Tuesday, April 13, 2010

why i can't hate on clash of the titans

okay it didn't feature giant fucking gorillas with batwings but it had...
giant scorpions, arabian sorcerer basketball players, cool old warriors with facial hair + dreadlocks and shit, a stalker lady who gives advice with a loving concerned voice, a giant snake woman whose home is a nightmare for barefooted anyone (you almost always can't lose with giant snakes, refer conan the barbarian), a gargantuan empire state building sized bodybuilder octopus hybrid who lives in the ocean and strolls through the water like a giant eel made out of frozen petroleum, mountain side the o.c. like ancient cities, flying horses, yeah you get it shit like that.

i think this dude is pretty cool and i kinda had a man-crush on him:

i enjoyed "crappy" movies like g.i. joe and 2012 so watchu expect
sure i won't be rushing to get the dvds for repeated viewings but these are movies that because of the epic cgis are a spectacle to watch at the cinema on a giant fucking screen. it's almost like a giant zoo with a cage full of giant fucking gorillas with batwings. the gorillas don't really have any articulacy or an interesting back story rich with enigmatic and novelly built-up climactic twists and sequences to offer but dude, look... giant fucking gorillas with batwings!

simple things like those helicopter circling shots from afar of people walking through beautiful ancient surroundings can make me be like woah

i can casually ignore the absence of a good plot, and/or dialogues etc.
if you know me i'm kind of a film geek, well sorta, i guess, but i can also switch off quite easily. at the big screens i have enjoyed a shitload of movies deemed to be shitty. sometimes a movie is just about the experience, and it does not need to fulfill the elaborate requirements that 'people with taste' (wahkugeawageahukga) look for or expect to be enjoyable. i mean, in certain movies why are you giving a fuck about plot and shit like that anyway, dude, giant fucking gorillas with batwings!

exploitation is now the mainstream
it's studios looking to cash-in. develop easy-to-make movies, inflate something else more marketable (usually the action or the cgi or boobs) to compensate for the lack of everything else. the classic exploitation movies wouldn't get the best ratings on most movie sites but they inspire adoration from the biggest dweebs of today eg. one of the most prominent geeks in the industry, quentin tarantino. two things are going against the exploitation movies of today, they are not underground therefore not rare and 'kewl', and now is not two decades after they were released, yet, cause as proven time and time again time can mellow the hate.

there will be people who create something entertaining and meaningful, and there will be some that make something just barbarically entertaining
some people will create shit like the wire which is an example of perfect novelly storytelling with dialogues to wank to but is also at the same time entertaining (mainly cause it featured cool thuggish black dudes and cops), and on the other hand some people will create ridiculous shit featuring shit like vin diesel racing through with a car that impossibly yet almost leisurely avoids a clumsily stumbling tanker on fire or skirted men fighting giants while throwing toothbrush advertisement catchphrases at each other. and i can appreciate both. when it comes to enjoying shit i can be the geek, the jock, or the stoner, all in one go or paired up, or individually.

but then again, maybe i'm just not geek enough
most geeks thrive on nostalgic comparison. clash of the titans geeks will most probably note how awesome and characterful the stop motion creations of ray harryhausen were but back in the days i didn't watch the original so i couldn't be all purist about it. i was however a fan of jason and the argonauts which ray regarded as featuring his best stop motion work but i can't be too geeky about it maybe cause i don't remember much. but ironically, the mental jaw drop i had as a kid watching the dudes sailing through giant statues and shit in jason and the argonauts was present when the helicopter camera views were circling the giant statues in the new clash of the titans so i dunno, i think it comes down to the next point.

kiddy awe
i'm glad i still have it, those simple things that attract you to watch a movie as a kid, all those gimmicks. maybe not as much as when i was a kid but to have at least a bit of it would be pure heaven. it's is quite a pleasure to be easily amused.

most people who are gonna be dissing shit like clash of titans are assholes anyway so whatever
i'm pretty sure most people who are gonna be like clash of titans was crap would also be those lauding avatar. it's funny cause to me avatar and clash the titans are pretty much the same movie. i would admit avatar winning in the technology department as the cgi was more impressive but it's pretty much the same thing, rehashed linear plot with whatever dialogues but woah cgis creations. well to tell you the truth, i enjoyed clash of the titans more cause i mean admit it, avatar was kinda gay.

it was kinda lotr-lite and i'm a sucker for fantasical shit
yeah i am put random giant beasts and mythical humanoids or creatures in a movie and i'll be like whoa! dude!


magenta said...

cantik! (the layout)

penyelamat dunia said...


Sofunny said...

And the fact that Avatar consist mostly of naked men and women...

"and i just have to say this, if you are a muslim, just because you know a lot of hijab-clad assholes does not make it any less of a duty for you to cover your aurat."

So where does that leave your arabic culture thingy?

Muahaha...hipokrit besaq kote kecik

penyelamat dunia said...