Sunday, July 24, 2005

Santa Menopause

Today I woke up quite early, around 8, with wide open eyes, and now it's look at the posted at yourself sucka PM and I'm not sleepy, wowee, that's kinda cool. Yeah I know no big deal, but I just felt kinda cool. Actually last night I was watching this old movie, well not too old, Bad Santa, pretty nice movie, but I was too tired so I kinda slept with lights on and shit though half-concious did pause the media player. The movie was tight. That's two - old criminal and a kid relationship movies I've seen this week, the other was Leon a.k.a The Professional, which was pretty okay, Portman was hot, but the ending sucked ass.

Bad Santa was much better, Billy Bob Thornton just fucking killed it (Which means he kicked ass in rap lingo), he's just effortlessly cynical, unapologetically assholic, yes, how fucking smooth is walking around with a santa outfit, drinking beer then throwing the emptied bottle on a random mercedes benz front mirror or whatever. And then that part where some kid was questioning him being Santa, "No, I'm a fucking accountant, I just dress like this as a fashion statement". Yo and how about swearing like fuck when talking to a kid, no holds barred like what the fuck are you talking about you idiot. Anyway, I could ramble more about this but it's better if cats who haven't already just fucking see it innit. Cause you know it set a new record for christmas movies by having the most swear words. And allthough it's about an asshole who fucking cracks safes to steal money, well what he really just do with the money is rent an apartment, drink all day, fuck wemenz and cause shit, you can relate to him if you wanna, I can relate to him, he's just a simple man with a kind heart and a drunk mind, it's like what he said to the midget "Look at you people, look at all that shit, do you really need all that shit".

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Saat Bahagia

Kepala pantat engkau lahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Ha?! Pantat?! Mana? Mana?!@)

Anyway, dunia terlalu indah woooheeee woeoheheheeeeyaaaaaaaaa (Shahila - saat bahagia), nyanyilah kamu semua lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Whatever.

Engkau, ya engkau, mari sini, mari mari. Ya engkau, wahai engkau, yang berambut lurus, bermata warna apa entah, ye engkau, perempuen, mari sini, puaskan, yaaa puaskannnn, puaskan keinginan ku untuk bercinta. (Hek eleh mamat nih, kecco ah).

Tapi dulu kau liarrrrrrrr, kata ketua gang itu kepada ahli barunya.

Anyway. Hi kawan-kawan, aku takde idea, aku tidur tak tentu masa. Aku cukup tidur, tapi nak tidur jugak, pasal biasa sekarang nih aku tengah tidur, kenapa aku tak mandi? Aku pun tak tahu. Sepatutnya aku mandi, tidur dah cukup, nasi lemak dah makan pagi tadi, jadi? Mandi! Oh mandi, betapa mandi itu... Okay ah aku amik tuala, jap lagi aku mandi, ataupun sekarang.

Takpun aku ada idea, meh layan lagu nih, lagu apa kau kata? Lagu nih..... Lagu apa ya?! Lagu KRU - apa saja apa saaaaaaajaaaa untukmuuuuuu tak kuhirhaigaa layan doh.

Aku tak jiwang sebenarnya, ya, malah sebaliknya, sekarang nih aku tengah tak jiwang langsung, tuh yang membuatkan aku nak jiwang, best ka tak jiwang langsung nih, rasa macam kaki besar pun ada, maksud aku big foot, takde perasaan, best gak takde perasaan, tapi kalau terdengar lagu jiwang, aduh, feeling lah pulak, kalau dah feeling, tapi tak boleh buat apa-apa kecuali gengggam tangan pastuh cakap "yeah" macam chow sing chee, baik tak payah feeling doh.

Best ke jiwang? Memang best, tapi menyusahkan. Kadang-kadang kau rasa macam lagi best sakit hati daripada takde perasaan, tapi rupanya itu semua karut, daripada aku sakit hati, baik aku makan ayam, ayam roasted, UUUuuuu yeah. Ayam merah lagi best, ayam merah yang kat orang kahwin tuh, bila nak makan ayam merah kahwin sendiri?

Kepala hotak kau lah.

Tapi ironic kalau aku kahwin takde ayam merah, alah ayam merah kahwin tuh, bukan ayam merah yang tak best ataupun ayam madu yang tak best, tapi ayam merah kahwin tuh, ya memang pelik kalau takde kat majlis aku sendiri, pasal setiap kali aku pergi majlis kahwin orang, ada beberapa perkara yang aku look forward tuh, selain daripada cuci mata tengok ayam berkaki dua, aku juga tak sabar nak makan ayam merah, itupun kalau ada lah kan, kononnya cakap ayam berkaki kuda nak maksudkan manusia, padahal ayam yang binatang pun berkaki dua.

Jangan jadi sangkek hey jangan salah angkut hooo.

Anyway way way way weyyyyyyy.

Dan bodynya ramping muka memanggg jambuuuu.

Sorry ciplak lirik Nico sikit. Nico rules.

Anywoyyy woyyy woiiii.

Hari nih aku round round kat bangsar. Takde tujuan pun saje je round, tak boleh? Tapi takde ayam berkaki dua untuk ku cuci mata. Tapi takpe, pasang CD Company Flow siket, aku rasa cool buat beberapa minit, padahal aku belum mandi, rambut macam baru lepas melancap sambil kusutkan rambut.

Okay ah babai.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


"While San Andreas is already full of violent behaviour and sexual themes, the pornographic scenes push it over the edge"

It's about the patch that unleashes a few boobies up that ass.

And wow. The funniest thing I read all day.


This has been going on for years. It's like the news. It's still okay to show the old ultra-violence but once the old in-out in-out pays the old suprise visit, it's "over the edge".

Yes that's the world we live in.

And I favour boobs over cracked heads anytime suckaz.

I still can't believe this shit. It's bad for kids to shoot at people's heads, but it's "badder" if they have sex. I don't know, let's mingle a little bit with this idea, you kill people, you kill people, the other fuck gets pain and suffering, you have sex, the other fuck gets pleasure, and maybe well polished nipples, and the good old endorphins up that ass, I mean brains. Worse comes to worse, she gets pregnant.

Oh well too pissed off to think. Human logic is fucked, yet we still value it like fuck. Fuck it.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


It's sad innit. All Friends Requests pending in my friendster account are hot females, I mean chicks.

The brightside is if I'm bored and feel like oogling at hot females, I mean chicks at friendster, I don't need to look far.

Plus some of these females, I mean chicks have been in that pending slot for years.

Har har har. I'm a focking loser.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


So yesterday I walked out of the house and went into my car. I drove to damansara utama. I parked somewhere near a cyber cafe. I stepped out and I found out that, I stepped on a snail :( ............... wait no I didn't, for you to poop on! So I walked and walked and walked towards a place to eat. Went in and sat down at a nasi ayam restaurant.

Dear diary, today I think I fell in love.

Dear diary, I kiddd I kidddddd.

Dear diary, does anyone ever read my blog?

Dear master, you remember when you were a kid and you wrote about how you said you were going to terawih but actually you went to play mercun war with your friends. You remember? Well whatever, I do, so right now all I'm saying is, you're a fuckhead, I'm trying to fuck devon aoki's diary right now, in other words, please fuck off.

Dear diary, why are you so mean?

Dear master, why are you so fat?

Dear diary, because I eat a lot

Dear master, that's not the point of my question

Dear diary, then what is?

Dear master, that you're a fuckass

Dear diary, whateva

Dear master, don't whatever me

Dear diary, well don't dear me you faggot

Dear master, diaries don't have gender sir

Dear diary, that's beside the point

Dear master, then what's the point?

Dear diary, fuck off

Dear master, I said that first

Dear diary, so what's your point exactly?

Dear master, that if you listened to what I said you wouldn't be around to say fuck off to me in the first place

Dear diary

Dear master, what?

Dear diary

Dear master, what? you twit

Dear diary, what......................ever

Dear master, you're an asshole

Dear diary, Wkahgkahgkahgkahkga

Dear master, bye

Dear diary, nice talking to you sucka.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Loser + Hot Chick

Can I still bitch about new jack swing disguised as hip hop? Cause it's a fucking plague nowadays, it's like every fucking pop song has to be new jack swing but misunderstood as hip hop. Don't get me wrong new jack swing can be good. And what is it with rapping in BM baku, like what the fuck, I got out of school to truly and purely fucking escape that shit, and this paradise is getting spoiled, by fucking rappers? Fuck off.

Well whatever.


I'm fucking single innit. Yet again I ask, any beautiful girls up for a relationship that doesn't make sense (loser + hot chick)?

Nice try, you useless fuck.