American Idol 3

First round American Idol 3 sudah habis. Best dohhhhh. Hahaha. Simon kutuk best gila. Absolutely horrible! Warhkaghkaghkaghkhka, best ah judge dia. Best doh first round, macam dulu pun, first round je best, pasal boleh saksikan orang bodoh dimalukan. Warhkaghkahkga. "I'd ban you from singing in the shower" - Simon.

Tapi orang america ramai cam cibai, bangga sangat dengan diri sendiri, dah lah memang bodoh, nyanyi tak best, sumbang macam puki, pastuh kena kutuk dengan Simon dengan mamat lagi sorang tuh, tak nak terima, boleh mengaku power pulak, belah lah wey, arrogant cam puki.

Anyway. Ada sorang mamat nih cool gila, aku tak dapat tangkap nama dia, tapi dia pakai skema gila, dah tuh, sebelum audition dia boleh tidur, macam bosan gila, orang lain sikit nye excited dan bangga nye (Padahal bodoh) dia boleh tidur, hahaha, pastu masa kat tempat duduk sebelum audition, dia boleh separuh tidur. Pastu masuk audition dengan muka separuh lalok, dah lah pakai baju skema gila, wahrkahkgakhkga.

Sekali lepas audition (Tak tunjuk masa dia nyanyi), semua puji gila semua was like, wow suara unik gila, tapi Simon kutuk lah baju dia dengan style dia, mamat tuh relaks je (Muka tak sangka dia bagus, kata baru bangun tidur), dia cakap lah masa dapat leaflet leaflet cakap "Dress to impress" so itu je baju dia ada, hahaha, baju dia pergi church (Mesti dia suka tidur kat church guna baju nih). Warhkahkgahkga, sempoi gila doh, dengan muka ngantuk dia. Pastuh semua kasi dia lepas.

Warhkakhga. Sekali dia keluar, macam cibai doh, terus menari nari, buat muka cibai, menari cam cibai, hyper gila, wahrkahkghkagkha, boleh siap menari nari peluk peluk dengan some random big tits chick, wahrkahkghkakgha, cool gila doh! Warhkahkgkaga, muka cam sial, menari sana sini, padahal masa mula-mula cam cibai punya blur, dah lah tidur sebelum audition, whkarhkahkkhga. Inilah yang kita cari! Aku akan sokong dia for American Idol. Cool doh..

And yeah, I know the song is good and all (I loved it, months ago), but some fella is playing jay chou - qing tian non-stop replay replay in this cc it's like he's shoving deja vu in my fucking throat..

Huhuhu

So. Apa pendapat korang kalau kita mimpi tengah tunggu orang, pastu bosan sangat tunggu (kat meja makan apa entah), terus letak kepala kat bawah pastu tidur? Apa ah pendapat korang? Apa ah?

Pastuhkan, aku main CM tau, main CM (Championship manager), pastu aku ada sorang player muda nih, power gak ah, nak tahu nama dia apa? Nama dia Peter Whitehead, wahkrhkaghkaghkahkgahka. Kelakar tak? Kelakar kan? Whitehead! Warhkahkgahkghkaghkahka, wahkrahkhkga, wahkrahkga, Kelakar kan? Warhkahkghkkhaa, faham ke tak? Faham kan? Tak faham? Kalau tak faham kau bodoh. Whitehead, wahkrahkghkaghkahka. Apa lah malang nama surname Whitehead. Warhkhakhkga.

Anywayyyyyyyy. Memang dah lama dari dulu, all guys seem to think that sayang aku senang nak dapat just cause aku dapat. All these fuckers ingat diaorang hensem sangat ke. Aku lagi hensem lah bodoh. Bahlol, bongong, bongak, semua ada. Pandang rendah sangat kat aku. Macam bagus je. Sayang aku, sayang aku lah. Fuck off. Peace..

Pahal Lu?

Boring dol. Hari tuh aku tengok malibu's most wanted, bodoh gila doh cerita nih, boring gila, tah pape entah, bodoh punya cerita, I give it a rating of M, for moron, whkarhkahkghkga. Anyway, hmmm apa patut ku tulis di sini, huhuhu, hmm ehem ehem. B for bosan. Huhuhu. Anyway aku sebenarnya dah bersama sayang aku kembali, lama dah pon. Anyway, apa lagi aku nak cerita kat sini, aku malas gila nak pergi kelas pukul 5 tahu tak?! Baik tidur kan? Tapi tuh tak betul gak, pasal "Baik tidur" applies to almost every single thing that requires thinking and boring the fuck out of yourself which is most synonimous with education. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Warhkaghkahkgahkghkaa, get it? W W W pastu W lagi? Get it? No? Fuck you then. Peace..

MAHAGURU

Imagine this there's this guy, having a conversation with a chick, in a mamak. He is backing a big screen projector showing a tight match (not facing it lah kan, facing the chick), he is focusing on the chick, talking with her, and his eyes never stray from her eyes (yes my fellow friends, not even a glance towards her boobies), who would he be? Yeah, he's THE MAN! The Mahaguru! He talked with the girl for hours and we (me and my friends) kept examining him, he's perfect, he even has the same drink for hours while we have had like 3-4 glasses, his level of focus and concentration on the chick and their conversation is perfect! Hail Mahaguru! Peace..

Apalah Sangat

Ahhhhhhh, nyampah ah! Asal orang cina banyak sangat alasan! Bencinyaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Belah lah, orang cina memang banyak alasan, everytime aku cakap "mana ang pow", mula lah "saya belum kahwin lagi lah" bla bla bla, yeah, guess what? I'm not married too!!!!! In your face sucka!!

Anyway. Saje je nak intro untuk :-

GONG XI FA CAI!!!!!

Mercun Ye Bang?

Aku tengah berak kan, sekali macam bau asap mercun kan, so macam tulah, macam bau asap mercun, kan raya cina kan?! Mestilah banyak mercun, tension lak bau asap, sekali aku teringat lak takde letupan pun, lerrrrrrrr rupa-rupanya bau taik aku, aku berak keras, kan kalau berak keras bau dia macam hangus sikit. Huhuhu. Peace..

Boringnya abang penyangak hari nih. Kerja projek tak nak buat, aku tak tahu lah apa nak jadi dengan aku nih, takde future ke. Syudehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Takde cerita nak cerita lah weyyyyyyyyy walaweyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Apa aku nak cerita nih? Bila Cik Edah nak buat lawak lagi. Huhuhu.

Cik Edah ooooooo Cik Edah bila nak buat lawak lagi? Huhuhu.

Jom kita layan Remy Shand - Rocksteady.

Rocksteady can't wreck myyyy worlddddddd apa entah bla bla bla oh how I how I often tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Anyway, hmm, serious aku takde idea doh nak tulis apa kat sini. Hmm.

Ohh dulu masa sekolah ada budak nih nama dia Alex, aku suka ejek dia jalan mengonek, wahkrhkahkga, pasal dia jalan mengonek, kira dia macam terkangkang pastu konek macam kedepan, senang cerita mengonek lah, pastu kat poket belakang ada macam radio keluar antenna, apa entah pastu ada sikat apa ntah. Wahrkakghkahkga, macam kimak doh..

Okay check this. Ex-gf aku bengang dengan ex-bf dia (lelaki yang jadi bf dia lepas clash dengan aku), pasal to her, the guy played her (Fuck I know what really happened), then the guy mula nak baik dengan aku (ex-gf aku cakap cause maybe dia nak korek rahsia kami berdua dulu), the guy is a friend to my friend anyway, and aku bukan jenis nak musuh-musuh, and anyway, aku tak pernah judge the guy, cause to me, he might be innocent, he once explained the shit to me, and I understand, so what lah kan, he's an okay guy, so dia mula nak baik dengan aku, then ex-gf was like, kalau you kawan dengan dia, you have to forget about me, I mean, yeah either him or her lah. I was like, fuck I never had an enemy and I'm not about to start making 'em, so fuck it, aku pun dah tak kesah sangat, it's not like she gives a fuck about me or how much I love her. Fuck it..

Anyway, dengar pasal the rape thingy, mulalah kecoh kat t.v semua (If I hear about a news believe me it's big cause I never gave a fuck about the world). This is typical Malaysia lah, dah terhantuk baru nak terngadah. Forget about it, you can't do shit about it, God gave you RULES for your country, you went for a fucked up human version of rules with the majority based on westernized bullshit, this is what you get. I'm not saying anything, but that's it right, cause a wiseman once said, kalau kita buat benda bukan ikut cara Tuhan tetapkan, jangan harap lah He's gonna help us. If we do it his way, no matter how doubtful or hard it is, fact is, He's gonna help us. Anyway, so at TV3 people were calling right to give pendapat, and the majority started suggesting things like hukuman ikut Al-Quran semua kan, and the hosts were such idiots, don't you realize TV3 is supposed to be a government ass-kissing station, hahaha, and people were calling in, allthough they sound harmless, peep the content idiots, it had "Hudud" spelled all over it.

People will never realize that only God knows what's good for us. Fuck the feeble human mind. Everything laid upon us by God has a reason. Okay I'm gonna stop being a hypocrite now, hahaha, cause swearing is a sin. Hahaha. Peace..

Mint Shit

Kat rumah nih kat toilet bowl kannnn, my Momma letak this pewangi thingy and it's minty, so macam masa aku berak kan dia punya aura masuk dalam asshole tauuuu, so asshole aku macam berangin, sedapnyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and then lepas berak kan, aku amik tahi aku, aku makan, uhhhh, macam chewing gum. Sure kentut aku wangi lepas nih, so beranginnnnnnnnnnnnn..

Abang Penyangak Tengah Bengang

So I was in the maybank kawanku thingy right, to withdraw some money. So there was two atm open right, so I was behind this guy right, and he was sooooo fucking slow one, it's like 4-5 people have already settled their shit in the next atm, and I can't move on to the next cause it's quite a line allthough it's moving, what the fuck is this guy doing, my first guess was he was illiterate right, it's like he has to spell out everything before pressing the button in case he gets the shit wrong, C-A, kuh, S-H shhhh, CASH!, W-I weee, argh you get what I mean lah, my second guess was he's a dumbass, once he managed to speel it out CASH WITHDRAWAL, he didn't fucking know what it meant, so he, he sucks lah that's my point, fucker, it's a fucking ATM machine not a daytona usa game you fuck. What an idiot. Good thing the security people came to put in money in the ATM and all of us had to get out and wait, and the dumbass actually walked away, the security guy told us to wait you dumbfuck, see! What an idiot! Arghhhh I'm pissed..

Huhuhu

Ais krim zaman sekarang nih hampeh betul ah, banyak sangat hybrid, aku pergi kedai runcit nak a fucking simple vanilla flavoured ice cream, tak tak dapat jack! Semua kalau boleh nak mix blood, coklat campur vanilla lah, durian campur pisang lah, rambutan campur bulu jembut lah. Fuck betul lah.

Ha! korang tak leh lawan punyaaaaa, tandas CC aku nih ada kipas, ada berani? Kipas yang melekat kat tepi dinding tuh. Badabing Badarunnnnnn..

Apokono Eh

Kalau dah bosan tuh bosanlah jugak. Bangun pergi kelas buat muka puki pasal malas nak belajar, pastuh balik, tak menggunakan langsung kehadiran awek-awek bertudung untuk mencuci mata, mengapa? Sebab bosan, kalau dah bosan tuh bosanlah jugak. Kalaulah ada awek sorang koyak baju ke takpe jugak. Aduh, aku hari tuh ada idea nak tulis sini tapi aku lupa, isk, tension tolllllllllllllah..

Perang Tuuuuu

Boring Nye Pasal

Main CS. Lama-lama semua belah tinggal aku lawan dua orang. So aku bosan gila, aku buat ah macam nak lawan pisau je kan, mula-mula dua orang tuh tak faham, lama-lama diaorang faham ah, so aku lepak sorang, lonely stand-by dengan pisau, pastu dua orang tuh melompat datang dengan pisau gak, diaorang menghampiri, aku picit 1, hahaha, ak-47 aku tembak dua dua hancur. Wakrhahkghkakgha. Puas Puas Puas. Takpun aku berlakon macam aku dah keluar pc tapi tak tutup CS so character aku macam kaku ah dengan pistol, mereka menghampiri, aku picit 1, hahaha, submachine gun, TRAT-TAT-TAT. Ape-ape ah, aku dah gila kot. Peace..

Movies

Tengok Last Samurai. Best doooooooooooooooooooooooo. Tengok Love Don't Cost A Thing, bodoh dooooooooooooooo..

One Utamo

Anyway. Aku pergi one utama ada hal sikit, pastu kan, aku nak pergi tandas, aku termasuk tandas perempuan. Wakrahkghkakgkha. takde ah kelakar sangat, tapi kelakar ah, pasal ada perempuan dalam tuh tengah betul rambut ke apa entah, dia tengok aku jap, pastu dia sambung betulkan rambut dia, tak jerit ke apa ke pun macam dalam movie tuh. Warahkkhga. Anyway, pastu nak bayar parking masuk tiket, kan mesin tuh macam ada perempuan cakap, "insert ticket", pastu apakelanchau ntah, suara dia sengau doh..

Lama aku tak blog ek. Tekanan doh. Huhuhu. Kat rumah nih, malas nak balik Universitas. Huhuhu. Apalah sangat. Apa nak jadi dengan aku nih..

Aku termimpi aku jatuh cinta dengan seorang perempuan..