Thursday, February 05, 2009

classic love story dialogue

girl - "hmm.. can i see it?" (extending legs to touch "it" with feet)
man - "ahh ohh errhh argh"

g - "can i see?" (trying to open something so she could see "it")
m - "i don't i don't err i don't err she thought they were gross"

g - "me too well at least i think i do.. but i've never really seen it close before, can i just look at it?" (still probing)
m - "errr err uh i don't think that's a good idea UH" (nervously)

g - (succesfully getting "it" out in the open) "WOW!"
m - "uhumpr"

g - "how do you walk with that thing?!"
m - "uh" (still nervous, looking around)
g - "is it heavy?" (enthusiastically)
m - "umm.. no. no. .. not really. mm"

g - "woaw! it's so soft.. and warm and.. it's actually not that bad.. i mean.."
m - "akh"
g - "so what's it like when it's hard is it heavier?!" (again, enthusiastically)
m - "um uh.. no.. no..." (squirming)

g - "can i see?!" (again, enthusiastically, in a kindergarten i just saw a snail for the very first time kinda way)
m - "umm what why"
g - "but it's like hard.."
m - "umm listen.. urm, i'm not very comfortable with this at all" (way to state the obvious chuck) "i mean somebody could.. they could.."

g - (totally ignorant of anything else but her wonderment) "WOAW look at that! it's like a timelapse photograph.. it's kinda like a little lamp.. if i rub it will a genie come out?"
m - "umph.. listen.. you better... stop umm"
g - "am i hurting you?"
m - "no.. no.. it doesn't.... 'hurt'.."
g - "does it feel good?"
m - "ukh.. ahh.." (shaking head with a smile which is really neither a yes or a no but obviously a yes)

..

g - "so how many tonsils have you killed? 1.. 2........... twelve?"

m - "ummmmmmmmm. no please. uawrgkh........ arrgkhhhhhhhhh"

g - "UWOAOW!" (in a loud surfer dude kinda way, think sean penn in fast times, this actually applies to all the other WOAWs as well)

m - "argkhhhhhhhhh"

g - "look at that thing! japanese or what! guys it's whoooshh"

m - "oh shit"

..

(two women appear out of nowhere looking shocked)

(still shocked)

(one of them faints and falls straight to the ground)

(girl and man looks down)

-end-

4 comments:

bangkai said...

penyangak

Er... ever thought of writing a screenplay, bro?

penyangak said...

actually i quoted this from a porn clip i possess.

but i get your point though, if it was me that came up with this gem i would've considered writing screenplay myself. it's underrated genius.

long live porn.

Anonymous said...

http://pupok.tv/video/1003/ruchnaja_rabota.php

now i just need the title

Anonymous said...

www.xcritic.com/reviews/read.php?ID=21589