binnn, infact it got so played out some of the friends even memorized the other hooks in the Message for the Masses compilation with complicated english choruses haha. And I'm ain't gon' front I played Too Phat a lot some of the dudes got into Too Phat. I even rapped along to the lyrics whenever I'm bored. Who would've known I'd end up in a crew that not only was home to some of the groups I was a fan of, but was also regarded as another group that I liked, Too Phat ..'s rivals, hahuhe.

Thing is as I have written in an upcoming song, I have always had a thing for RAP (before I knew some of it was mainly known as hip hop). When I was a kid living in the UK I got into a duel with my friend over who memorized do the bartman (a Bart Simpson rap song in The Simpsons' casette a longgggggggg time ago) the most. I would never miss Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, never. I will never to admit to this but I actually liked Vanilla Ice especially in Ninja Turtles 2 GO NINJA GO NINJA GO. I remembered anecdotes about MC Hammer when he came to town one of them being an older cousin who didn't wash her face cause MC Hammer's sweat fell on it.

I knew Public Enemy!

But didn't know exactly who they were exactly, only that some people considered them to be dangerous to listen to as if they're gangsta rap (sheeesh). I jumped to Kriss Kross' jump when it came out. Fuck I lived in KL (keramat to be exact) for about a year and got a touch of hip hop in me - when I borrowed 4U2C's (okay not TOTALLY hip hop) cassette from the Indonesian maid next door - a listening moment I had to disown once I moved to the dirty south, seriously bruv never risk getting crucified for listening to rap, it's fucked up, hahuha. I totally digged Nico's songs and especially his rapping although for some reason I never really got into KRU. Maybe a few listens, but the Cinta Metropolitan movie was kinda funny, especially when some girl got jealous of some dude who got with some other girl in a party and she ended up sitting next to Edry who was playing his acoustic guitar and Edry promptly strummed the guitar and went with a falsetto - "jaaaangaaaannn jealous! jangan jealousssssssssssss" (I can sing this to anyone who wants an idea of what it sounds like just request, like we malay dudes say, no hal punya). And and and some might not believe this, I actually listened and acknowledged the Krash Kozz song when it first came out on radio, it was the first propa local english rap song I've listened to (putting aside the lame KRU attempts). I wished I had heard of Naughtius Maximus but fuck you industry they got banned, I would've been way cooler in life if I had listened to them early on but nothing's ever too late for anything and everything tring-a-ling-ling.

Shit I don't know what got me writing all this shit - all of a sudden, maybe it's the nostalgic effect of being about to spend raya in the good old hometown. What do I look forward to during raya? No more raya money for me. Of course, cute ass chicks in baju kurungs. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Where ma homer at?

Girls are so cute. Why are girls so cute? Shit. I'm punching my way out of a sponge thinking of how cute wimmin can get. Mmm.

So on that note happy raya to you mufuckuz, don't watch too much bullshit on t.v except for footie, watch cute gurlies in traditional dresses instead, beatch. Have a nice one and uh don't forget to:-

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