a loser's review: the losers

two movies were enjoying the hype before the losers was released and i managed to catch both prior to watching it. it was kick-ass and date night.

now kick-ass has been getting a lot of praise. i enjoyed it, a bit, but it was just okay. a few chuckles here and there, a wow during the last scene with that gta-status weapon, a "yeah nicholas fucking cage, biatch!" when nicholas cage arrives onscreen, other than that well it was, alright, i guess.

kids cussing, big deal this is 2010, comical ultra-violence, big deal the koreans and the japs have been doing it since forever. some dude in-movie complaining about why no one normal would just decide to become a super hero in real life one day when he is actually in a comic and in comic world that happens all the time, eye roll material.

truthfully what bothered me was the cussing, it was a bit annoying, and forced as fuck. they needlessly fit in overused cuss words everywhere. kids cussing is cool and all but halfway through the movie it became a chore to listen to. they should've made like the thick of it and hired a british swear consultant to look over the script.

and what is with every single fucking reviewer or pseudo-reviewer i've read going "kick-ass is simply put... kick ass!" (cue me rolling eyes and forcing my imaginary cat to do the same). it was supposed to be comic satire but what satire where?

date night i watched because i had a 2-hour window between ticket purchase and showing time for the losers. it was really meh. james franco and mila kunis were funnier than the leading couple and they had like what just slightly longer than their trailer appearance of screentime? but i'm biased, i don't find tina fey or steve carrell funny. at least not anymore. the movie was really meh despite some nice supporting casts (marky mark, ray liotta, common, liam mcpoyle from it's sunny, even leon from curb was in this!).

this movie was one of those movies where you don't need to watch the movie the trailer would suffice. the whole time steve carrell was on screen i only laughed once and that was because he was exchanging words with franco and franco said something funny and my laugh spilled as the camera cut to steve. the whole time tina fey was onscreen i was thinking about how funnier it would be if it was sweet dee instead.

then it was finally time for THE LOSERS!

i knew exactly what to expect, an a-team kinda shit (how fitting for the a-team remake trailer to come out before the showing). i've read some reviews dismissing it as just another action movie. i don't mind at all, i'm always excited to watch action movies on the big screen.

the opening sequence to set up the story was simple and tight, i loved that and had a small feeling that i would really enjoy this movie but i won't get too excited, i'll judge it when it's finished. true enough, after it ended i couldn't help thinking about how i loved it. this is one movie that i loved so much i'm prepared to just ignore the reviews and actually formulate an opinion totally on my own and stick to it! (*gasp* how could i!) cause you gotta admit not too many people like it. it is, a bit too mindless for your friendly everyday connoisseurs i guess.

but what it did to me was, it made me that small boy again, watching an episode of a-team all by himself, giggling and being all-round giddy. of course a particular unimpressed reviewer did say it panned out like a bad episode of the a-team but when i was a kid i've never not enjoyed any episode of a-team so this is not necessarily the worse thing.

i also don't remember the last time i laughed out loud uncontrollably in a cinema and i went alone. there was this one scene involving the funny white dude, he started with a really funny scene *laughs* follows it with another funny scene *laughs* and ended with a scene that was just too funny i just had to laugh the fuck up. great buildup.

whoever played that guy, he was really good. you will find most stereotype chatty gadget-geek type in movies to be annoying, like seriously annoying, they always over pronounce or overstress intonations when quipping a joke as if smirking to themselves wow i'm so smartalecky and referentially funny but this guy was just naturally and innocently comedic (or genuinely and hilariously geeky). he is also one of the most well built geek i've seen.

the casting was really good, their chemistry made me all warm inside. because i feel this is what makes the movie, i'm gonna do this one by one:

the main good guy leader dude - the first time i saw his eyes i thought he was gonna be good. i didn't realize that he was the guy who acted as the comedian in the watchmen. no wonder he was impressive. he looks like a cross between robert downey jr. and nicholas cage.

the tough black dude - it's STRINGER FUCKING BELL. you can't go wrong.

stringer fucking bell

the funny geek white dude - this guy is classic. i always find the stereotype fast-mouth in post-90s movies annoying and i was ready to write him off, but he proved me wrong. this guy is just too jolly, you'll love him if you love kittens and shit. he's like a mix between donatello and michaelangelo of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

the quiet cool sniper - i always have a thing for the quiet character and this guy was mad cool. and to top it off, he's a fucking badass sniper wahukgea. and to top that off, he's latino. i'm all kiddie mancrush whenever he's on screen.

the sarcastic black dude - this guy is the vehicle expert, i think that's kind of a cool specialty. he's also mad sarcastic, not white boy annoyate inflection when saying something ironic sarcastic, i'm saying he's MAD sarcastic. when he's angry he gets hilariously sarcastic. i think only black people are capable of pulling this off nicely. that might sound cliche but i find that in this movie there is no really cheap exploitation of racial stereotypes, everybody just seemed like themselves.

the chick - she's the chick from star trek and avatar. she fits the character quite nicely. and she's very tanned. i love it when a movie focuses on tanned women instead of over-glorifying some not really that hot white chick ala megan fox. cause come on dawg, seriously tanned women are the height of excellence! i mean, the bees knees.

the bad guy and his henchman - the bad guy is really really funny, and some of the best moments are his exchanges with the grunt assistant.

there are some other characters but these are the notable ones. i think this movie could have easily been just another action movie but they made very good choices with the cast. i mean i am biased due to my nostalgic love of something so old schooly, simple, and a-teamy but if you can diss everything else about the film you definitely can't have anything against the casting, it was very good. and if you do, i don't really give a half-fuck let alone a full one.

the movie's overall production was modernly slick though, a lotta cool music video or advertisement kinda editing mixed in with comic elements. i do enjoy movies that employ such gimmicks especially those parts when they morph actual footage to illustrations but in this case those are just additional joymakers.

notice how i didn't make any mention of and comment on the story line or plot. wahukgea. no need to point out the obvious.

it was just great to feel like a kid again. all it took were cool characters with contrasting characteristics, good chemistry between them, humour, guns, decent action, and the rest will follow.


bonus reviews:
shutter island
really enjoyed this one. very well made. the acting was top notch especially from leo and his sidekick (i liked his accent "need a light, boss?"). also the professor. made me question my sanity for quiet a bit. the storyline might have lost some shock value due to it being overdone but you just need to stop trying to predict or anything just enjoy the ride and take it for what it is.

veronica mars season 1-2
i haven't finished season 3 yet but so far brilliant. i really like it, even went on a binge for a little while. contemporary setting with an old school feel. the joy of finding out what the mystery is all about fuels my interest. and the never ending big lebowski references.

how to train your dragon
surprisingly despite the annoying smart talking geek (yes my point again), quite enjoyable, better than avatar at least.

the slammin' salmon
it was ok. i wish the broken lizard team would just make a super troopers sequel already. that was their best shit and it seems will forever only be.

frequently asked questions about time travel
i might be an anglophile but this is garbage.