Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Life Is Beautiful But You're Just Pretty

This entry I dub - reviews that have no structure, no appeal, no wit, no unintended puns, no poetry, no content, no sign that the writer is trying to write something good, no humour, no insights, no philosophy, no deconstructions, no summarizations, no sign that the writer actually understood the movie and what it was trying to convey, no intelligence, no beauty, no clever use of language............. and no readers.
    "And now, for something completely different"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I don't know why I watch all these Werner Herzog movies, I don't even like them. But I do like oogling at the nature shots - like a fucking mountain with things moving down it like larva which turns out to be fucking humans.. in Aguirre, and all the bizarre things happening on screen - like a million topless black female specimen being trained to fight by the badassistic Klaus Kinski.. in Cobra Verde. In this movie's case, a buncha Indians being commanded by Kinski - to pull a fucking 100 tonne ship over a fucking hill.

In Her Shoes
Chick flick with Cameron Diaz in it. I can't believe I actually enjoyed watching this shit.

One Tree Hill (Season 4)
Shut up

House (Season 3)
Yeah sonn. The McGuyver of our generation. Same thing every episode, "I got it" look should get on people's nerves, not me, I'm still watching it bitch, "never is just reven spelled backwards" I'm reve reven gon' leave you House. House is the Socrates of our generation. I need his guidance in this cruel crazy world. Btw, I dig cuddy yo, makes my schlongow grok-owh. I been digging the jewish look lately, I hope the local authorities don't find out, and forgive me hitler.

The Last King of Scotland
Whittaker, nice, everything else = whut-e-va.

Freedom Writers
What-e-va movie, nice ass soundtrack - Digable Planets, Gangstarr, 2pac, Wu Tang, bla bla bla, 90's on lock. The only inspiring teacher movies I enjoyed were Dangerous Minds because of the scenes where the chicano went "something something esseeiii" and "something something puttttoooo", and Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO), well I don't know, the movie was aight, the T.V series was nice, the comics I mean mangaswhateva were the shit. The Wire also had some teacher shit going, how the fuck did they make that so not corny, genius, you can't be a production crew based in America and not make teacher-student shit not corny, it's a Hollywood rule to make people phuke ais kacang. Mm, yeah, season 4 had a lotta kids, that was cool, how do you make a lotta whiny ass ghetto kids cool? You be as cool as The Wire. They made a super gay dude super cool - trenchcoat + shotgun + trademark whistle + toy boys + female sidekicks + making drug dealers shit they pants. You make a gay dude the coolest alpha male on earth you can do everything, yes, they could probably make Lina Joy love malay muslims with all her heart.

Smokin' ACES
Smokin' aces, flaming bullshit.

Erm. It's aight. Nothing much. Not bad either. Compared to City of God, nah man, nahh. Carandiru is comparable. This one is just aight. But a lotta hot brazilian chicks though *droolz like a mufucka*, I need a homer simpson emoticon here, yeah sonn.

Louis Theroux and the most hated family in america...
I luvs this guy. I like watching him trying to blend in with psychos and then debate them while they're driving to some psycho event. The psychos just love him. I like how he gets away with being blunt because of his polite and bookish personality.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Peep Show (Season 1-4)
This show is superb. Haha. Just like I did with The Office, after watching all seasons, I instantly went back to the first episode, and like I do with Southpark, when I'm bored I'll just watch a random episode. It's basically about two best friends = housemates. A 9-5 geek and a musician geek. One gets all that a normal metropolitan life can give - a decent job, a decent gf prospect, a pc AND a laptop, a big screen t.v, an apartment, a fridge, etc etc at the expense of pussy. The other gets all the pussy - neighbour, ex-gf, random american hippie, some random chick, some other random chick, a threesome, best friend's future wife's mother ("I'm a motherfucker, literally"), and almost, almost - best friend's future wife, etc etc at the expense of any clue of normal life.

I can't really explain much, just watch it you fucks, it's on youtube, almost every episode I'm sure, my friend downloaded all from there. It's charmingly depressing, like The Office, but a different kind of depressing. Only the Brits can excrete all kinds of color from depression, oops, I mean colour. I do like the brit accent very much, it's cool, not because I used to live there, when I lived there I thought white people only had one type of accent - "mat salleh". It's because I just like it, it sounds cool, americans will say "at least we actually pronounce the words", well mispronouncing the words made english cool, all cool accents in the united states are from immigrants. I been watching too much of Brit shit everytime a yank is on screen they accent sound funny. RrrrRRRrrrR. Watch this shit you piss kidney (I got this term from this show).

24 Hour Party People
Ha-Ha, dude is the coolest, Alan Partridge rulez yo azz (He is the alter ego of the actor in this movie who played a real life guy who influenced the alter ego - that went full circle). Erm, dude is mad cool, wrote a statement with blood, record company had no contracts, no masters, Club had massive audience, no profit, New Order's sales used to cover losses. I never really liked all that post punk or new wave shit that much. Madchester gave birth to a lot of DOUCHES in this country alone, with their scarves, urgkh, that's not cool, you wanna be weather-confused? Wear a big ass jacket, russian hat, and timbalands, yes, hip hoppaz rulez yo azz, whakhuukgea. "Pussyyyyyyyy *ahhh* meow". Anyway, yeah, but this movie is nice, nice one. Lead dude is cool as fuck.

Bill Bailey - Bewilderness and Part Troll
Dude is mad funny. Improvisations are the shit. Fucks around with instruments like a mufucka.

Letters From Iwo Jima
I love the colours. The movie was cruise control for me. Not too engaging. It was aight. Ken Watanabe is still the shit.

Office Space
Well, a rewatch, one of my favourites ever, funniest shit homie. Why do I rarely update my myspace profile, I have so many favourite movies. "MmMMMm yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to" mmMmm yeahhh.

Woah, this one is raw. I just watched it. Ray Winstone is the shit.


Notice that queer shit I did with all the "*"s, wahukgkeuauhkga I must be very depressed. That's all for nowwwwwwwww, well I've watched a lot more shit and have a lot more shit to watch. I reviewed ones I just felt like reviewing and did not review ones I haven't seen yet cause that's called a preview, nutsack. I called myself a nutsack. I have achieved everything in life.

No comments: