Jurassic Fifteen

What is the significance of Jackson 5 in my life?

I'm about to reveal a secret that won't be too surprising in this world chokeful of psychos and post rock.

When I was little I had 4 brothers, one younger, the others older, we all wore jackets in different colours, I wore red because Michael Jackson wore red in the "beat it" video. This is not too far off from Jackson 5 when Randy came in allthough they should've been Jackson 6 by that time, I think, fuck I know too lazy to wikipedia.

By the time I was 11, they were no longer by my side, I wasn't sad, I just moved on, this was around the time I started to develop full-blown boners which felt slightly uncomfortable at first, watching "oriental massage" with my friends after skipping school.

Why the entry drought - Cause I don't have a life to write about.

What's on my playlist and why? (Cause people give two fucks) :-

• One Be Lo - decepticons
  cause he can flow AND sample.



• Big L - da graveyard
  cause he "gets more pussy by accident than otha niggaz get on purpose".



• The Clash - police on my back
  cause this song is so cute and geeky despite about well, police being on their backs.



• The Clash - rudie can't fail
  cause of the way "what i neeedddd i just don'ttt haveeeeee" is delivered ... and how "fail" was pronounced, ruuuudieee can'tt fiaaaiialalllll



• Sham69 - if the kids are united
  cause, uh well, i dunno, this should be a school anthem or suttin'.



• Operation Ivy - sound system
  cause i love them.



• Operation Ivy - bad town
  cause they fucking rule, duh? and this is where half of Rancid originated.



• Naughty by Nature - hip hop hooray
  cause hip hop anthems used to have a simple formula - bangin' beat + emcees who could spit, come on who the fuck wants to fuck with Treach's steez?



• Redman - put it down
  cause Redman and Timbaland are the kings of club bangaz, i wonda if they play this shit in ghetto heaven



• Nine - whutcha want
  cause his voice makes frequencies run for they lives.



• Organized Konfusion - black sunday
  cause Pharoahe Monch can sing, and sounds betta on beats like this.



• Bounty Killer - mad n psycho
  cause dancehall djs can kill you with their voices alone (by dancehall i mean dancehall not seandapaul). and dancehall clash crowds do not throw hands in the air, they throw flames, yes, pure fucking fire.



• Jackson 5 - i wanna be where you are
  cause mj sings betta as kid, and his brothers provided him the best backdrop.



• Jackson 5 - gotta be there
  cause this is the most jiwangest song in the world, and big nosed mj, is the shit.



• Jackson 5 - maybe tomorrow
  cause this is what Ghostface sampled for his classic song, and Ghostface like J5, RULEZ yo azz



• Mobb Deep - hit it from the back
  cause they are the evil bruvaz of Kriss Kross, can y'all not tell from the title of the track.



• Incognito - still hip hop (radio edit)
  cause the yellow bastard on the vocals, and the chink fuck on the boom bapopals, they are the future



• Smif-N-Wessun - bucktown
  cause of the classic jazz sample and how ghetto rap should be delivered.



• Ras Muhammad - money feat. Diplomats International
  cause this indo dude can raga and I like Mistah's voice and flow.



• Heltah Skeltah - letha brainz blow
  cause this is what's gangsta.



• Pete Rock & CL Smooth - i got a love
  cause Pete Rock rocks the horns like no other

..Man i suck at punctuating

JEAH

MANURE HAS WON!

BUCKB UCBK BUCK

wateva


AND THE WINNAHHHH ISZZZZZZ





MANUREEEE


GLORORORRYYYYYY

World Peace Day

man i just came back from warming down after the war

i was in a war man, but i was late for it, i was in all black, dawg, i was the shit, i sniped muthafuckaz with the crossbow, nilla what?!

i was the shit, the queen loved me, she gave me a medallion so i could go in and out the castle as i please.

that's what you get for sleeping 12 hours from evening to morning

can't help it i didn't sleep the night before cosa some girl, her name was uefa champs league

i went to work half concious, and it was a 1 and a half hour drive

i set my alarm to when i'm supposed to be in work place so that once i get to car park, i could just sleep for a while, for a while

got in, boss still not in, went to take a nice ass shit

it's not unusual for me not to sleep on a work day, but i think it's because when i was taking a shower i didn't take a shit, usually i needed to shit, but this day i didn't need to shit, so i had to shit at the work place, a nice shit, nice one, washed the face

today's a long day at work, and by long day i mean half day to you normal working people whaukukhgkuea

got home, surfed for a while, fetched the sista, and i was off to war..........


don't you dudes think that ebony bullshit on fly fm's morning show is lame?

not only do i not see the difference between normal speaking and ebonics other than "brace yourself foo" or "pimp" here and there, it was just awkward, they always get the shit wrong. like for instance when they ebonified "fly fm is the best station" or something like that theyll just use the same sentence and add pimp tight or brace yourself foo what the fuck what, the right phrase should be "fly fm is the fucking shit........................nahhmean?! cleopatra in the casinos, nahmsayin?!". like wut-e-va.

Raja Serious

apeeeeee siak dah lama tak update blog. argkh, memang confirm aku nih batang. bosan bosan. ape cite?! bosan memang bosan, takde life kecuali hip hop, hip hop hip hoi kjhp ip ipho lk hhik hok yak ak auwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

ada banyak benda aku patut dah blog by now. antaranya :-

movie2 dah tengok - tak banyak pasal line tengah hot, 300 was gay, this is england quite nice, cerita pasal budak kecik join skinheads, skinheads yang ikut tradisi skinheads original nih pastuh kena kacau dengan member lama yang dah jadi racist dan kena pikat national front whateva. apa lagi ntah.

beastie boys dan j5 di singapore!!!!!!! - muthafuckah aku patut blog pasal betapa gilanya trip nih sebab muthafuckah, beastie boys and j5! dapat lepak dengan bebudak bebudak divineaura yang sempoi, dapat mengarut dengan diaorang sambil mengantuk. excite! excite! very nice!

dj premier - ini dah lama gak berlalu tapi one of the best nights of ma fuckin' life y'alllll?! dj premier wey, aku sepatutnya blog pasal mula mula masuk aku macam takut pasal the usual ghetto heaven music was playihngn, and skali primo masuk dia bunuh semua orang doh dengan apa yang dia main cara dia mixing bla bla bla LEGEND Mafakazzzzzzz siapa tak setuju meh sini aku bedok guna suduuu

oh yeah, how i fucked up on the ronaldo dissing part, man i havent been blogging in a minute, i dissed him, and he goes out giving me hard-ons for the whole season, but still i doubt he's loyal, he's a mighty talent, but he's a mercenary.

jadi korang bayangkan jelah aku dah blog pasal tuh semua. aku bukan apa. i guess this blog shit isn't in me, this diary diary shit.

aku teringat masa aku kecik dulu, aku ada try buat diari sikit. last last aku buang diari tuh sebab takut bapak aku jumpa, aku tak tahu aku dah citer ke pasal nih, ini semua pasal masa darjah 5 tuh masa bulan puasa aku cakap pergi masjid dengan kekawan bapak aku tadehal ah dia kasi aku pergi tak saing dengan dia, aku tak tipu pun memang aku pergi masjid, masjid kat keramat permai tuh ada bukit kat tepi dia, aku maen mercun kat situ, yang paling kelakar ada sekali kena serang tak ingat dunia dengan rival team, diaorang guna mercun das, kitorang banyak guna moonwalker dengan a-bomb kecik je, sekali kena serang member semua lari berkelapaii merata rata, aku rilek je pergi lepak dengan abang indon macam aku part of the gang, geng mercun das tak perasan diaorang attack member aku yang lari je. wkahgeakhukgaea gila bodoh, aku pernah cerita ke nih, tak ingat.

lagi satu aku masih simpan diari besar tuh walau dah tingkatan 3 camtuh tapi aku koyak lah bahagian mercuns tuh, masa besar kau macam tegelak gelak apa lanchau gelaabah nak mampoz masa kecik tapi time kecik memang cuak duhhh don't fuck around. oh lagi satu aku masa darjah 5 aku suka 4U2C so dalam diari tuh aku lukis katun katun 4U2C and i think it was Nico, kira rap tak ingat ah nih time darjah 5, tapi rap melayu, apa buleh buat, duduk kat area brownies, so macam masa aku dah masuk sekolah menengah kat j.b pulak, time tuh dah zaman aku layan rock pulak, nirvana, ratm, metallica, sepultura apekelanchau semua rock yang popular dulu ah kat sekolah masa 90 an, jadi member aku pun rata-rata macam tuh, paling kurang nirvana, takpun The UKAYS, gempak tuh ukays dengar kat bas sekolah setiap hari, so macam ada satu hari tuh member aku kantoi kan aku nye lukisan 4U2C tuh, gila malu siak kena kutuk, haq rap wey yo yo yo yo yo, gila malu siak, rap kira hina ah. so sejak dari tuh aku full-on rock. dan sekarang tengok apa dah jadi, once you go hik hok you cannot escape tooo thaaa voideeargkhhhh. promise kepada pembaca-pembaca aku yang tak wujud aku akan update selalu. peace out nilla.

TV Talk About Radio

What is wrong with this world, two of my favourite TV series, or prolly best generally - House and The Wire, they both have british actor as the leading character/asshole, House has this guy, and The Wire has this guy.

They're both so good at accents they can carry the US accent very convincingly and when called upon in the series to mimick a limey accent as a US citizen - they do it badly, get it, a US citizen mimicking a limey accent and sounding like an asshole.

Also, not forgetting the coolest character with the coolest dialogues in the whole wide world, Al Swearengen from Deadwood. At first I thought he was a US actor who can do a mild limey accent and is blessed with a script full of british humour, then I realized I had the internet and thus am able to do some mild research, he is played by this guy, a fucking brit. Fucking cunts, arsehole, arseprick.

I'm currently watching House as it goes. But this month alone, I've finished all fucking three seasons of The fucking Wire, it is so fucking sick I went non stop with it, stopping only to get out of the house to get some air. Now I need the fourth season, I've stopped going to the pirate, I don't think it's still out in pirate land yet, so I'm trying to download that shit. Man it is so sick I'm gonna write about why it is the shit.

Why The Wire is the shit

• Season 1 has a real cool theme song (A nice remake of Tom Waits' way down in the hole)
  
  
• The arsehole leading actor cop fucks anything that moves and goes about his job like he owns the fucking police department and doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything other than pussy, beer, and police work
  
  
• The conflict in the drug gang - between two leaders - the old school gangbanger and the business-minded fuck, the business-minded fuck being one of my favourite characters
  
  
• The lesbo cop is cool
  
  
• The old cop who does miniature doll furnitures to kill time is cool
  
  
• The earlier story about the guy in dilemma between gangsterism and straightism was nice
  
  
• At one point in season one some random dude in the background shouted "Wu Tang killah bees"
  
  
• Method Man was featured in season two and three, and I think the Onyx guy was some insignificant muscle who got punked by Omar
  
  
• Omar (Every drug dealer's nightmare) is the muthafucking shit, even tho he's a faggot, yes a real one, and no he's not a cop, he robs drug dealers
  
  
• The port union story in season 2 was pretty nice even tho it started quite slow
  
  
• How the cops had to manouvre between having fucked up equipment and fucked up career police politics was pretty cool
  
  
• Dialogues are cool, realistic, funny, wokeva
  
  
• The lieutenant is cool
  
  
• How the series started by focusing on one gang, then it evolves into paying attention to the other gangs, from the old school ones to the new school with this one young'n bad cold muthufucka by the name of Marlo
  
  
• The fucking sex scenes, and how they go about them, like my favourite was this one where Jimmy (The arsehole cop) was drunk as fuck, ends up in a diner, waiter comes, he looks at the waiter *ZAS* AHHA hhahhh fuck scene
  
  
• The "Fuck" scene, where Jimmy and his old partner Bunk was checking a murder scene, and all they muttered for 5 mintues were variations of "Fuck"
  
  
• The dialogues between them blacks didn't annoy me, they were really cool, or maybe just because it was near NY, seriously ebonics usually annoy me for some reason, but these negros were cool as fuck with it, numsayin
  
  
• AND FUCKING OTHERS ETC., fuck it I hate making lists on the top of the dome, fuck

Okay that's done. Why do I love House? Cause of House, he's a cool muthafuckah. Anyway about Deadwood tho, I kinda left after season one cause I hate cowboys but if there's one reason to see it, it's Al Swearengen, his fucking dialogue.

Back to The Wire, it's a pity that it's not so popular and well promoted as much as Grey's Anatomy, everyone seems to like that show, okay I admit I watch it too, but compared to shit like House and shit, it's fucking shite. They have one good character, that Alex fuck, but he has as much screentime as a monkey in One Tree Hill. And how annoying is that nerd fuck in One Tree Hill? What the fuck? What happened to nerds? Nerds used to be cool. Argkh fuck it, fuck the world like 2pac.

And The Wire prolly has the largest cast of good black actors. Seriously, these muthafuckaz can fucking ACT.

Something Strange Happens

Damn I can't believe I've been chatting with some of my friends for hours, looked at the clock - 3:10 AM. I had a long day, went out to eat at a very tacky place, even sitting down looking blur required energy. It's a windy early morning, it rained during the evening, now it's just cold and wet, I opened the windows, letting some air in - no way, close it - the wind is way too chilling, giving me unnecessary goosebumps. My arms are sore from slothing through the traffic jam on the way home from junction to junction, traffic jams at 10 PM, my muscles weren't prepared for it hence the extra tiresome effect. Oh well, maybe I should stop chatting and just lay on the bed to enjoy one of the dvds from yesterday's dvd rampage. But there's something discomforting about this night, a strange feeling, the same feeling you get when you're all alone in a big mansion working on a novel in the attic, a big tree within window view, wind blowing as if for no reason at all. I don't know, I opened the door, checked the study - my sister has already stopped chatting.

I guess I should switch off the wireless router, keep it fresh for the next broadband session, it's always good to not let your cheap ass appliances catch heat. Okay then, turn off the lights, put on a dvd, maybe a light comedic heartwarming movie to even out the chilly atmosphere of nature outside.

.....Okay this movie's not bad, but why the sad ending? I hate sad endings, I'm the type of guy who strongly feels that art is escape from reality, and in reality, I hate sadness, oh well I've been watching too much Hollywood I guess.

*Knock*Knock*

There's a knock on the front door, oh well I'm too lazy to get up, but no one else's downstairs. After much hesitation I headed to the front door during which I realize why would someone knock on the door when the gate is high and definitely not left open and we definitely have doorbells?! I panicked......Be cool you're a guy, it could be a family member for some odd reason, be cool, it could be an emergency, it could be a guy with a bloody head and one of the arms swinging around as it was out of his control since it was bitten off by the houndaifnhakSTOP okay be cool, open the door slowly.....

No one was there, I panicked again, I've heard such stories in my hometown of people getting heavy banging on the door and no one there when opened. But this was a light knock, I closed the door. However curiousity can sometimes overcome fear, maybe one of my socialite friend back from the club is pulling a prank on me. I waited for a while... 5 seconds........ 30 seconds..... I opened the door with one swift swing, a white object flies away from the door.

I hastily chased it. It was a piece of paper with something written on it :

Dear next door neighbour,

i know we don't talk much only the occasional smile or nod of the head, but i have always appreciated this one luxury you have always provided for me, you bless me with this one thing forbidden in my house as my parents see it as the devil. see i have a long distance girlfriend who i love so much and would never think of neglecting, i don't want to lose her, never! she needs my attention, and there is not one event better in my days than speaking to her, but since the world is not flat and her timezone is different i have had to wake up at unfortunate times to gain access to communication with her, and i understand u need to sleep and all, but i hope it's not rude of me to ask that you leave on your wireless router for a while longer, maybe u can let it rest when u're executing your morning urinatings since i'm pretty sure i'm cool by then, i usually only need a few hours with her on msn, usually around 4AM - 9AM. i sincerely hope u will think about this, thank you dear neighbour, smile or nod of the head to you later.

PS : Plz fix the doorbell, I nearly scratched my balls climbing your thief hating gate. ok byez


*I dedicate this entry to all wireless broadband parasites out there. WsffasaKUhgka.

Kopek Meme Besor

Ah fuck it, props to mr malay male for tagging me with a MEME, let's go

1. Who the fuck cares?
Tree huggers, hippies and PETA dicksuckers, they care about everything, even animals *gasp*

2. All I got from the NEP is a free bag of manure.
Pickup a fine lady, spread a plastic sheet on your bed, to be continued.

3. How much wood would Lee Kuan Yew chuck if Lee Kuan Yew could chuck wood?
He's chinese right? He won't be chucking wood, that's for indians and malays.

4. Who's sitting under the apple tree? No one else but me. Who's sitting under the apple tree? No one else but me.
"Fuck you hasselhoff" - The Saurus

5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Haha just kidding chickens are too stupid to know there's an other side.

6.What do you get when you cross KJ and a piano?
One midget fucking a pony, and another one fucking his ass.

7. Who the fuck are you?
A god fearing barbarian.

8. Fuck you.
How uncivilized of you to use such words oh survey or meme, wuteverr.

9. I want a Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba sandwich. With cheese.
Pizza Hut won't see this mozzarella fuckfest coming.

10. If you find out that you're going to die in three months and suddenly those three months are up and you're dead and went to Hell, where would you go?
Well, I'll go to hell, give satan a two weeks notice, get the fuck out, get back to earth, go back in time and invent blogs.

Shopping Complex

I walked into the elevator with a friend on the way to my room, the elevator rumbled for a while as if malfunctioning, it was then released underwater. A big magnet pulls the elevator its way and we arrive at the main entrance to a heavily guarded underground apartment. In my room a few of my other friends are already there, they have just finished performing music somewhere and I was unable to attend, I kindly let them stay in my room but they will go back to wherever they came from after their last show on sunday which I hope will allow my attendance although it was most unlikely as somehow I felt like I had something to do on that day. The pretty lady who walks the corridor is the caretaker of the apartment - manager, guard and maid. She walked into my room and cleaned the fan, she looked at me, smiled and explained that my friends had asked her to clean it. Unable to think of a quick witty pickup line as I was attracted to her, I resorted to telling her that she could be my housewife, this could be subtle sexual abuse to some, but she just smiled and resumed cleaning the classic fan, why would I need such a home appliance in this day and age when we have far advanced methods of cooling, I wouldn't know as it came with the room rental package.....TO BE CONTINUED.