Thursday, February 05, 2009

classic love story dialogue

girl - "hmm.. can i see it?" (extending legs to touch "it" with feet)
man - "ahh ohh errhh argh"

g - "can i see?" (trying to open something so she could see "it")
m - "i don't i don't err i don't err she thought they were gross"

g - "me too well at least i think i do.. but i've never really seen it close before, can i just look at it?" (still probing)
m - "errr err uh i don't think that's a good idea UH" (nervously)

g - (succesfully getting "it" out in the open) "WOW!"
m - "uhumpr"

g - "how do you walk with that thing?!"
m - "uh" (still nervous, looking around)
g - "is it heavy?" (enthusiastically)
m - "umm.. no. no. .. not really. mm"

g - "woaw! it's so soft.. and warm and.. it's actually not that bad.. i mean.."
m - "akh"
g - "so what's it like when it's hard is it heavier?!" (again, enthusiastically)
m - "um uh.. no.. no..." (squirming)

g - "can i see?!" (again, enthusiastically, in a kindergarten i just saw a snail for the very first time kinda way)
m - "umm what why"
g - "but it's like hard.."
m - "umm listen.. urm, i'm not very comfortable with this at all" (way to state the obvious chuck) "i mean somebody could.. they could.."

g - (totally ignorant of anything else but her wonderment) "WOAW look at that! it's like a timelapse photograph.. it's kinda like a little lamp.. if i rub it will a genie come out?"
m - "umph.. listen.. you better... stop umm"
g - "am i hurting you?"
m - "no.. no.. it doesn't.... 'hurt'.."
g - "does it feel good?"
m - "ukh.. ahh.." (shaking head with a smile which is really neither a yes or a no but obviously a yes)


g - "so how many tonsils have you killed? 1.. 2........... twelve?"

m - "ummmmmmmmm. no please. uawrgkh........ arrgkhhhhhhhhh"

g - "UWOAOW!" (in a loud surfer dude kinda way, think sean penn in fast times, this actually applies to all the other WOAWs as well)

m - "argkhhhhhhhhh"

g - "look at that thing! japanese or what! guys it's whoooshh"

m - "oh shit"


(two women appear out of nowhere looking shocked)

(still shocked)

(one of them faints and falls straight to the ground)

(girl and man looks down)



Anonymous said...


Er... ever thought of writing a screenplay, bro?

penyangak said...

actually i quoted this from a porn clip i possess.

but i get your point though, if it was me that came up with this gem i would've considered writing screenplay myself. it's underrated genius.

long live porn.

Anonymous said...

now i just need the title

Anonymous said...