Tuesday, July 29, 2008

sepandai-pandai tupai ditebuk

aku try ah msg random aweks kat facebook since aku tengok member aku buat rilek je siap bleh dapat date semua.

aku cuma dapat "fuck off you fat loser"

oh takpe takpe takpe dia kutuk kita.

sampai hati.


kau tunggu (ayat melayu bengang).

kau tunggu.

nanti aku kurus.

aku usha kau. aku dapat.

aku jolok kau.

aku creampie. (buat orang-orang macam that certain someone yang berlagak virgin padahal bukan yang tak tahu, creampie is fundamentally pancut dalam. the squeeze pussy and biar air mani keluar nampak macam creampie tuh pun could be a part of it. aku pernah beli cream pie semata mata nak cakap I BOUGHT A CREAM PIE sementara naik escalator, padahal bukan cream pie pun, cream cake kot. anyway harituh kat OU ada potato pie, nampak menarik, anyway).

ye aku creampie.

kau jaga, kau tengok, nanti anak kau muka macam aku.

suami kau heran camana anak buleh hensem padahal dia buruk, and kau pun apa kurangnya buruk.


take that.

nanti one day aku bawak anak kau keluar makan ice cream.

aku cakap "uncle nih lah sebenarnya bapak kau, kau adalah hasil daripada keceluparan dan kekurang ajaran mak kau"

"what uncle?" (budak budak zaman sekarang memang pekak and suka cakap english, poyos, tapi dia tak poyo sebab half of him is me, half-poyos leh kowt).

"err takde pape, what was it you wanted vanilla or chocolate?"

haha take that.

jaga kau.

takpe, kau kutuk aku, sampai hati.

takpe takpe kau tunggu (ayat bengang melayu standard lagi).

i'm tired of this bullshit

back in school whenever we had to write essays about how to end this or that for example how to end drugs and shit like that, we always had to use a few so-called standard pointers. you know, shit like do campaigns, education from parents and teachers and whatnot.

little did we know that the only solution is to cut the fucking supply.

if we cut the fucking supply, enforce fucking laws, make policemen wear judge dread costumes and uphold the law at every inch of this country, there will be no more misuse of drugs.

it's really that simple.

so with this political turmoil malaysia is heavily facing day-in day-out.

the only solution is to kill all these fuckers.

no second thoughts.

no dilemma. wait, there is a dilemma, the only one, being, err, what to use? ak-47s? rpgs? c4? (for a little touch of vengeful irony), sniper rifles? well it's not so much a dilemma as it is a drool inducing luxury. kinda like having to choose which one to fuck: jessica alba, vivica fox, shandy aulia, or scarlett johannson.

might as well just have a fucking orgy. shoot the fucker with ya ak, he falls. step a little backward, blast the cunt with ya rpg. if the body's still intact, bomb that shithead with ya c4. and just fer fun. go drive a few kilometres, get on top of a high rise tower, and shoot that bitch (whatever remains) with a sniper rifle.

enough. everything's done and dusted. genocide is the solution to our problems.

now boys and girls, we have the whole country to ourselves. fuck those greedy malay, chinese, indian and whatever other fucked race assholes. we are now raceless. who wants to fuck me, let's fuck each other and build a new country based on one race. we call this race, penyangak.

again, fuck you.

i hate all you fuckers. all you corrupt fucking two-faced cunts.

why do i care. i don't know. i decided not too care halfway between my reformasi days and now. succesfully too. but it's all too fucked up not too care. it's reaching an annoyance level no one could stand.

this country is ruled by shitheads. and i don't see any hope coming from anywhere too. so let's just destroy and rebuild.

all this aggression and anger i have right now, exist solely because i haven't had my morning wank yet.

where did i put that amateur anal video i just downloaded again.

oh yeah there it is ok byez.

(btol aku baru tambah gambar nih, and readers if any should be glad to know that i do possess the ability to post RELATED pics once in a while, but still, fuck you).

Friday, July 25, 2008

LIZA BURUNG ANTU (a tribute)

as promised earlier this year. lalz.

who is liza burung antu? she is the 'bitch' character in classic 80's teen movie gila-gila remaja.

in the movie she potrayed a 'bitch' who always pulled a face whenever loathsome (to her) guys (all guys, really) are around, and constantly advising (while pulling 'the face') the heroine (who ain't too cute) to stay away from them, giving us feminist vibes:

yeah we get it, the stereotypical i-hate-men bitch character, she's that. i've been watching this film on steady repeat ever since it came out when i was a kid, and i have never noticed anything special about her. yeah, up until that fateful moment when i saw a glance of paradise, that helpless kitten face, during the breakdance scene. wow. it was meant to be. god himself wanted me to witness the cuteness.

yes, she might be a bitch in the movie, but when she thinks no one else is looking, her muscles relax and her true self is revealed. well, she thought wrong, i was looking, through the pause button and the capture option. you cannot escape the kewtness detector.

we start with the breakdance scene:

nothing to see here, just my favourite actor faizal huseein, a famous malay actor from the 80's and 90's (or his stunt double) getting his b-boy on and wearing pink decades before kanye west made it trendy. snore.

wait what was that?

wu wu wuut? who's that chick on the right?

wait is that?


that's liza? that chick the fat dude ridiculed with the nickname 'burung antu'? (which means owl by the way). is that the bitch? what you sure?

huff puff puff (bated breath) huh huh huh.

am i? what? yeah. what? shit? shit. shit!

wow. (draws a small heart on the table with a knife).

heuw. phew. lalz.

what the fuck was roy (the hero acted by faizal hussein) thinking? he afta that chick with the book? you have the cutest fucking cutesy kitten fucking koala bear chick all this while and you after that new chick? no wonder liza was cranky and shit. she's cute as fuck and you after the ugly new girl who looks like a male friend of mine who used to be a skater back in high school?

look man, it's your loss. and your buddies' too, they make fun of her, laugh at her and shit. are all 80's rempit this stupid, allthough i'm quite glad rempit nowadays are of better taste, no matter how ugly they are they go for really cute chicks.

now if i was in this movie, i would learn b-boy just so i could see her cute face beam across the school. wearing her lovely white dress, with her lovely blown up hair. mm. i would date her, if she was lesbian, i would cross-dress just so i could date her. i don't wanna get into her pants, i wanna see her face everyday and get to squeeze it. i wanna squeeze that face mm geram i wanna pinch and wrench it till her vagina discharge start climbing up her body and get squeezed out her face like it was lemon. i wanna hug her while licking her fair skin mmmmmmmmmmm i wanna lick it till my tongue go white.

awwwwwwwwww. she's amused by what's happening in the classroom. awww look at how amused she is. she can't even keep a straight face awwwwwwwwwwwww sho kewt show cuuuuuuuuuuute kuci kuci kuci. i will learn to be funny just so i could amuse her and get her uncomfortable and unable to keep from smiling and sho cute. aww.

if you see the above two pics in the film or moving whatever, you will see how everyone is cracking up while she's just so you know, so calm but unable to control how amused she is, mm she must be blushing inside very blushy blushy sho kewt, her nipples must be pink and hard mmmmmmmmmmm. aww look at how cute her hand is, holding her face up, how cute.

awwwwwwwwwwwww she's amused again, this time next to the ugly heroine. aww how cute she is in comparison. kuci kuci kuci wanna kiss those cheeks. yes yes yes, where did the long loathful face go darling? it didn't go anywhere, that just acting, this is you, this is the real you, oh yes it is, oh yea oh yea oh yea it isss. this is you, you, you. i bet she has a shaven haven.

mm mm don't worry baby, daddy's here (although she's prolly older than mah parents). put your head on mah shouldah, don't worry bout a thang baby girl i'm a souljah. hee hee hee so cute. look at that, why is she amused again? maybe cause she caught a glimpse of how ugly the heroine's t-shirt is, or how corny the hair is. ugh, she's ugly and corny, not like you, you're cute, shoooooooooooooooo cute.

now.. let's get back to after the breakdance scene.
what? what the fuck roy? and remy (the sidekick, rosyam nor) too? you faggots got beef with ma girl yo? you faggots wanna fight essei? you putos, you mess wif mah girl, you mess wif me, esei, pinche mamon? you wanna dance? you wanna dance? i know a tune called stick and cuuuuuuuut, essei, huh? huh? huh? grgkh (pissed). fucking mullet ass gay vest wearing pendejo. i make you pay essei. don't mess with mi corazon. grgkh.

grkh. fuck.

you know what bitch, if you read this blog faizal hussein?, i'm gonna rub it in. your loss homie, your scrambler riding ass' loss. your faggot ass' loss puto. you think you cool, you think you can push my love around like that? i'll show what you missed puto. she's even cute WHILE she's pulling that loathing face. ptuih, fuck you pendejo.
she wants me

yeah exactly, 'who the fuck are you?', you ain't shit to her roy, but me? me? me? me? me homie? me? i'm the shiznit (that word hasn't existed yet back in the 80's i'm sure but if it has existed that's what i would be to her).

aww look at that she's chasing. i wish it was me she's chasing, i'd pretend to run, then stop and hug her to halt her run. even when she's running she's cute, she's like pamela anderson but cutie version, as opposed to titty version. her cuteness is boinking up and down, so is my heart. mm. mwahs.

^ that's what i call the 'hmph' face. her hmph face is shoooooooooooooooooooo cute.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm. i'm overdosed on her cuteness.

hmh. i guess all good things must come to an end. that's it for today's tribute.

btw, shoutouts to the sexy teacher:
which one?



still she ain't nuthin', just a fuck buddy. but liza burung antu da cuteness? mmmmmmmmmmmmm. i wanna grow old with her (actually penyangak, she's already old). fuck you words in brackets.


okay, that's enough cuteness for today, i think i've used up the entire year's supply of cuteness witnessing. but don't worry girls, if you're cute enough i'da still check you out, allthough i might look tired, that's the aftermath of my last overdose of liza burung antu. okay she might look like an owl a bit i can see where that nickname came from, but a cute owl. mm cute owl.

anyone looking like her cuteness (back in the 80's of course) my number is 012 something something something. have a nice day thanks babai.

last minute ps: you have to understand the fascination with this cutie. throughout the years, since the fucking 80's BITCH has been stamped on her character. i've never paid attention to her, she's just a stereotype and you take it as it is. the hero's the hero, and the heroine's the heroine. but after seeing glances of her sweetness when she's not being a bitch, when she thinks no one else is looking, i was like WHAT THE FUCK, is that her? wow. it's like when she turns on bitch mode she's a bitch, but when it's off she's the sweetest thing evva in this movie. it's irony that generates goosebumps. how how how so cute. gamers would call this a glitch, or maybe an easter egg. so fucking cute. argh. i need a female companion.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

here today

and shit yang aku take tadi, agak cair. haha. tapi best ah. bayangkan kau tengah berak cair sambil tengok the following pictures (would it come down easier, or would something else cum instead):

hot gramps. heuw. it ain't even phew no moar it's heuw, for her. heuw.

anyway some people might think i'm random. i'm not random, i just have short attention span sometimes i'm in the middle of writing something and

nih aku nak sambung cerita harituh.

awek tuh cakap, 'i'm so turned on right noww' (dalam accent bimbo).

apa lagi. dia masuk kereta dia. aku masuk kereta aku. konvoi. aku ikut kereta dia.

gi apartment dia. terus menjolok.

oleh kerana aku virgin maka aku tiada pengalaman lalu aku tros ikut je porn porn yang aku biasa tengok. first thing aku cakap bila aku nampak cipap dia ialah "ini pantat ke pantat?", pastuh dia jawap "what the fuck are you on about?", pastuh aku tampar muka dia "kau patut jawap 'ini pantat bang'", "ini pentart beng" (dia jawab dengan accent bimbo). takpelah buleh diterima. then masa tengah mendayung pantat dia cam ketat so aku cam "eh kesian dia, takpe ye yang, kita slow slow ye". pastuh masa tengah memantat aku amik video guna handphone, dia cakap "please don't take videos", aku pun macam "alah takpelah sekejap je yang", dia tak faham tapi dia jawap "at least don't take the face", aku pun macam "apa? apa? amik muka? kau gila apa?" sambil hala kamera phone kat muka dia. dia macam "huh?" tapi takpe ah. sambil amik video tuh aku pandang kat kamera phone pastuh cakap "kami budak-budak nakal damansara".

tengah best menjolok aku tukar hala tuju tusukan-tusukan aku ke arah lubang telinga dia, dia macam "auw that hurts baby", aku macam "argh shutup, cepat cakap papa jahat" "what?" "say papa jahat" "say what?" "PAPA JAHAT!" "papa jehut" (bunyik macam pizza hut sikit). sebab bunyik dia macam pizza hut sikit aku pun tiba-tiba lapar pastuh aku berenti. aku tanya "sayang daddy tak", dia macam "what?", aku belah pergi kat fridge dia amek coke light satu pastuh aku tengok t.v.

dia kejar aku, dia carut kat aku sambil aku tengah kat sofa. aku tengah sit, sweat tapi dia yang tengah curse, sebab dia tengah maki aku cam "swear word swear word swear word swear word i haven't cummed yet!".

aku macam, "err, yes, we were doing sex weren't we?"

dia macam, "yeah, so?"
"i cum, that's sex"

"i need to cum too"
"err, that's not sex"

"it's written in the books"

"what book?"
"the book of life"

"it doesn't exist"
"do you believe in the sun?"

"but you can't see it"

"what's your point?"
"you can't see it but you still believe in it right? just cause you can't see the book of life don't mean it don't exist nilla?!"

"err, but i can see the sun everyday, it's that shiny yellow thing? you dumbfuck"
"err.. mm. erh. prghhmpgh. okay show me your pussy" (sambil keluarkan lidah).

kill your learning

having moved a lot ever since you were a child could force you to slowly develop a defense mechanism.

it deters your ability to get too close to anyone at all. there's a limit to any friendship that you develop. any relationship that has the potential to elevate into best friend status will suffer an anti-climax. the only friend you stay in touch with is those on the internet because the internet will forever be your neighborhood no matter where you are physically. but this itself is no guarantee of any form of permanency because even the internet has addresses.

forget about homies. you will have no homies. even if you've stayed somewhere for more than 5 years and has developed a camaraderie with nearly every rudebwoi in the area who you think you could call your homies. wrong, next thing you know you're in a alien place, not alienated, but everyone there is definitely alien. and you have to fit in again, make new friends.

that is why later on in your life you realize you can't get really close to anyone at all. you have friends you've known since forever, but you don't even know what's his/her's favorite color.

your subconscious has put a limit to all your intimacies, if it even reaches that.

like everything, this has its pros and cons. you might feel less human, but humans hurt, and it wouldn't hurt to avoid some of the agony.

however. howevah. howevuh. now you are sitting here, stationary. for a few years, and counting, you will be static here, maybe forever. yet again, you have to fit in, adapt, adjust. but this time, to something that will most probably make you never have to fit in, adapt, or adjust, ever again. until heaven's big ass doors start to suck you in of course.

but i'm pretty sure it won't be too hard to adapt to rivers of beer and naked fairies. mm.

why do breasts, ass, and vagina fascinate men so much?

beats me, that's just how God (or chance for you godless heathens) created us. and i'm thankful for it. additionally, it's not just those three. i have a fascination for backs too. and a bit for others. everything about a woman is fascinating. except for her pms of course, that's not fascinating, that's procrastinating, procrastinate the date. know whok ammeen.

not all men have this fascination over women, some of us are fairies, butterflies, pinkytoes, butt sniffers, if you know whok ammeen.

unfortunately for you asspeditioners, i'm more into the sit, sweat and curse routine, i am all that is men, for women. i'm sorry.

i bought this big plastic bag of cotton buds.

did i tell you The Dark Knight was dope? haha it was. superbly awesome, dood. i know, i know, it was overhyped. that would make it harder to like right? you will be like, i'm gonna see if this shit is really good. like if someone was about to introduce you to a chick, and that someone is like 'yo yo this chick is fucking fine, perfect, marrrrrrrrrrrrvelous'. so once you get to meet her, you be like checking her out top to bottom, every fucking fine detail, like moles and skin contour and shit. you know? she will be under the fucking spotlight. this is not just any spotlight, this is the 'fucking' spotlight. like the ending credits of that mr. bean tv series.

and you know what, it was the first time i watched anything at a luxury cinema. truthfully i haven't found any movie deserving of it. i thought TDK was, so i went for it. why? cause i liked Batman Begins. Batman Returns was one of my favourite movie ever as a kid, and i thought Batman Begins was nearly as or as good as it. i mean the whole purist (bullshit) loyalty to tim burton (or anything older than anything else) bullshit did arise at first from the vile repugnant abyss of geekery, but once i've watched that shit properly i just thought to myself, that was pretty good. and since TDK was touted to be an elevation from that, i guess it was worthy of my 25 bucks. what? 25 bucks? yeah i thought it was quite cheap for those comfy reclinable seats and the phantasm of luxury before you walk out to the over populated sticky reality.

i enjoyed that shit, for real. i love pop corn movies, but i hate movies that are too obvious in assuming that you're a dumbshit (hey i'm not that intelligent (intelligence is for douchebags lalz) but i'm not that simple either). TDK achieved a balance. with beautiful action, good acting, and good dialogues. if they just put a few frames of jessica alba naked and not saying a thing it would (albeit through a facile method) be the pitch perfect masterpiece it deserves to be.

plus it had 4 (3 since Batman Begins though) actors that i admire, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, and the late Heath Ledger (anything to do with all of them having some kind of british roots? fuck you australia is british, with reject ancestors) (special shoutouts to Morgan Freeman and that dude that played that dude that ended with the terminator on half of his face). with that you have two certified legendary british badasses Caine and Oldman, and two upcoming acting legends Bale and Ledger. pity Ledger left the world, way too early, but not at a bad time.

leave while you're on top they say, and how else can you describe the joker in this one? super fucking magnilously (i don't think this word exist) fucking megalomoamcna (neither does this one, quite obviously) naked babe on a stick (this term does exist, believe it or not). he was ill as shit. to me, TDK was about joker, but the ending was all Batman (gotta defend mah welsh brotha).

i could end this entry better but right now, i really really really have to take a shit. like dude, really.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

sank into the chair

today, i meant yesterday afternoon. i went on a date. with someone who i usually only have sex with (strictly fucking). mad sex, day and night, countless times. today i was like, yo, we need to go to a movie together, like normal everyday couples.

so after tiring ourselves out, eating, we went to watch the dark knight. special day so we watched it together at the platinum cinema. comfy ass reclinable seats. we didn't even touch each other, we stuck to ourselves and paid attention to penyangak bale, penyangak ledger, and penyangak oldman. they didn't dissapoint! IT WAS DOPE AS FUCK!

btw, 'we' is me and my lovely hands.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

worst enemy

tadi aku drive kat nkve, kat tol tol jam gila, padahal lepas junction tuh takde jam, kenapa jam in the first place? kenapa jam padahal sebenarnya tak jam. argh.

lagi 5 kilometer sampai rumah dowh. aku tengah tension nih. sebab perut lapar kot. arghhhhhhhhh. fuck telefon lak bunyik. argh aku tengah tension nih kau membising lak pukibai. aku amek telefon tuh aku bukak tingkap aku terus baling ke jalan.

except, dia tak end up kat jalan. dia teros menembusi tingkap kereta sebelah aku. padahal aku tengah jam, takkan ah aku baling dia teros ke mana mana kecuali ke kereta orang lain kan? apekebuduhnya itu pun tak leh budget. argh. pecah cermin minah tuh pastuh terus bende tuh POOP landing baeknya kat muka minah tuh, macam penampar, except that penampar ini sebijik telefon yang boleh terima signal wi-fi.

okaylah jam jam pun mana buleh biar je kan belah. depan tuh ada petronas, lepas petronas dah tak jam, tapi takpe ah berenti kat petronas.

aku keluar keta, aku terus macam tadah muka, kira aku cam depankan sikit muka aku camtuh. sebab bersedia nak kena maki. maka berlumbalah air liur minah tuh untuk sampai ke garisan penamat yang merupakan muka aku yang hensem nih.

macam-macam carutan bersepah sampai ada yang mungkin dia invent sendiri kot.

pastuh awek tuh senyap. and dia pandang muka aku. BERSAMBUNG.

Friday, July 18, 2008

some shit i've watched

a UK channel four tv series. not so bad. it's no Peep Show (well to be fair it came before peep show) but ya know, it's not bad. i hate those clever gimmicky things they always do like you know manicky imaginary shit going which is sooo 2001, and this show was from 2001 anyway so anyway who cares, it wasn't bad, i enjoyed some of the humour and characters.

Central Do Brasil (Central Station)
a classic brazilian film about a (mild) conwoman, and a street-ridden kid. it was okay, you know, i guess when it comes to brazilian films, my heart belongs to the favelas (cidade de deus, tropa de elite, cidade dos homens, etc), which might explain why i didn't enjoy this one, and pixote (which is a classic) as much as those three mentioned. there's just something about squatters on mountains next to the ocean so appealing on a level that i can't decide on because i started with there's just something which meant i don't really have a grasp on what the fuck i am trying to explain right now. krugh. lalz.

In Bruges
nice irish comedy/gangster shit. atmosphere might seem a little dark, the comedy definitely on an 'inappropriate' level, like a lotta light-hearted what the fuck situations, like, what the fuck penyangak? i don't even know what i'm saying but i thought it was funny like what the fuck haha, nice one. it's about two irish assassins sent to bruges to stay low for a while, who? what? why? watch. and it must be a trademark for most british gangster/crime flicks to have beautiful colour corrections.

La Mujer De Mi Hermano
a mexican film about beautiful rich fuck houses and a beautiful confused wife. i need to stress 'beautiful confused wife'. i need to re-stress 'BEAUTIFUL confused wife. cause she's fine as fuck. it's about a beautiful ass fucking gloriously gorgeous hot cute fuck beautiful divine ass fucking good looking married chick who's confused. if only it was i who just happened to be at the right place right time in the midst of her confusion. argkh. other than that, nothing much to shout about other than the great colours, filmography, and the title's similarity to mis 3 hermanas. mm mis 3 hermanas, mm ROXANA DIAZ.

mm ROXANA DIAZ. (i'll post pics of the chick from the movie which is more appropriate later cos i gotta run off to work in a while, yeah i wrote this right after finishing the whole entry and realizing i need more pics up in this bitch, latah).

i normally think sci-fis are corny, but this wasn't bad. ehh it was aight.

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
it was aight. quite funny. prefer the first one.

Secuestro Express
pretty good venezuelan movie (why am i watching a lotta south american flicks? causa the hot chicks of course why else you clueless cunt) about abduction of rich fucks by fucky fucks from ghettos which is something normal in poor south america. interesting. i think mosta the thugs were played by rappers, one of them wore the same shoes as this one shoe i have. and no i have never abducted anyone. no i don't have a gun. and yes the similarity starts and ends with the shoes. one of the most fucked up scene was when one of the thugs accompanied one of the abductees to the atm and the abductee got abducted by another criminal and a really ironic situation ensued. and it's pretty fucked up that the american english dictionary spell check is red-lining abductee which exists in british ones, well fuck you bush.

The Prestige
quite nice film about magicians, and magic, and shit. and both of me was in it. penyangak bale AND penyangak jackman.

Wild Zero

did i say badass?
(of course you already did you cliched fat fuck)

some things i learnt from this movie:
  • always comb your hair after doing something like shooting zombies or while your band leader is shooting zombies or killing them with magic guitar picks or whatevah.

  • always carry a guitar on your back while helping out a fellow rock n roller fend away zombies. and on that note, always carry a katana in your guitar but use it only once per movie.

  • whenever you're in a high-storey building and the bad guy shoots a missile towards the exact room you're in, always jump through the window from the explosion while shouting LOCK N LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

  • more cool shit.

  • muthafuckah.

classic 60's british movie which sparked the rise of the psycho badassery that is malcolm mcdowell and some even say, punk! the gist of the film is the conclusion of it so i can't say much other than that it's about a british boarding school, crazy ass malcolm mcdowell. some of his pawns. and some random chick they found in a cafe (or a dream?).

some malay movie from that dude who did cinta? cinta wasn't bad. this one was like, okay if you feel like watching a 2-hour long music video of a sappy ass malay love song, you can gladly watch this. other than that, nothing else except maybe a bit of afdlin shauki humour, fapping to oldies like nasha aziz and vanida imran (mmm vanida imran in baju kurung mm fap fap fap), and some other shit. btw, i watched this in the cinema. come on laugh at me now, i will not take it personally or grab my axe. oh and i remembered that ve dude destroying ikhlas tapi jauh for some ost, now he's doing it to that rossa aku bukan untukmu song (which was beautifully sung by her). wow, notorious. what i meant was, WHEN THE FUCK WILL THIS ASSFUCKERY END!?!! ARGKH.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army
it was aight. just like the first one. nice designs. not much of a darky gothicy fairy taily kinda guy but i can appreciate the designs still. nahmeen.

Anwar vs. Shabery Debate (about lowering fuel prices)
LOL aka LALZ aka wauhkgehagheaukhukga. a nice widely hyped and televised guide to the umno way of responding to the opposition's oppositioning. rule number one, never address any type of enquiries directly cause if you try to you will look like a shit cause everybody knows those enquiries refer to the obvious fuck ups of the party that owns you. rule number two, always refer to irrelevant personal or ridiculously sensationalized issues. rule number three, try your best to look like a benign cyst compared to the opposition representative. rule number four, make sure next morning the mainstream newspapers project clearly that you were the opposite of the benign cyst that you actually were, exaggeration of a non-existent success in fending off opposition attack is a bonus. and other cunty rules, of course.

fuck you.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

omar little (from the wire) vs. some government pawn (malaysian fuel price debate)

me, you and everybody else tuned in last night to watch a high profile political debate between PKR advisor Anwar and Information Minister Shabery.

okay i didn't tune in but i watched it on youtube whilst the dude was uploading it one by one at 3 or so AM. lalz.

it was fun.

anwar previously in his speeches had asked for the PM or the DPM or both. there are two reasons for this, one, they would be worse contests than shabery, two, anwar wants to totally and severely embarrass the government, and this was the best way. cunning? for sho', he's a politician you know how they roll. however he didn't get his wish granted.

instead he got shabery who is a g00t speaker, it's just that his content was typical umno propaganda. i was expecting anwar to play the 'personal attack' too since that was all shabery could resort to and that's what oppositions like to do (kutuk kerajaan) but he calmly avoided wasting his time dwelling on it. instead (like the 'semangat 46' part) he would just calmly respond with slight but fatal swipes then continue with the more relevant content which effectively made shabery look like a fool.

i don't even know if anwar made sense with his explanation of how to increase subsidy. and i can't blame shabery for not being able to keep up with anwar (and constantly getting the flaw of his so-called facts pointed out by anwar), he's only a minister of information. but from someone watching this as just a debate, shabery was out of order, no matter how well spoken he was.

was there any need for irrelevant personal attacks and umno propagandas (who really gives a fuck who anwar was in the past whatever it was). those took nearly more than half of his speech. he didn't even answer most of the questions. while anwar did explain about why only 50 cents which to me was the main question that was even repeated two times by shabery. to me the opposition promised to lower fuel prices, they didn't say what the lowered price was (this is my imitation of how girls like to manipulate the truth lalz, i'm not even sure if the opposition ever did specify a price, fuck i know fuck i care), the government promised NOT to raise prices, a promise fundamentally broken without a doubt just a coupla months after the election (and we're still voting for them because?). i didn't think shabery was even bothered with any form of questions like the one from the guy whose questions you were supposed to answer in one whole round.

instead, what we acquired from him was more knowledge about what anwar did in '74 (i wonder if he listened to led zeppelin back in the days, enlighten us in the next debate plz mr. shabery?) , something something imf, something something who gives a fuck.

haha what a funny. it was disgusting, but at least shabery can really speak unlike that dude who caused the unplanned assassination of the malaysian people's image (so we're broken englished thugs now?). i'd say nice try by shabery, i don't even blame you for your content cause i'm pretty sure you're being forced to do it, i'm pretty sure you're an intelligent man, insaflah and you can join my upcoming new political party as one of our speakers (we'll provide the speech). PENYANGAK PARTY or was it PELANCHAU PARTY? can't really remember, both AWESOME-O names nonetheless.

and uh here's the twist (or not), i don't really agree that much with anwar's obsession towards increasing fuel subsidy anyway. okay maybe we could decrease the prices a little bit in line with the fact that we're exporters, maybe about 50 cents as suggested by anwar for an early step is enough, but no more than that (as anwar has promised), to me that's going a little too extreme considering oil is not a permanent asset and this is not a solution that i think is viable in the long run (although what the fuck would i know, the dude was our finance minister).

we should consider focusing more on expanding the alternatives. like whatever and whatever and whatever. like nik aziz said. i mean not all of us want to speed on the highways, some of us just want to get from point a to point b and then point c to point c and then an option of either point d, e, or back to point a or b, or just driving around and around point c, you know?

our salaries are not really high, the government don't seem to understand this. they need to figure out a balance between the country's financial state, the people's spending power, and the prices of shit. aight? it's as simple as that. we're not gonna go against them because of oil or other petty shit, it's because of their management of this country. we all know they corrupt as fuck, this is not a rumour, this is a fucking rule, if you dealing with the government one of the things you have to deal with is 'paham-paham jelah' or 'biasa ah tuh' (i don't know how to translate this phrase, help english maestros, pourpres?). it's not a speculation, it's tradition.

can i has sum change plz?

don't matter who. and don't worry peoples, parti penyangak (or pelanchau) is coming soon to a 7E near you. yeah bitches we operate 24/7 and we taking over this country with public enemy music (and a bit of wu tang here and there, maybe in debates, like they would say but why this and that and we cut 'em off and be like stfu PARTY PENYANGAK (OR PELANCHAU) AIN'T NUTHIN' TAH FUCK WIT! KONICHIWA BITCHES). muthafuckah.

(start watching the debates here)

Monday, July 07, 2008

this is how we do, how we get down

jangan setia kat parti, setia kat negara. jangan setia kat negara, setia kat benua. jangan setia kat benua, setia kat dunia. jangan setia kat dunia, setia kat tuhan. jangan setia kat tuhan? selalu selalulah jemur diri untuk sediakan diri. itupun kalau kau percaya lah, kalau kau tak percaya aku tak nak paksa kau percaya. apa gunanya kita berdebat kalau hakim kita tunggu kat alam sana. apa gunanya kita berdebat kalau kau bukan perempuan dan takkan ada make up sex lepas tuh. kalau kau perempuan pun apa gunanya berdebat kalau takde pent up sexual tension yang akan dilepaskan pas tuh. apa guna berdebat kalau akan habis dengan pertumpahan darah. apa guna tumpah darah kalau takde siapa yang tadah. apa guna tadah darah kalau takde siapa yang minum. apa gunanya minum kalau kau dahaga gi pas tuh. apa gunanya kau dahaga kalau kau tak minum. apa gunanya kau tak minum kalau kau dahaga.

apa guna buat jus buah kalau kau tambah gula jugak.

apa guna rempit kalau tak ada torchlight dengan parking space untuk di lelong. apa guna minah rempit kalau tak tonggeng. jangan jadi awek kalau kau tak dapat handle pussy. kau ingat pussy tuh senang nak handle, kau ingat kau tengok cerita blue kau dah cukup expert? pussy nih macam chemical engineering, ada ke chemical engineer graduate dengan tengok chemicals jolok chemical lain? tak mungkin. kalau ada aku tak berminat sebab aku prefer manusia. apa guna manusia kalau takde perasaan. kalau kau takde perasaan taraf kau lagi bawah pada binatang? kenapa? sebab binatang lagi bagus pada kau, tapi sebab kau ada perasaan yang binatang pun takleh handle, kau jadi atas sikit. apa gunanya sujud kat adam kalau takde janji yang kau takkan kena campak kat jahanam kalau kau sujud.

heritage row bukan tempat untuk enjoy, ianya tempat untuk beratur. semua orang takkan dapat lupakan alam sekolah. semua orang takkan dapat lupakan perhimpunan hari isnin. semua orang takkan dapat lupakan beratur. semua orang benci beratur. tapi semua orang belajar tinggi-tinggi, kerja gaji tinggi, semata-mata untuk beratur balek. kat club, kat pos office, kat red light district masa peak hour, kat yong tau foo uptown. hek eleh, kat pos office mana beratur, amek nombor lah. semua orang nak amek nombor. semua perempuan boleh di hakimi 1-10. semua lelaki cakap respek perempuan, tapi semua lelaki akan bagi 1-10 ratings untuk perempuan. semua lelaki akan amek nombor. semua lelaki kalau boleh nak nombor 7.5 ke atas. tak semua lelaki nasib baik. yang nasib baik amek nombor lain. nombor ekor lah buduh.

aku rasa cendol tuh macam syurga. tapi bukan setiap hari buleh minum cendol. tapi kat syurga setiap hari boleh. setiap saat pun buleh. masa sekolah cikgu cakap kat syurga leh mintak burger sekelip mata dapat. pastuh kau buat apa dengan burger tuh? kau makan lah.

aku nak mandi dalam sungai susu. and aku nak berenang sampai aku jumpa buah dada.

i'll never say goodbye, never never could, you know i never would

reading too much into things. paranoid. bells are ringing but bells are not ringing cause nobody rung the bell, i know this because i went down and opened the door when i thought the bells were ringing. the bells are ringing again. is that the phone ringing, no it's not because i have no phone. what's that noise? oh yeah, it's called the night. what's that ringing again? that's your head tilt it a little bit the paranoia might heal, are there any pills for this and no i'm not high. anybody want me to buy them on facebook? say so, drop your facebook here. not hungry but i feel like eating, not horny but i feel like wanking, need to piss but i'm holding it in. can't hold it anymore so i go piss now brb. i'm back. play cod4 and piss people off, sometimes i get pissed as well, i shouldn't, but i'm just not matured enough to realize this. is that the bells? no it's not. am i gonna wake up in the middle of pitch blackness sweating looking at the ufo through the windows, again. am i going to have a good drive in an empty neighbourhood while aliens are on their way here to wage war. wage war against humans or certain humans? cause i will be on their side against certain humans. sodomy is the talk of the town, the whole town is talking about sodomy, but sodomy is still a lonely being. you can have both legal and illegal powers in here if you join the right political party. there will be no revolution without the help of alien forces, preferably ones that look like us so we could laugh at the idiots who thought aliens looked like.. aliens.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

mad props

a considerably large amount of props iz due to the dude who received a blowjob in his car in the middle of a fucking jam in bukit fucking bintang.

how the fuck did you achieve that. mad fucking props.

and the rempits are back too.

Friday, July 04, 2008

don't push me cause i'm close to the edge, i'm trying not to lose my head

i'm sorry if anyone did read this fiasco, i kinda read it and thought it was super lame, other than the main character's name being fuck of course. but sorry. deleted this bitch. sorry again.

don't ever fucking question that

you make me feel oblivious to everything around me. you are the only one who could hurt me, and you always try not to. i am so sensitive, i am touchy, anything people say can affect me no matter how small, a breeze of wind could hurt like hell if you're skinless, let alone fire ants. but no more. maybe you are pampering me, you distrupt the creation of my own defence mechanism. but i am tired of being independent. i want to be a parasite, i want to be that little sparrow standing straight on an eagle, you are the eagle soaring through the sky looking for a rat to snatch. i can be your eagle too sometimes, we will be each other's eagles. we take turn to be sparrows. you are my guardian angel, you will rain fire and brimstone over assholes who try to hurt me, you will shoot lightning at assholes who disgust me. you are my george w. bush, you will make everything disappear, you will conquer anything that needs conquering. that did not sound right but let me continue. you are my cleopatra, you mesmerize me, it doesn't matter that you don't even give a fuck about me. words can hurt me, but not when you're around, only yours could, and you always try not to. when i put my dick in your pussy you will squeeze it like it was diamonds that i'm trying to take away although it's actually my dick that belongs to me, but you can have it for a quarter of a second, before i take it back, then give it back to you, and so forth, you like it when i'm teasing. because when i tease, you get all wet, and you feel embarrassed because you don't want to cause flashfloods, you care for other people's welfare. if you start a flashflood in our room with your vaginal discharge, we will drown together, out of breath, we will look at each other panicking. and then i will open the door, and introduce your vaginal fluids to the world. only to suck it all back cause they can't have that shit, it's all mine. when you see the doctor, i won't let him touch your breasts, for it is all mine. to have something that has free will, but i can claim as all mine, all mine.. all mine! is the most beautiful feeling in the world. unfortunately, you don't exist, fuck you, why can't you exist? exist now! you don't exist, so here i am lying down in this bed, feeling like shit, looking at the ceiling, wishing i could just submerge into the ocean and start fondling the cock of a blue whale. ARGKH i suck.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


i don't have a split personality. none at all. it's just me.

but let's just assume that i might, could, or do, maybe.

i was driving just now and i went "yaw, what should i eat" to a possible another me. of course there is no another me, so another voice went "yaw, who the fuck are you talking to yaw?".

and then i paused. and i was like, if i didn't have another me why would there be another me scolding me for talking to another me because there's no another me.

i stopped the car.

i went outside.

i ran into the woods.

deep into the woods.

i ran up the mountains, towards the highest tree.

what happened to my car?

it's still moving. and i'm driving.

waukhghekagueaugakuhgeagukeakugeahhkuga wtf.