Arguement Clinic

I only drink plain water. I don't got no SOUL.

I get headaches after a shampoo. Not to mention itchy shoulders. (Note to self : use dove instead of shampoo on pubics).

I don't play enough action pc games. I don't got no SOUL.

I just couldn't get that gengaro or gangako (It's actually Ganguro) whatever girl to sleep with me. I suck.

Urgh.

I've been watching too much 70s show, if I get exposure to a social life (Been at least a month since this), I might just sit down like hyde and talk like eric.

And since I'm really, really bored, I've decided to write a transcript of Monty Python's argument clinic.



AC = Arguement Client
AT = Arguement Therapist
Wakhrahkhgka = aku tengah gelak besar, malas nak document gelak gelak kecik.

(Knocks on the door)
AT : come in!
AC : is this the right room for an argument
AT : I've told you once
AC : : no you haven't
AT : yes I have
AC : when?
AT : just now
AC : no you didn't
AT : yes I did
AC : didn't
AT : I did
AC : didn't
AT : I'm telling you I didn't
AC : you did not!
AT : uh sorry, is this a 5-minute argument or a full half hour?
AC : oh! uh, just the 5-minute one
AT : fine..... thank you
AT : anyway I did
AC : you most certainly did not
AT : now let's get one thing quite clear, I most definitely told you!
AC : you did not
AT : yes I did
AC : you did not
AT : yes I did
AC : didn't
AT : yes I did
AC : didn't
AT : yes I did
AC : look this isn't an argument!
AT : yes it is
AC : no it isn't, it's just contradiction
AT : no it isn't
AC : yes it is
AT : it is not
AC : it is! you just contradicted me
AT : no I didn't
AC : oh you did!
AT : no no no no no no
AC : you did, just then
AT : no no no nonsense
AC : oh look this is futile!
AT : no it isn't
AC : I came here for a good argument
AT : no you didn't, you came here for an argument
AC : well argument is not the same as contradiction
AT : can be
AC : no it can't! an argument's a collective series of statements to establish a definite proposition
AT : no it isn't
AC : yes it is, it isn't just contradiction
AT : look if I argue with you I must take up a contrary position
AC : but it isn't just sayin "no it isn't"
AT : yes it is
AC : no it isn't!

Warakhgkahkgahkghakga

AC : arguing is an intellectual process, contradiction is just a automatic naysaying of anything the other person says
AT : no it isn't
AC : yes it is
AT : not at all
AC : now look..

(AT rings bell)
AT : thank you! good morning!

Warakhgkahkgahkgha

AC : what?!
AT : that's it! good morning
AC : I was just getting interested
AT : sorry, the 5 minutes is up
AC : that was never 5 minutes just now!
AT : I'm afraid it was
AC : no it wasn't!
AT : sorry I'm not allowed to argue anymore
AC : WHAT?!
AT : if you want me to go on arguing you'll have to pay for another 5 minutes
AC : but that was never 5 minutes just now
AT : .........
AC : oh come on! this is ridicilous
AT : I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you pay

AC : oh allright (AC hands AT some cash for another 5 minutes) ..there you are

AT : thank you
AC : well?
AT : well what?
AC : that was never 5 minutes just now
AT : I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you pay
AC : I just paid!
AT : no you didn't

Warakhgkahkgahkghakgaaaaaa

AC : I did
AT : no you didn't
AC : I did
AT : no you didn't
AC : I did
AT : ...
AC : look I don't wanna argue about that
AT : well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay
AC : A-HA! well if I didn't pay why are you arguing, gotchu!
AT : no you haven't
AC : yes I have..

AC : if you're arguing I must've paid

AT : not necessary,

.......

AT : I could be arguing in my spare time!

Wahrkahgkahgahkgahkghakghkgawahrkahkgahkga

AC : I've had enough of this!
AT : no you haven't
AC : oh shuttup.

(AC leaves room)

Wahrkahgkahgahkgahkghakghkgawahrkahkgahkgawakhrkahkgagkhagka


Korang kena download nih, kelakar gila doh, Monty Python legends doh. Carik je "monty python arguement clinic" kat p2p tuh mesti jumpa punya. lagi lagi sketch yang kelakar - dead parrot, biggus dickus (dari movie diaorang), job interview, ministry of silly walk dan banyak lagi lah.

Third Person

Melly - bercintalah denganku

Keep this up. The less you update, the more macho you become. Yeargh!

Bercintaaaaaaalahhh deeeeengankuuuuuu.

Men tend to philosophize a lot, and women, they just like to tell you what they've done during the day. And I'm generalizing, well let's just say, that's the unspoken norm. Maybe it's because, women like to tell you everything they've done during the day, and men, being caring creatures, like to ask a lot, just to please them, and this often practiced questioning will eventually lead to a philosophical questioning of life and everything mind-boggling embedded into our minds subconciously. Now why the fuck did I write all that?

You do have the potential to have motivation, but you are too lazy to get it, because it doesn't seem fun allthough in truth, it is the purest of fun. The thing is, the fakest of fun, is funner to you. And why the fuck am I talking in third person, or fourth, or whatever.

I've been here before. Do any one of you realize that it's so fucking hard to get bored of boredom. I don't know what that means but it makes sense to me, how could you ever get bored of boredom. Oh wait. Argh.

Remember the days, when you hate hitz.fm, but you still tune in? Okay, when I said "You", I meant me, and anyone else who agree with me. Well, those days, are over, cause the deejays suck. Remember the legendary morning crew? No more of that. Sigh, mixtapes are the shit now. Can't sleep without a cd writer. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I need to play computer games, I mean I need to start, there's no one much to chat with me, I'm as bad with girls on the internet as in real life, and that's pretty bad, very very bad, ultra magnificiently bad, thousands and thousands of badness. That's what you get when you try to not use the magic words. I could have just said so fucking bad and shut up. Peace.

Falentino

A Tribe Called Quest - electric relaxation

Ooh, valentine in 2 days, it's really a stupid thing but it's also reminder to all the singles that you're fucking lonely and you ain't shit. So any hot damn beautiful and interesting girls out there, if you dig an uninteresting big fat ugly bastard who listens to hip hop. Ring me up.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY

What O'shea was saying when he chipped the keeper with ultimate perfection.

WOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuu.

Okay I'm sorry to say this, Arsenal players are fucking faggots. Just around 5 minutes into the game Ashley Cole got blown by the wind and fucking fell down, I was like what the fuck?! Wenger needs to wear spectacles, it's not the first time his players did these lame dives, remember Vieira and Pires, what? they fucking tripped on a blade of grass that the turf man forgot to trim? I mean what the fuck?! Too fucking obvious and too fucking disgusting. Yeah sure, the last match Rooney fell suspiciously, but he had Sol Campbell's long ass legs infront of him, what the fuck you do? Lick it? And Wenger was furious having a go at Rooney. How bout someone post up an hour's video of Ashley Cole's "fall" repeating itself again and again every week to remind the muthafuckah.

It was a fucking disgrace, what makes it worse is this is a normal practice for Arsenal players. You gotta watch it to believe it, Keane didn't even make a tackle, he just stopped before pulling out a leg, and automatically, the asshole get blown by the wind.

And yeah, it seems as if they can't take a fucking tackle, everytime there's a tackle, disregarding whether it was the ball, they're moaning to the ref. This is the EPL muthafuckah. And I remember clearly Reyes complaining about being bruised and shit after the last game, what the fuck? Ronaldo get tackled more than he does, does the lad complain? Grow some balls bitch.

Or like Rooney gestured to Pires, grow some fucking beard, wkahrhkahkgahkghka.

Okay enough about that, I was a bit worried about the Man Utd players though, Rooney and Ronaldo showed a lot of inexperience, I mean in terms of behaviour, they were a bit too harsh at times, especially celebrating the goal. Well, they are young'ns, and they need to learn, well at least they're not fucking fags.

Silvest was really stupid too.

Forget about it, the team played really well overall, the attacks were swift and menacing, the three-man attack squad Giggs-Rooney-Ronaldo were running everywhere all the time, if I'm not mistaken our first three fast paced goals were all conjured by them. I think we played particularly well in the second half, defence was more tight, less mistakes, Heinze who's mistake led to the first conceded goal turned in a perfect performance. Bla bla bla really.

But that O'shea goal, fuckingcredible. He must have been posessed by Zidane. And the celebration, was like, cocky bullshit, I'm guessin' he was surprised or something though. Whatever.

Had a good morning, I waited all night for the match, paid off. Peace.

Kung Fu Love

I just watched Kung Fu Hustle on dvd. Hmm, honestly it's a good action movie. But I still miss Chow Sing Chee.

The old cheap, and sex maniac Chow Sing Chee. Hahaha. Remember Royal Tramp? Where he ended with 4/5 wives, that was the shit. Miss that kinda shit.

But then, Kung Fu Hustle is still a good movie. It does have some Chow Sing Chee Humour 10% of the time and real fucking cool actions, if it wasn't directed by him people wouldn't have had their expectations fucked up, cause it was generally a good movie.

I have a feeling that Stephen Chow is trying to make up for the loss of great HK peoples crossing over to Hollywood. He's still fighting the good fight, he's still trying to get through to the US on his own, his own fucking work, with what he wants to do. Nothing can ever fuck up good movie prospects like Hollywood, imagine the amount of remakes Hollywood has made that sucked compared to the cult originals, which apply mostly to european and asian movies.

I salute him for that, he's a good director. He's also obviously a kung-fu lover.

But we miss the asshole most, bring him back.

I also watched Eiffel I'm In Love, and liked it.

I thought it was funny. Yeah. I mean if this is what you can call Indonesians' stupid teeno movies, than good, cause I liked it.

Reminds you of their music too, I mean if S07 is what you can call their stupid pop music, then whatever, cause it's still good music.

Or maybe I have low expectations cause I live in Malaysia, a stupid teeno movie, urgh. Fuck it, don't let me think about it.

It's all about standards. Nelly is a commercial rapper in the US, Dizze Rascal is a commercial rapper in the UK.

Back to the movie. Hmm, yeah I thought it was funny. The guy was lying 90% of the movie to get the girl, the girl is blurry and whiny and dumb, but very, very cute. They were fighting over stupid shit 80% of the time, even when they were already supposedly in love.

Perfect setting for a love movie, I've watched it twice.

I like it how they trust the two young actors chemistry to be together for a long long time in the movie, long long scenes, that's something. It might be boring to some people, I guess, it's also very slow paced and fucking long, but somehow I liked it. Not perfect, but I liked it.

The girl was fucking cute though, her facial expressions were really funny. The guy was very awkward, which suits his character, a softie trying to act hard.

Peace.

FUCK

Atheist - air
Death - spirit crusher
Death - voice of the soul

Uuh. Lalala. Fuck this fuck that.

I wonder if saying fuck is a sin, since it could mean anything, it could mean "Stop", like, "Fuck what you're doing, get over here", or it could mean "Having sex", like, "People usually fuck on the first night of the wedding", or or, it could mean "Ouch", like, "Fuck".

I've had perceived cusswords discussions with my mom (Believe it). And she also agrees, that it's all about perspective.

I mean if we all had a paradigm shift, and don't look down on the word "Puki" or "Pantat" (Vagina). Doctors won't have a hard time trying to explain shit, like say instead of saying "Errr, uhh alat kemaluan awak nih ada masalah lah", he could go "Pantat kau ada masalah". To me, that doesn't sound offensive, maybe to some people.

And it's such a shame. I can't see any difference between someone saying "Penis" or "Dick", or "Alat kemaluan lelaki" or "Konek". Some people do, I mean most. It's a fucking shame (Shame of great magnitude).

I'm confused. Must I really care about people, what people think, sometimes I do, it's only natural, but sometimes I just won't feel like it, and I don't expect to feel bad, maybe I would, it's only natural, but at least, I should know, that I didn't have to.

"Fuck" is a censored word. Pity, cause it's a cool word.

But I can also say, that's one of the biggest factors that contribute to it being cool.

A pop group that plays good music can be uncool and safe just because the radio plays it every day.

Fuck is something that's always on the edge of something.

Being a confused guy, I hope someone writes a book about my religion's perspective on words based on Al-Quran and Hadith Sahih. That is something I can't question.

People and what they think is proper or not? Fuck it.

Okay fuck this. Peace.

Pussy

Radiohead - street spirit
Iron Maiden - infinite dreams
Teddy Pendegrass - turn off the lights
Jurassic 5 - jurass finish first
Hmm......
Carol King - will you still love me tomorrow
Chino XL - water

I want pussaayyyyyy for frayyyyyy.

I never go into HIATUS, but if I was a true-and-true "blogger", I would have gone into a lot of those, I guess I'm a typical male, I don't know what I have this blog for, to type shit, yeah that's it, to type shit.

You gotta watch the TripleNoize to believe it, believe me.

I just watched Finding Nemo over download, late yet again. Very nice.

I guess I really dig Pixar movies, ones I've watched : Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles. All of them were good.

I guess I hate Dreamworks movies, ones I've watched : Shrek, Shark's Tale, Shrek 2 (Maybe more I can't recall). All of them were nehhhhhhhh. I didn't even finish shark's tale, abandoned it on cd2, only thing good on it were the jamaican jellyfishes. Booooring, nexttttt.

I was sick, yeah I was sick for a while, still a bit sick. I'm hungry right now, I need to eat before taking medication.

I can't hate TripleNoize, I'm not sure if they really mean to do all those things, it's too cruel to do stuff like that to yourself. Urgkh.

I'm flashbacking to days when this then cool guy who wore the then cool "alternative" thick-framed glasses manned the school speakers, at the end of the term, where people make dedications and stuff. This was long long ago. And was the first time I heard this song, this very nice song.

Radiohead - street spirit.

From the school speakers. Fadeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee outttttttt againnnnnnnnnnn. It was something. I'm sorry but after OK Computer, Radiohead sounded like crap to me, well to me, I know some might dig it, but I just don't, I liked OK Computer, that's the only Radiohead album I had (Still actually my Sepultura-lovin' friend gave it to me because he thought it was too slow and blowed). But after that, all that experimental shit, I don't know, whatever, never listened to the albums anyway, fuck fuck fuck.

Roc Your Body

I saw Triplenoize - roc your body video.

I pity Singaporeans, I feel sorry for the mass embarrassment.

I'm grateful we have Too Phat, they're not bad, I hate Ruffedge but you gotta see the Triplenoize video to believe it.

And the title "Roc your body".

Don't people ever get bored.

What's wrong with some of you people.

Argh.

Let's toast an ais kosong to clowns who don't know they're clowns.

CHEERS!