Why do I feel so vulnerable right now. What should I write about right now, what is happening to me right now. I'll try to write crappy shit while waiting for something to cross my mind, some shit, some shit. Hmm, what's the next best thing after having someone to love or being in love? not having someone to love and being hurt. Don't you think being hurt is a pleasure? Like dayum, man, imagine driving at night alone, with light and easy on your speakers, and thinking about how much of a loser you are, nothing beats that to me, for now, emotion is not a weakness, emotion is not an excuse to be uncool, look at blues musicians, they got the blues mayne, are they cool? Yes they are. Man United, maybe I should write about me clubz I support, maybe I'll write a season end review, maybe, maybe. The Joga Bonito ads are pretty cool, very cool, goosebumps, CLICK HERE BEYOTCSH nearly had tears in my eyes, especially with Eric Cantona hosting that shit, he's a cool fuck, why did I love footie so much when I was a kid? Maradona, why did I support Man Utd? Ryan Giggs, why did I like Ryan Giggs? Cause he can dribble like Maradona, why did I like Eric Cantona? Cause he's a muthafuckah, footie is full of character and flair and and and and and beauty, "Never grow up, my friend". I had a perfect childhood.
Childhood?
Yes. Not talking about that. I feel sedated today, don't know why. Someone asked me why I don't smoke last night, "I don't know". Truly, I don't know, I feel it's because everyday my parents pray for me to be protected from shit, cause see, I'm lazy and stupid, but I've gotten good grades in school, I have a degree, it doesn't match with my effort, AT ALL. I'd be nowhere without this life given to me, this perfect life, everytime someone or something gives me a reason to be down or emotional, ok byez this is boring personal shit, anyway, how's your day my friend? Pada pendapat aku, like getdayum, aku tengah berfikir pasal satu bende nih, satu bende nih, pasal semalam aku berborak dengan seseorang dengan sangat lama, tetapi apa yang aku cakap sewaktu berborak, tak seperfect apa yang aku patut cakap, apa yang aku fikir aku patut cakap sewaktu itu selepas waktu itu ada faham? Lepas tuh, tengah berak, terkeluar ayat-ayat yang patut aku cakap, yang lebih perfect, dan lebih meaningful, tetapi, tetapi, tetapi, ini berlaku semasa aku tulis lirik untuk lagu lagu rap, lirik yang lebih aku suka setelah sekian lama adalah lirik yang aku tulis secara spontan tanpa berfikir panjang, dan cuma letakkan saja perkataan demi perkataan on the spot, ataupun ditambah dengan ayat ayat yang aku terfikir time berak atau drive, bukan sesuatu yang dirancang yang penuh dengan perancangan yang lantang dan gampang.
Yeke?
Ha'ah. Dulu aku selalu fikir untuk lagu ini, aku kena construct betul betul, kena guna perkataan perkataan power nih, kena betul betul bla bla fuck off, tapi entah ah, maybe to be good, things are not required to be literally perfect, but worldly perfect. Tiba tiba masuk ayat b.i. Jadi berbalik kepada itu perbualan, mana yang lebih bermakna dan feel - benda yang kau cakap in the heat of the moment, benda bodoh tak bermakna yang kau cakap tuh, benda yang tak perfect, dengan susunan ayat tunggang langgang dengan "errrrr" dengan penuh pause untuk berfikir dan kau akan menyesal tak cakap secara lebih perfect, ataupun benda yang kau cakap setelah kau plan semua ayat perkataan demi perkataan, mana yang lebih best? Mana yang lebih best? Aku tak tahu mana yang lagi best sebenarnya, aku selalu terfikir pasal nih, erghhhhhh, aku akan cakap yang lagi satu yang best, yang spontan, sebab sebenarnya aku fikir pasal nih sebab aku nak sedapkan hati aku bila aku tak dapat luahkan apa sebenar aku nak luah dengan susunan ayat yang aku nak, jadi setiap kali aku cakap dengan penuh tak perfect, aku tak nak menyesal, buleh ke macam nih? Sebab apa patut aku pedulik, sebab, keupayaan untuk tak dapat berkata-kata apa yang sepatutnya kau perkatakan jika kau dah fikir apa yang patut perkatakan sehari lalu, itu semua agaknya adalah sebahagian daripada aku, ataupun perangai aku, ataupun, arghghghhgh what the fuck, nanti kat jamban masa tengah berak aku akan terfikir patut aku buleh tulis entry dalam blog ini dengan lebih perfect dan profound dan insightful sehingga membuatkan awekz awekz terbaca jatuh cinta, arghhhhhhhhh fucking, pendejo homes fucking maricon. Anyway.
Yes, anyway.
"WHATEVER" - Is a way of life.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Gangster Unit
Bosan, huhu. dimana dimana dimanaaaaaaaa. Aku nak tengok cerita Gubra ah tapi aku malas doh nak tengok wayang. Asal diaorang kecoh sangat cam dengki kat direktor tuh, siapa nama eh, siapa tah lupa. Sebab aku rasa kalau filem-filem P. Ramlee keluar zaman ini, mesti kena condemn dan di dengki macam kebanyakan filem-filem independen kat sini, direktor-direktor melayu redneck mainstream style movie cakap bahasa melayu yang aku tak pernah dengar member aku cakap kecuali secara tak serious semua mesti ingat diaorang memperjuangkan seni melayu, tapi sorry ah cibai-cibai sekalian, aku rasa semangat P. Ramlee ada dalam hati hati direktor direktor yang jujur, yang tunjukkan kehidupan sosial sebenar, yang ditindas oleh "Pejuang-pejuang seni" yang banyak duit dan buleh shoot dengan filem sesuka hati tapi gambar cam puki jugak, lagi lawa shot digital minah yang direct Sepet ngan Gubra tuh. Anyway, server the serrvanttsssssoh nooooo.
Lagi satu, budaya? Fuck budaya, itu je aku nak cakap. Deem me raceless. Ada berani bincang pasal Islam? Movie korang ada berani nilaikan dengan hukum-hukum Islam? (Nih pasal diaorang cakap movie Gubra rosak budaya, apa lanchau budaya, buleh bawak kubur ke?)
Asal aku marah dengan orang orang-yang aku tak kenal nih. Wkahrkauhkgaeggka. Manusia.
Lagi satu, budaya? Fuck budaya, itu je aku nak cakap. Deem me raceless. Ada berani bincang pasal Islam? Movie korang ada berani nilaikan dengan hukum-hukum Islam? (Nih pasal diaorang cakap movie Gubra rosak budaya, apa lanchau budaya, buleh bawak kubur ke?)
Asal aku marah dengan orang orang-yang aku tak kenal nih. Wkahrkauhkgaeggka. Manusia.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Dia Berkata
The Pharcyde - she said (DJ Premier remix) (LAYANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
See, I always use this temantapimesra term in convoz sometimez. So I read Judd explaining the term in his blog in detail. I actually have never heard the song nor know the meaning of the term. All this while I've always thought it meant fuck buddy, wahrkhahkga, thanks Judd, whoever you are, for clearing that up. However I wanna stay ignorant, so fuck buddy it is. Wakhrkahkahkga.
Am I mature? I like someone, but that doesn't mean you want that someone fuck everyone else she has, maybe it just means you want to know that someone better, if it was meant to be worry none me will be, it will be, this may be, the first time I feel and act this way, I'm so cool negro. Comin' through rocking cikickikickic wild like rock starsss who smash guitarrrs. Peace.
See, I always use this temantapimesra term in convoz sometimez. So I read Judd explaining the term in his blog in detail. I actually have never heard the song nor know the meaning of the term. All this while I've always thought it meant fuck buddy, wahrkhahkga, thanks Judd, whoever you are, for clearing that up. However I wanna stay ignorant, so fuck buddy it is. Wakhrkahkahkga.
Am I mature? I like someone, but that doesn't mean you want that someone fuck everyone else she has, maybe it just means you want to know that someone better, if it was meant to be worry none me will be, it will be, this may be, the first time I feel and act this way, I'm so cool negro. Comin' through rocking cikickikickic wild like rock starsss who smash guitarrrs. Peace.
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