Brown Black

Despite the fact that this blog was erected on fundamentals made out of the pure unadulterated need to crap, I am beginning to crap too much. This is of course, unintentional and intentional. Unintentional because it was effortless and just another day in the office, intentional because I want to make this blog so inaccessible that nobody wants to read it except me in the right mood. I am intent on creating an imaginary reader-base consisting of only hot malay women, hot other races women, and slimy MILFs which will replace the actual readership of a maximum 3.5 persons (0.5 for the lovely spambots) a week I have achieved so far.

I've been doing some mathematics.


And also. I'm starting my own clothing line labelled "penyangak". Here are some fine ladies (whose faces I won't reveal out of courtesy) putting on my designs (e-mail me at gwb@wh.com for orders):



So here I am 1:13 AM (this is real time don't trust blogger timestamps). Early morning obligation tomorrow. Still not asleep. Listening to The Temprees - out of my reach but I'm not emo-ing. I'm a robot, I'm trying to learn all about human emotions, but everytime I try to learn I get hit by a train. A train that does not exist, a fucking coal train, straight from Muzium Negara (National Museum).

Aku penyangak nak cerita (Woohoo I'm totally pissing off blogger's spell check with this part of the entry). Aku suka minum susu, lepas minum susu perut aku rasa lega setengah minit, pastuh tros rasa cam nak berak. Maksud aku, rasa macam KENA berak. Dulu aku selalu makan bende pedas, setiap hari, sampai warna taik aku hitam, jadi aku berhenti. Aku sedar bende tuh bahaya. Tapi kadang-kadang aku makan jugak, sampai aku menangis makan, tapi enak.

Aku lahir sama hospital dengan Ryan Giggs.

Semalam, ataupun lebih tepat malam ahad. Aku tengok bola dengan sedara-sedara kat hartamas. Manure lawan Chelski. Manure menang dan patut menang sebab main best. Moaninho seperti biasa lepas kalah apa-apa macam cacing kepanasan, kalau Fergie my hump my hump kalah dia bukak champagne pastuh lepak dengan Moaninho. Hish budak-budak kecik nih tak cool dan gentel kelentit langsung. Tapi dia memang macam cacing kepanasan pun sebab kat Chelski, dia nak manage Manure sebenarnya, jadi assistant Quieroz. Lagipun Moaninho sangat gay-kan Ronaldo dengan Nani (sebab Carvalho buruk, dan Ferreira pulak bulehlah tahan tapi tak ada gunanya langsung). Nani amek corner chun, bola tuh terbang tinggi pastuh tron balek elok elok antara keeper dengan siapa-siapa kat tengah tengah tuh. Aku happy sekarang Manure ada pakar corner. Sekarang aku nak tanya Ronaldo kau tak training free kick ke masa off-season? Kimak kau buang duit aku kasi tips melalui sms, dasar bencong loe. O'shea sperti biasa, penuh cool, pemain cult manure season lepas setelah dia memaparkan gaya Bergkamp setiap kali membwat finishing. Van De Sar seperti biasa mengaktifkan lawak psychology dia masa penalti walaupun dia bukanlah seorang goalkeeper yang mengada-ngada macam Barthez. Van De Sar suka sikat rambut, pemain Holland semua smart, sikat rambut, Nistelrooy je anak aram. Pemain Italy semua setiap pagi sebelum match seterika rambut jadi rapi dan lurus. Pemain Argentina sebelum match kena lalu hutan semua nak pergi stadium jadi diaorang takde masa nak fikir pasal rambut. Heinze nak masuk Liverpool, lanchau kau lah Heinze, kau nak ranapkan hati aku ke? Puki engkau ah.

Spaaaanish bombs!! tequirooo bonitoooo yo tgequiraaa oh ma corazznznonnnnnnn. And jaaaaneeee she is a pantat.