jahllknow there's a ninja cat around my house, dude is gray in colour. there's this other dude too, i think it's a dudette though - who i am pretty unsure about. at first i thought she was also a ninja cat, probably named after a type of flame because of her orange undertones.
but she ain't too fahckin' subtle now innit bruv.
she's upfront as shit. while the grey fuck is prowling around usually unnoticed she would simply wait and watch, very noticed. a few days ago she fuckin' meowed and motioned her way into me holding out a finger and getting it scratched to a prickly cut.
the new info that has somehow managed to establish itself into my shy attention span about old school karate secrets has made it possible for a new light to be shed on this particular creature. turns out this is the one and only, notorious, infamous... okinawa karate cat!
if you didn't already know, karate masters would call upon this secret ancient art of theirs to confuse their dueling counterpart and make them bacdafucoff. their enemies would be like 'why the fuck did i just back the fuck off?' and the master would be like 'exactly........bitch' without even talking. and he would gracefully end it with a 'now piss off biatch', using only his eyes. wow.
that's what i am, a bollocking cunty biatch. but i am honoured to be in the presence of a true master who does not only use movement, but also sound, which is another martial arts element. sound is a weapon often underutilized, apparently not by this okinawa karate cat. infact i am pretty sure she has way more in her arsenal. she would leisurely employ a combination of any of her ancient abilities to suitably manipulate every millimeter of my movement.
'that's right bitch where's my food, that's right no no no no piss stain you don't touch me, i touch you, yes bitch, yes, now get back in and close the fucking door like the gutless spine-depraved jellyfish that you are...'.