Thursday, October 14, 2010

i don't want a new malaysia (part 1)

i don't want to change the world
i don't a new malaysia
i just want to fucking say things

- a song that doesn't exist loosely based on a song that exists.


1malaysia is a great concept, sure it's underlyingly farcical but it will ultimately become the downfall of them racist pricks who rule this country. because the planting of this slogan will unite everyone who actually believe in and aspire for the idea to eventualize. before this the plight against racism was disorganized term-wise but now it's like, yo, 1malaysia biatch, fuck you.

to me in order to achieve the true meaning of 1malaysia, which is defined by me because i am malaysia and not the false bullshit taught by biro tatanegara, we have to forget our international roots. whatever your race is, you have to forget whatever country it's associated with, forget your cousins or your ancestors. the chinese, forget china or hong kong or whatever, the indians forget india, sri lanka or whatever, the malays, forget indonesia, philippines, thailand, or whatever. the whatevers, forget the whatever, or whatever.

let's get back to the basics, and create a new culture, a new us, a new we. disown whatever our ancestors made culturally compulsory and let's create our own.

for example, we love to park lawlessly everywhere, let's officially make it our culture, put it in the history books. in the middle of a roundabout? why not. triple parking? this is malaysia. fuck, if they invented a car that could climb stairs, we'd park right beside the receptionist, reverse sensors all beeping while she's distractedly trying to answer the calls, why the shit not.

what else? greasy deep-fried food? i'm pretty sure that's very malaysian. we've heard of those mediterranean people with very good skin leading very healthy lives and what not what with the olive oil and all that shit but they're faggots and we're malaysians, we produce badass palm oil or something by the dozens so we cook everything with a baldi-full of that ish my man (oh yeah, mixing up various languages and under-pronouncing it, should be our new official language.) you want healthy food? fuck, i heard fruits are healthy, put that fucking banana into that burning hot lake of oily goodness, goreng pisang!

clothes? i'll think of one, the kebaya was already a fusion of malay and chinese right? expose them belly buttons, add a a thin cloth around it and boom! - kebayasari.

malaysian time - i'm proud to say is an internationally recognized trademark. anybody "too punctual" to a government job interview should be compulsorily rejected immediately for bastardizing our culture, how dare they. to be honest, just to prove how malaysian i am i confess i was actually late to writing this entry, i was supposed to do it an hour ago.

this is just the beginning, i am only randomly shitting out spontaneous suggestions and i've already got a few. there are so many things we could employ, it will be so much easier to just refer to our lives and properly brainstorm once we start over together as just malaysians.

of course we can't forget completely where we came from so maybe we could create a hero from a combination of heroes from the countries of our roots and build a statue.

in my honest opinion, to contemporarize this monument, it should be a combination of superstar rajinikanth + donnie yen + ariel peterpan.

and on the plaque accompanying it, is written - "FUCK YEAH MALAYSIA".

9 comments:

slay said...

hahaha nice one!

cannot wait for part 2! :D

penyelamat dunia said...

thanks. i am seriously not sure if there is ever going to be a part 2 since i only put part 1 there to make the title look cool. that doesn't even make sense, i have no idea what i am doing.

Jiyuu said...

Fuck yeah Malaysia!!!!

sofea said...

cool. fuck yeah malaysia! :D

penyelamat dunia said...

yeah ninja whuut

jujits said...

kesian but u grow out of it. u r not fucking european or fucking mat salleh. so u r stuck in fucking malaysia. reminds me of
ramli ibrahim. he was so fucking confident that the mat salleh would welcome him but australia fucking chase him out and he ended dancing his keling dance in kl among the kelings..hahahaha

hmm maybe u dont know this fucking guy..

ur problem is caused by too much free time spent on fucking hollywood films made by jewish actors and producers and atheists and agnostics. Fucking jumble your brain shit ass.

so how to balance with your remnants of ugama. Still clinging to yr fucking religious ustaz hehehe

I got this gem from ur fucking inane postings.

"there is another thing i don't get at all. some girls are so pissed off when they are pressured into wearing the hijab and would be ever ready to lash out if society presume they are whores cause of the way they dress. but they would also be the first to condemn whenever a hijab-ed girl does something indecent as if a hijab-ed girl is supposed to be a decent human being just because she is wearing the hijab."

Muahaha that is so funny coming from a fucking liberal malay wannabe hippy.

I think it belongs to the most fucking stupid statements ive fucking read...kehkehkeh.

penyelamat dunia said...

not this idiot again. zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

weed and bandages said...

wow

wafie said...

what do you all think, is malaysia has change the name from malaysia to 1malaysia? just wanna know what you all think. before this, cuti-cuti malaysia, now its cuti-cuti 1malaysia. do give oppinion about it.