I'm sitting here tryna get sumin' tah eat at what would be the mamak with the most smartass waiters.
customer: apa ada?
waiter: macam macam ada.
customer: air apa sedap?
waiter: semua air sedap.
Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's having to wipe off rain water from the outdoor chairs and tables.
Maybe they're just being honest.
Cause for fuck's sake they do have a dope malay cook cooking malay/thai shit. I'm on that shit all the time yo. I found a goldmine in this neighbourhood mamak.
It's fucken dope, it touches my fucking soul, grabs it and squeezes all the funky spicy feelily juices for my body to devour.
What the fuck.
Yesterday was Eidul Adha. Animal slaughter for the malays. Holidays for the others. And hell for PETA. Wuhkaghehakukugea.
What do PETA fucks do for Eidul Adha. They can't straight disrespect a religion, but good god almighty they must be crying they anuses out. Every second of Eidul Adha, a spark of implosion is ignited in the arteries of PETA mufuckuz. Their hearts bleed, their minds electrocuted constantly. Seizures of anger and disbelief dominate this population of arseholes.
I'm clearly bored.
Like I was during the generic government-written khutbah. I can't even begin to hide my bored as fuck face. And yeah icing on the cake - some governmental propaganda dissing bersih and maybe even hindraf rallies was put in for good measure. The term "plight of Islam" was streamlined with the government. Every Muslim ever, in order to fight for Islam, fight for this government. Yes, do that bitches. Do not fall into the trap of misguided Muslims who use the Zionist media to get what they want. The government is all that is Islam. Haha piss off. You disgust me. I don't even agree with those pointless rallies and I am pissed off like a perfumed racoon.
It does not help that the Imam is reading that shit with the same monotone of 'khutbah' that I've known for many years. My mind cannot take it anymore. Recently my mind has been cancelling out acceptance of a lot of things, including formal malay language. And that's what the khutbah was delivered in, to add salt to wound of course. ARGKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was going crazy. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
This is what REFORMASI has given us. Now all Imams are fucking government drones. Reading speeches from the teleprompter of corrupt gonas.
Before this we had some really cool Imams.
Like this neighbourhood Imam once giving friday khutbah prayers. He had the most inappropriate brilliantly timed metaphorical sense of humour. Like he would use "road to wembley" as a term for skirts of chicks being opened. Wukhagheakuhgeukea. If you don't know what "road to wembley" is it's kinda like another name for FA Cup. Football yaknow.
I understand perfectly what he's doing. He's testing his listeners.
For some unknown reason, every Muslim doing Islamic things must have this KETAT (tight in a bad way) face. I don't understand why. So he's basically just fucking around with his listeners. There's a lot more anecdotes about him I just don't remember. Ergh. Haha. What a cool and badass Imam. That's dope.
Sadly, he must've either sold his soul to the corruptly arseholeycunt government ops I meant plight of Muslims everywhere in Malaysia, or is locked down in a secret prison superior to the ISA somewhere.
We must all burn the Malaysian flag and fuck the ashes with our wet cocks.
I hate yawll.