a few things that i just don't know right now

who's leading this country
i heard they changed prime ministers. so the last guy has now been replaced by the new guy who used to be second to the last guy wait what who's the last guy again? and who's the new guy, what? or did the opposition succeed in taking over this country, they've been in the news quite a lot lately or so i assume wait what are we a communist country now? or are we taliban? or are we still whatever we were feudal-monarchy or was it monarch-democracy, wait who's parameswara? wait what? anyway... we have a prime minister?

where cambodia is
or is it the same country as vietnam? where is it exactly. is it a part of asia, or is it an island somewhere. is it one of those countries where dragons exist and shit. and about that, does it even exist?!, or does it now exist with a different name, wait don't tell me cambodia is now malaysia? malaysia is our country right? right? shit.

if singapore is still part of our country, which is... malaysia, right?
i mean i went there the other day and there was some passport action but told the guy at the counter "dude, i only show passports in foreign lands like sweden and shit, this looks like the same as back there to me" *pointing towards the other end of the bridge*, he looked at me, and then he looked at me again with a solemn face like mr whatever, i'm just doing my job please i didn't sleep last night it was karaoke night and i forgot to take coffee this morning, plus i forgot to brush my teeth and this new mint i tried despite the newness and the cool case wasn't minty at all i don't need this shit right now especially from someone as normal looking as you just please just i don't know, sigh... so out of compassion i showed my passport anyway. once i got there, okay there's a lot of difference actually. for one, in kl if the distance from somewhere to somewhere else exceeds one block, we drive. yes, even if we can see our destination from here as long as it's technically more than one block we fucking drive. if we could we would drive from our apartments into the elevator to the 7-eleven downstairs. over here, a lot of walking is involved. so i guess singapore is not a part of malaysia anymore afterall, but i can't be too sure. i guess i'll have to check the history books, or is it geography? maybe both, either way i don't have any of those so i guess we end this here.

what is the purpose of everything

like dude seriously when you're lying there i'm pretty sure sometimes you think about this like WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS? wow hands you look at your hands and be like, what hands? wow what? hands, and then you move it about, wow how did this happen? and then you start touching your face and you're like what what is this why is this like this why, what did this come from. and you stand up and look at your bed, wow this is a fucking bed! a bed, why is it called a bed? why and what? what the fuck is it? why am i wearing this, wait what, why am i not a mole or a dragon or a argkh. and then you start having feelings and insecurities shit and you're like but why, why do i succumb to this why can't i just jump around all day and not worry bout a thing, and you look outside and you're like this and that, we have come so far, wow but what is this, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? what are all these buildings? why are they shaped like that? is that space out there, why can't i breathe in space? so i'm trapped in this earth, i'm trapped here. i can't go there, wherever or whatever there it. and if there's a there, is someone in there also thinking WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS. and then you run around your neighbourhood in the nude with your undies on your head. wait... the fuck you do that for? sheesh........fahcken looosah.

why my winamp keeps shuffling to boyzone songs
and why do i have boyzone songs in my winamp in the first place anyway. back in the 90's my musically-cool friend dismissed them as "lagu bohjan". which means i don't know figure out yourself. so i had to listen to at least nirvana or cooler shit like alice cooper and shit all day to not be labelled as "pendengar lagu bohjan". now it's the year, wait what year is this?

what year this is
just kidding, i know what year this is, it's two thousand something, and we're like in the first quarter or something, and today is like that day that's almost the weekends or something. smart old me.

what i am

i know they label me as a human. or am i really. or are we all animals and all animals are humans. i'm pretty sure those fucking dolphins are laughing at us. douchebags. you know what, some people suspect i'm taking mushrooms. but let me tell you something, if i was to take mushrooms, i would really enjoy my life right now. like what is all this. sometimes i wish this was the movies. and it's a rainy day. and i'm in a bar somewhere drinking, i don't drink of course, but it would be really tragically romantic if i did. i would be just drinking, you know looking down at the table, thinking about why this and why that and why not this and why not that. the bartender ignoring me and shit. fuck it i have my liquor whatever brand it is, i have my guts, all i have to do is fill it with my liquid companion. you are my friend, but i am drinking you, because once you are inside me, you become a much better friend, we bond more. while the smiths is playing in the background, i don't know what song cause i'm not familiar with them but that voice and that style of singing is just perfect for tonight. wait this doesn't make sense, what bar would play the smiths. but anyway yes, and there's only a few people in here. well fuck 'em, fuck 'em upside the brains. i'm here with my cold companion, i don't wanna pay attention to anything but me, i don't wanna make sense of anything, i just wanna magnify whatever it is that's eating inside me. wait what the fuck am i going on about here. next thing you know i'll be playing the harmonica and riding into the sunset in my mustang with no tears in my eyes cause the wind has dried it all fuck it all the fuck hell yeah that would be badass though.

if i could survive a boxing match with a chimpanzee
i mean seriously those fuckers are jacked as shit. they've got muscles for days yo. i've never really encountered a chimpanzee physically as in touched them or shit. i'm not bad at boxing, i've got like the basics, i kinda stopped learning halfway cause my instructor kinda had some hand injury or something. that's gotta count for something. i mean your instructor injuring his hand instead of you. but still i haven't learned that much but you know i've got a little bit of the basics, i can throw a punch homie prolly i just haven't ever tested my impulses in an actual situation. i've never faced a human, let alone a chimpanzee. i mean i could probably somehow predict what human movements would be like but chimpanzees, i don't have much jungle experience so like seriously dude, could i survive this. the chimpanzee might have an advantage in that he's low, with a low center of gravity, and of course i can't see him with my line of sight. but at the same time, i have longer arms and all that, that could be manipulated. everything could be manipulated to your own advantage that's just the rule of the law.

if i could ever pull off a robert smith
lord isn't he just cute. and look at him danceyly jumping about here and there without a bollocking care. and that hair, that fucking hair. and what about that fucking look in that music video during that say we'll always be loike thisss part, wearing his jersey with his eyes and his makeup and his lips and his hands. this is why he is a superhero in southpark world. i could break a thousand hearts with this swag.

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anyway, penyangak, brah, get a fucking life.

you know you've hit a new low when you're telling yourself to get a life.

but then again, what fucking new low? as opposed to the old low? wahhukgeuakhga.

and by the way, i fucking love the low.

yeah well, screw you.

oooh i'm pissing my pants.

of course you are.

ergkh.

what's it all abouuttt, alllfieeeeeeeeeeeeeee?